


Read The Whole Contract

by Daliaveyani, Fluerette_Rose



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Addiction, After Rehab, American Celebrity, Bad Reputation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Former Model, Idols, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Musicians, Rating is for Much Later, Slow Burn, Starting Over, Underwear model, future relationship, future sex, kpop, wealthy family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2018-08-15 01:38:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 53,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8037193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daliaveyani/pseuds/Daliaveyani, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluerette_Rose/pseuds/Fluerette_Rose
Summary: I know Original Characters turn some people off, but I hope you guys give this a chance! I have over 200,000 words in this story written, but I'll be posting them in short chapters. The story is based mainly around Blaise Warwick, the son of a big time CEO who created and owns an international computer Security company, and Dong Youngbae, Taeyang from the group Big Bang. I hope you all like it!***Fresh out of Rehab and ready to start over Blaise expects life in South Korea to be smooth sailing, but he doesn't expect to be thrown in with men who are not only far more talented than himself, but also don't want much to do with him, except of course for the money his mother is sending their way to do it. Sure the group is already huge, they already have plenty of sponsors, but it's a lot of money, and he can't be too difficult, right?





	1. First Glance

Pulling a small Louis Vuitton suitcase behind him Blaise walked through Seoul-Incheon International Airport, the majority of his luggage was already put away for him in his new apartment, which was just down the street from the school he'd be attending, Lumia-Ki University of Arts, there he'd be studying Drama, Film, Music, and Dance, among other things he was expected to learn, like the Korean language. Thinking about it made the young model want to scrunch his nose up, not really in disgust, simply annoyance, Jacob had already learned Korean and was an excellent translator, why did he have to learn it too? Instead of letting the frustrated thought cloud his immaculate appearance he kept his face calm and almost uninterested as he quickly switched his thoughts to how chrome everything was, everything at LAX was warm creams and greys, here every surface seemed to be a crisp white or shining silver that almost sparkled when the light flashed off of it. He didn't like it, but at least it wasn't distasteful.

 

Finally he saw his name, his long time friend and part time babysitter Jacob Sanderson stood in a tailored black suit with his brown hair curling slightly behind his ears as he smiled at Blaise. Jacob was about just over ten years older than him, he'd been hired as a driver when Blaise had turned fourteen and after the pair butted heads a few times they'd actually become friends, as much as they could be when Jacob was always pulling Blaise out of embarrassing situations. Blaise rested his free hand on the strap of the Louis Vuitton messenger bag that hung over his shoulder. Finally stepping up to Jacob he gave him a cool smile and let him take the rolling suitcase out of his hand. "How was your flight?" He asked politely, smiling back and leading Blaise out of the airport.

 

"You know, a bit of this, a bit of that, the flight attendant was desperately trying to get me to join the mile high club, you would have liked her, but she should have realized I don't swing that way when I pulled out a compact to fix my hair and makeup." he tucked back a piece of his perfectly coiffed white blonde hair and chuckled. In no time he was ushered into the back of a black limousine and whisked away to his new home.

 

The limo pulled up in front of the apartment building's lobby and Blaise pulled on a pair of Louis Vuitton sunglasses before stepping out of the car, his white jeans shown brightly in the afternoon sun and dark LV belt stood out against them. Straightening his tucked in light blue button-up he rested his hand again on his messenger bag's strap and walked through the sliding glass doors. The lobby was somewhat drab, the decor slightly worn and the colours a mix of beige and white. Blaise let a frown take his features for just a second as Jacob came in behind him. "There's also something I should tell you Blaise, but I think it can wait until you've seen your apartment." His voice was smiling and bright as he led Blaise to a silver elevator at the side of the room, not letting anything about the fact that he'd be sharing not only his apartment, but his room, go just yet.

 

"God, I'd ask if you got me a puppy, but they don't allow pets." Blaise smirked back as the elevator dinged past floor after floor, his apartment was on the seventh floor, number seven thirteen, but from the colourless lobby and hallway he wasn't too keen on the interior of his apartment. Of course, he also had Jacob, who could always find the best interior decorator.

 

"You'll be starting class the day after tomorrow, but for now I have someone you should meet." Jacob said, setting Blaise's suitcase down and opening the unlocked door, nodding his head as he held it open for him. "This is D-" Jacob glanced at the young man who was currently leaning over a laptop at the bar next to the kitchen, and continued, "Apologies, this is Taeyang, he'll be your new tutor, but keep in mind that his life doesn't revolve around you as mine normally does."

 

"I'm going to school, what more do I need?" Blaise wrinkled his nose in annoyance, but quickly took a breath and shook his head. "Whatever, if you say tutor, then tutor it is, but for now I need a drink." He looked at Jacob expectantly, but the man didn't move, just mirrored Blaise's head shake from the moment before.

 

"I thought I sent you a list of the rules, or rather I know I did and I thought you had read them. Alcohol isn't allowed in the building." He tensed slightly ready for the anger that was no doubt going to come from Blaise.

 

Taeyang had taken his headphones off and was watching them now, he'd met Jacob several times, had heard about the man he about to start babysitting, read more than he wanted to know from the American media about him, and now he couldn't help but wonder if what he was getting out of the deal was worth it. "Hey Jacob, this is the brat then?" He asked in Korean, since according to the boy's handler he didn't speak a word of Korean yet. He was almost _too_  thin, his features soft, and his skin could rival a Korean woman's, he would have described him as tiny, except that he was a giant, easily over six feet tall, maybe six two or six three, either way he seemed too tall for how feminine he looked. "With a mouth like that and a reputation like you have young man you need more than a tutor." He growled at Blaise in English before looking back at Jacob with what he hoped was a cool, professional, demeanor.

 

" _What?_  I'm an adult, a legal adult, and I can't have a drink in my own apartment, what have you brought me into Jacob?" The blonde looked like he'd been slapped, How did Jacob expect him to survive without at least _something_  to take the edge off, he'd just spent almost six months in court mandated rehab and now Jacob was telling him he basically had the same rules here? Where on Earth had they sent him?

 

Taeyang couldn't help but glare at him as he dropped several curse words before trying to calmly talk to Jacob in Korean, though it didn't work all that well as his annoyance kept shining through. "I thought he was at least able to read Jacob! What the hell have you brought me? Even I can't help someone who is too stupid to understand basic rules, he's too skinny, and too out of shape to dance with us, and if he can't read how is going to study scripts, or lyrics, or anything else for that matter? Is he good for anything outside of having his naked body posted in time square?"

 

"Hello, I don't know Korean, remember? English please, come one." Blaise waved his hand as if he thought the other two had forgotten he was there, though of course they hadn't since he was quite the attention whore, and finally

 

He turned back to Blaise and stared at him incredulously, "This is not _your_  apartment, this is a housing complex full of young men much more talented then your spoiled American ass will every be. You are here to clean up your own live and learn something besides prancing around in your underwear, so suck it up, we have work to do."

 

Jacob glanced between the men for a moment, his words calm, but protective, "Careful with him, I'm not quite sure how he's going to adjust." He answered back in Korean, knowing Blaise would simply sneer at his words. He looked up at the boy he'd been working with for just over under half a decade and gave a thin smile, nodding to him as he spoke.

 

Blaise ignored Jacob's foreign words, instead letting his eyes wander along the asshole that was apparently the welcoming committee. His fitted t-shirt left little to the imagination, the lean muscles underneath obvious, if he wasn't such a dick Blaise would have loved to take that shirt off for him, since he seemed to be in the way, and suddenly he couldn't help but wonder if the rumors about Korean men were true, with a body like that he had a funny feeling that they weren't. Running his eyes lazily back up to Taeyang's face he shrugged, "My reputation, by the way, is just that, a public reputation, sure a bad one, but still. You're never met me before, and yet you're already made judgments about me from the things you're read. You know most of those authors have also written articles about how JFK's brain was cryogenically frozen and launched into space, oh and did you know that the current US president is a lizard man? Informative stuff. As for my talents, why do you think I'm here? I _don't_ prance, and Calvin Klien dumped me because of a rumor that wasn't even actually true. I can't do anything except look really sexy naked, so I'm here to learn something, obviously." He muttered asshole under his breath, just as Taeyang turned to Jacob.

 

"Thanks Jacob, the diva can carry his own bags from now on. Have a good day." Taeyang nodded to the man, ignoring Blaise's stare as Jacob let go of his bag gently, setting it next to Blaise, "What? Hey! He can't tell you what to do, only I can do that!" Jacob just gave him a silent smile before leaving them alone.

 

"Get your stuff and come on princess, we need to meet the guys at the studio, we have practice this afternoon and you still need to register at the school." Without offering his help Taeyang walked into the bedroom he'd formerly had to himself, he glared at the pile of hideous designer luggage and gestured to the small dresser and closet Blaise had. "That's yours, not sure where you're going to put all that shit, but make it work, I like a clean room, and you have half an hour before we out, I suggest you use it wisely." Throwing himself on his own bed he pulled the headphones that had been around his neck back over his ears and his play on his phone as he tried to drown out the boy's next words.

 

Blaise didn't give him any to block out though as he stared silently at the room he had, at the room he was _sharing_. He didn't even have to share a wing of his house when he'd lived with his parents just outside New York City, and the penthouse he'd had in LA was easily twice or three times the size of this apartment. How was he supposed to put everything he'd brought away, and not just that, how was he going to do it by himself. Grinding his teeth he glared at Taeyang, determined to prove him wrong, he wanted to wipe that stupid sneer right off the man's face.

 

 

It took a bit of tetris, but eventually he was able to hang, fold, and tuck, what he could. Some things were folded and set on top, his black sequined jewelry box was sitting closed pushed against the wall on the dresser, and he had a stack of hats on the shelf above the closet bar that reached up to the ceiling. Accessories were organized, for now, and about half of his collection of sunglasses hung in a clear organizer that almost looked like a shoe rack. His shoes sat in the bottom of the closet, and he was ready to sleep for  _days_. How did Jacob do all of this every time, he was officially a wizard, that was the only explanation. Pulling his shirt off he laid it on the side of his already made, if slightly wrinkled, twin bed. At least Jacob had done something for him, he didn't even know how to make a bed, but he could straighten it. Stretching his arms above his head he stole a glance at Taeyang, his skin was naturally pale, but the slight tan made him shades darker than Blaise

 

Taeyang lay on his bed listening to his newest mix and meditating on ways to get rid of the intruder as soon as possible. He already hated the obnoxious spoiled brat and had to work to remember why he’d agreed to be the kid’s new mommy. Opening his eyes he watched the boy piece his things together, no easy task with so much clothing, and he wondered if the boy really appreciated anything he had. Taeyang had worked so hard to get where he was, when he’d been discovered his family all seven of them lived in a small two bedroom apartment his parents working double shifts to put food on the table everyone attended school in hand me downs from the local church. His career had changed that and he saved and scraped never squandered his money in a drive to never have to see his parents scraping by and giving up food for themselves to feed the kids. This was too important for the kid to screw up and this solo album was his big chance. When the boy removed his shirt Taeyang quickly closed his eyes once more as he thought,  _well at least he isn’t a pig too_.

 

After changing clothes he was ready to go again, this time in tight black jeans, a white v-neck, and a black sweater over. "I thought you said thirty minutes, or have you decided to take a nap." Blaise snapped his fingers in front of Taeyang's face and folded his arms, it had been forty-five, but being fashionably late was his specialty.

 

Feeling the presence near him Taeyang opened his eyes and glared at the kid. "Took you long enough princess." He said pulling his own shirt over his head and folding it before heading to his dresser. Taking out a screen print tank top her pulled it over his head grabbing his black cap and white jacket he headed toward the door. Without a word he did not look back. When he got to the door and put his shoes on he cursed in Korean and gritting his teeth said, “In the future we leave our shoes here at the door.”

 

Blaise was sure Taeyang had meant it as an insult, but he couldn't help but smirk slightly at the fact that he'd called him a princess, Nathan and Collin called him princess. His boyfriend and his former manager had a variety of nicknames for him, including but not limited to princess, diva, and pumpkin, though he was pissed at Collin, he and Nathan were currently not speaking, and he claimed to be just the opposite of sentimental, he still liked the familiarity of the name, even with the venomous tone. Grabbing his Louis Vuitton sunglasses, messenger bag, black Gucci fedora, and white Gucci scarf, complete with BW monogrammed onto the corner, he followed Taeyang out of the room, buckling his vintage LV watch around his wrist as he almost ran right into the man in front of him, who had bent down to slip on his shoes, which sat by the front door. Blaise raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow and asked curiously, "Why?" After Taeyang had yelled at him again, but he didn't get an answer, as the man was already out the door and off in the direction of the lobby.

 

Blaise pulled his phone and and checked for messages before he left, he'd expected a few at least, form his friends in LA and New York, they all knew he'd gone to Korea to go to school, but there was nothing, the only alerts he had were some particularly rude tweets, there wasn't even anything from his mother. His face fell slightly, but he shook his head, putting his phone into his bag and hurrying to catch up with Taeyang. He certainly wasn't going to text Nathan, if the idiot really believed all the rumors around him than Nathan didn't deserve him, right? He wasn't completely sure, and even his mother hadn't texted him since he'd gotten out of rehab the day before yesterday, but it didn't matter right now, he was starting over, right? He was trying at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! I'll be posting an update soon! Feel free to comment if you see any errors, or if you liked it, or if you hated it, whatever makes you happy.


	2. Learn Something New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're relationship isn't off to a _great_ start, and neither Blaise nor Taeyang seem to be interested in actually fixing it.

Taeyang stood just inside the elevator, blocking the sensor to keep it on their floor, his phone out, checking messages from security. Blaise finally caught up to him, but he didn't look up, only slid back so that the doors would close. "So I got a message from security, it seems there are a few fans outside, please keep your mouth shut and your eyes down till we are in the car. In South Korea our reputation are extremely important, and I need you not to ruin mine."

 

Blaise's emotions were swirling, but as he stepped into the elevator behind Taeyang he steeled his expression "Fans I can handle, flying underwear is better than paparazzi." He shrugged, following Taeyang out of the elevator and across the lobby. Taeyang simply pulled the brim of his hat down and nodded to the fans along the way, while Blaise was somewhat shocked that that weren't screaming obscenities, or maybe they were, he couldn't understand them. When the man had said a  _few_  fans he hadn't been expecting an army of screaming girls, along with boys, grown men and women, a few questionables, and even one or two people in full body costumes that looked like they belonged in a theme park. What were grown ass men doing holding up painted signs and asking for autographs? Blaise's jaw dropped slightly and he walked as close to Taeyang as he could without actually touching him as the security shuffled them into the waiting black Escalade with darkly tinted windows. Taeyang was simply smirking at him, but he didn't notice yet, instead he was pushed closer to the musician as a member of his security team slid into the car next to him.

 

"If you really want to learn about your inner talents you are at the right school, but it's hard work. Do you think you can handle hard word princess, I mean, really you might chip a nail." Blaise wrinkled his nose at Taeyang's jab, but the man didn't even look at him, or change his annoyed, condescending tone, though the words sounded _almost_  like advice, almost.

 

Blaise leaned forward to under the guise of looking out Taeyang's window, instead studying his expression, he looked like he was already fed up with Blaise. "That depends on what the outcome will be, hard work has to be worth it." He thought of rehab, it was an interesting roller coaster and a revolving door of total assholes, but he'd made it through it, even though he still wished he could smoke something every now and then and forget everything, or at least not care for a little while.

 

Still Taeyang kept his head down, his phone apparently much more interesting than the boy beside him. "It's best for the reputation to always seem accessible and available, but still detached, it keeps the girls screaming." He said quietly, finally looking up from his phone to watch the fans outside the school gates, he rolled the window halfway down and smiled, really smiled, Blaise couldn't help but stare at him, how had he switched so fast from irritated to bright and warm, the American was afraid he was going to get whiplash with this bipolar pop star.

 

"Boys too, obviously." Blaise answered quietly, sitting back in his chair as he switched his attention from Taeyang and his fans to the school in front of them.

 

Stepping out of the car Taeyang swiftly lead Blaise to the doors and walked in assuming the kid was smart enough to at least follow him. Blaise easily kept up with him, if only for the height that he had over the man. They went to the admission office and he stopped, politely bowing and greeted each person desks in Korean before referring to the blonde with him, "So this is the companies new pet project, some idiot underwear model with no talent and a rich mommy we are supposed to teach him to be something besides a drain on society." he said rolling his eyes before saying in English, "This is Blaise he’s a new student can you please set him up for a test battery tomorrow see where his levels are in all subjects, he’ll need a translator or the tests to be in English for now." It was quick as he switched up to Korean with a short laugh, "Careful though apparently even when we print the rules and instructions in clear English he cannot follow them." Blaise was halfway lost as Taeyang switched back and forth, but he tried to listen to what he could understand. "Blaise this is Aki Nanami, she is from Tokyo, here to learn to be an idol as well she’s in the office part time she’ll help you set up a schedule for tests tomorrow.” Looking back at her she said in Korean, "Sorry he’s a lost cause but lets try for the sake of trying."

 

Blaise was glad he'd said her name, because all he'd gotten off of the name card on her desk were some squiggly lines, he was quick to cover up his own confusion with a smooth smile, "I can ace any test you throw at me sweetheart, all I need is your number." He grinned as a faint blush crossed her cheeks, but it quickly disappeared and he was faced with the picture of professionalism again. His schedule was printed and grimaced at it, but didn't complain aloud, instead Taeyang was already whisking him off to practice, irritated once again, this time about how he was late for the first time.

 

Blaise felt out of place the moment they stepped into the dance studio, while Taeyang seemed to relax, taking his place easily and falling into to step with the others, this was something they were expecting him to try at least, see if he could do it, see if he could learn, was it even possible? After a while the music stopped, much to his dismay, he was so wrapped up in watching the men dance that he hadn't even realized they were now looking at him. He got a glare, an indifferent expression, a small wave, and a grin from each of the men respectively, it was strange, they actually seemed to like each other, really get along, not like the icy, competitive, work relationships he usually had. Blaise had taken a seat on the floor to watch them, but every time he looked away his eyes fell on Taeyang again, his slightly baggy tank top was sticking to his body with sweat, it really wasn't fair just how attractive the man was, with an attitude like that.

 

Elbowing his boyfriend in the ribs lightly Jiyong folded his arms and nodded to the blonde boy that had come in with their friend, "We should go and meet Youngbae's new charge, don't you think?" He said with a smirk, though Seunghyun looked less than amused by his antics, but followed him nonetheless. "Hey there cupcake." He said with a grin, his English lilted, but understandable, chuckling when the boy looked up in surprise he followed where his eyes had been and shook his head, offering him a hand up. "There are several people here who would love to be looked at like that, but Tae is definitely not one of them." He pulled the boy up and grinned back at Seunghyun, "I think I've found someone taller than you love." But the man wasn't looking at him, instead he was watching the white boy carefully.

 

"I'd look beyond our apartment however kid, everyone here is either taken or straight." Seunghyun laced his fingers into Jiyong's before nodding his head to the boy politely, "I'm Choi Seunghyun, and this is our leader, and all around hard ass, Kwon Jiyong." His words would have sounded teasing, if it weren't for the serious tone

 

Blaise smiled at them and looked back at Taeyang, "I have a funny feeling that he isn't so sure what he is, but maybe that's just wishful thinking. It doesn't matter for now though, the last time I checked, I was taken." He'd meant it as a joke, but his own words made his expression darken for half a second before he plastered back on his winning smile.

 

Taeyang kept his eyes purposefully down, doing his best to ignore Blaise though he felt eyes on him, instead he texted his best friend, and rumored girlfriend, instead. She was always a good distraction, and usually knew exactly what to say to him to make him feel better. He messaged his mother as well, making sure the last check he'd sent them had been enough. When Chiffon called them back up he jumped, his mind had been set on so many different things he hadn't even realized the choreographer had spoken to them, but the question was still in his mind, was a fully funded solo album, and tour, really worth the trouble? The answer eluded him.

 

Blaise was introduced to the woman running the practice next, her curly bob bouncing with every step, with the tips a lighter, creamy coffee colour the just a shade lighter than her skin. When she switched form Korean to English he was surprised by her accent, obviously Jersey, but how had she ended up here? "Don't even think about sitting back down sweetheart, you're here to learn something, and start over, right? Sitting on that floor while the others work isn't going to teach you anything." Her smile was bright and warm, making him feel more welcome than any of the others so far, but he wasn't sure how far he was going to get dancing with them. She put him in the back, behind Taeyang and a man who he hadn't met yet with short black hair, and nodded to him, "Obviously you don't need to learn the placements, but just try to pick up the moves on this one as they learn them, it's new, so technically you're all learning together." Right, Blaise was sure that was exactly the case, but he couldn't turn back now, he could at least try to have fun making a fool of himself.

 

It was only a few hours, but it felt like forever by the time they were finished, Blaise had of course been behind the others, but overall Chiffon had him convinced that he'd actually made progress compared to what she'd expected. Blaise frowned down at the thin layer of sweat that was currently ruining his shirt and wrinkled his nose in frustration before looking up to listen to Chiffon, who had just switched back to English for him again. "You're excused from rehearsal while you test for placement at the school, but when they're finished I expect you to show up ready." He agreed, and finally they were done, back in the car, and heading home.

 

Blaise sat behind Jiyong, who was whispering something into Seunghyun's ear, and again next to Taeyang. He had yet to be introduced to the other two men in the car, but even as his eyes were drawn to the grumpy man beside him he couldn't help but study the others too. They were almost _too_ attractive, and though he was used to being surrounded by beauty this was kind of intimidating. Finally the man beside him introduced himself at Daesung, his smile kind, curious, but his English wasn't as clear as Jiyong's had been, at least he was understandable. The one next to Jiyong was Seungri, who didn't talk to him, but instead through Daesung, he was curious if he didn't speak English, or just didn't want to.

 

Again there were fans outside, though it was quieter the noise picked up substantially when the men began to step out of the car, smiling and nodding politely as they hurried into the building. His mind wandered to what the American tabloids would think of fans actually liked the stars they cheered for, instead of constantly wishing they'd mess up just so a new article could be released about them.

 

Taeyang opened the door to their apartment without looking at Blaise, simply reminding him in irritation, " _Shoes._ " Before heading into their shared room to shower and change for dinner, which was apparently a public affair this evening. Blaise did as he was told, slipping them off before following Taeyang, intent on confronting him about his attitude. Instead the man stripped completely without sparing him another glance, grabbing a towel and heading into the bathroom, forgetting to close the door after so long without a roommate. Blaise stared after him, but quickly pulled his eyes away, knowing he'd only be more angry if he caught him staring, instead he shed his own shirt, folding it and setting it on the edge of the bed before leaning back on it. The mattress wasn't the most comfortable he'd been in, but it would have to do for now, and soon he felt the time difference catching up with him, before he could do much about it he was drifting off, his mind calm, but stuck on his new babysitter.

 

Taeyang glanced out the shower door, feeling eyes on him, but there was nothing, just the open bathroom door, he'd have to start remembering to close that, keep what little privacy he had now that he was sharing not only his apartment but his room with a complete stranger. Blaise was spread out on his bed fast asleep, he looked harmless this way, how could someone so small cause that much trouble? He wasn't muscular, his arms were so thin Taeyang was sure they'd break like a twig, his face was thin as well, almost so much as to make him look ill. Suddenly looking away from the boy he shook his head, pulling out a pair of boxers from his drawer and slipping them on quickly before pulling the towel off and scrubbed it through his wet hair. He ventured another glance at his sleeping roommate before pushing the boy from his mind.

 

Blaise wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, but when his eyes fluttered open there was an angel standing before him, if angels were naked, Korean, made of solid muscle, and very short. Definitely an angel. It was an act of whatever deity was staring down at them that he'd woken up at that exact moment, the sunset was shining through their square window like heaven had put a spotlight on the Asian god that stood before him, and Blaise swore he could hear a chorus of Cherubs singing in the background, but that might have been the dream he'd woken up from.

 

His eyes slid down the toned back and arms, over his backside, and down his legs, before he realized he was turning. Slamming his eyes shut Blaise pretended to be asleep as Taeyang milled about, getting dressed before finally kicking the side of Blaise's twin size bed a little too hard. Blowing messy hair out of his eyes he frowned at the shorter man, though his eyes sparkled mischievously. "I'm up, I'm up!" Blaise called after him as he hurried out of the room. Glancing out the open door at Taeyang as he settled in front of his computer Blaise made a silent pact to find whatever stick was up his ass and remove it, it was supposed to be pleasurable, but not if you had it up there twenty four hours a day.

 

Sighing quietly Blaise grabbed a towel, shed the rest of his clothes, and jumped into the shower. He stood under the warm spray for longer than necessary, but he was still sleepy, and the gel in his hair needed to rinse before he could style it again. Finally stepping out he rubbed at his bleached, white blond hair with the fluffy towel as he walked back into his shared bedroom, not even sure what he was going to where. The wall that they shared with Jiyong and Seunghyun thumped in time with a low bass, but Blaise swore he could hear a different thump that wasn't quite in time with the music. Grinning he let out a quiet laugh and set to work pulling on plum coloured linen pants and a quarter sleeve black sweater before heading back into the bathroom the quickly style his hair. A pair of Prada, white leather, boat shoes matched the white double breasted jacket, the slightest hint of eyeliner and a thin white ear cuff with a dangling jade pentacle set off the outfit, and finally Blaise left the room.

 

Taeyang wasn't nearly as dressed up, black jeans, another graphic t-shirt, though it was fitted this time, he was obviously intent on ignoring him, headphones shoved over his ears again, his eyes focused on the computer in front of him. Blaise rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator to find sports drinks, water, fresh produce, lunch meat, and a few other healthy options. What kind of college students were these crazy people? He pursed his lips and grabbed a bottle of water, twisting the top with a whispered crack and leaned backward again the breakfast bar, smirking as he looked from Taeyang, busy on his computer, to Jiyong and Seunghyun, exiting their room and visiting in hushed tones, from the blush growing over the taller's ears Blaise was almost sure of what he and his partner had been up to, good for them, at least not everyone here was a stick in the mud like Taeyang.

 

 

Engrossed in his music Taeyang did not even notice that everyone had reconvened in the Living Room until Jiyong tapped his shoulder and grinned. Pulling his headphones off he stopped the playback and glared at the tall blonde in the kitchen, before turning to Jiyong. "So princess is going to grace us with his presence is he?" Getting up from his stool he grabbed a hoodie and threw it on ignoring the blush that the oldest seemed to have suddenly sprung, he rolled his eyes at him. Really who in this apartment did not know those two were an item, seriously if Seunghyun thought he was fooling anyone then he was the biggest fool of all.

 

Jiyong called the attention of the rest of the guys and they headed for the door. Slipping his feet into his favorite well-worn shoes Taeyang headed toward the elevator, speaking in Korean with Daesung as he walked. Once the sliding doors closed he turned to Blaise and switched to English, "Like I said before we don’t wear shoes in the house, try to respect our culture, you're here to learn, so try not to be rude, got it?" Then turning back to Jiyong he glared at how amused he seemed and quickly said in Korean,"Seriously, if you find him so amusing why don’t you make him your new pet, and while you're at it try house breaking him."

 

Blaise folded his arms and glared right back at Taeyang, "And here I thought you were just germaphobic." He answered sarcastically, earning cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh from Daesung. He smiled sweetly at the man who seemed to hate him and continued, "Actually, the shoes are brand new, so I expected it not to matter, but your advice is noted." Sending him a wink as he switched to Korean to talk to Jiyong he got a grin from the leader and they both laughed, putting Taeyang in an even more sour mood, right up until they walked outside to see fans again.

 

There were more people outside this time, didn't they have anything better to do? The group with him ate up the attention, making Blaise think that maybe the company they worked for let them crowd the building on purpose just to fuel the artists' egos.

 

The car pulled up to the restaurant and they were ushered out, along with a group of girls from a car in front of them, just like the group he was with they were stunningly beautiful, unfairly so, and as Taeyang hurried over to take the hand of one of them Blaise couldn't stop a glare in her direction.

 

Pulling Luna close to his Taeyang leaned over to whisper in her ear and smiled, "It's good to see you, how was your day?" He asked, trying not to laugh as she answered with a blushing wink, making sure the fans outside the restaurant saw the whole display.

 

"Just rehearsals, I was hoping to see Yeon Soo tonight, but as always, work comes first."

 

Taeyang patted her hand with a smile and led her through the doors of the restaurant as the crowd swooned behind them, "How is he these days? Well, I hope. Maybe we can find a way for you to see him soon." She nodded, chuckling, but shifted her gaze to the blonde boy currently sitting between Amber and Sulli.

 

Sliding into the chair Taeyang had pulled out for her Luna grinned and looked back at her friend, "So that's your new roommate, he's really cute."

 

Taeyang grimaced and shook his head, "Not cute. Rich, spoiled, irritating, but definitely not cute. He's a kid whose had everything handed to him his entire life, and now if I can babysit and keep his ass off drugs my solo album is completely paid for and sponsored, sure I could have done it on my own with our company, but it would have taken another couple of years, and now it's already being put into the works."

 

Blaise distracted himself from his roommate by getting to know the girls around, they were all curious about the groups new friend, and though two of them weren't as fluent in English, the other two had been born in the states, which was a welcome surprise. He was introduced to all of them, except the one stuck to Taeyang, and had one of the girls giggling as he told them a story from when his boarding school in New York.

 

"Hey, princess, this is Luna, now that you're  _acquainted_  with her friends, they're F(x), assuming you haven't heard of them. If could not make an ass of yourself that would be great."

 

Blaise glared at him momentarily before reaching over to Luna and taking her hand, kissing the back of it with a smile, "Pleasure, I'm Blaise Warwick, it's wonderful to meet you." The grumpy glare he could feel from Taeyang made his smile that much brighter.

 

Having had enough of the smarmy charm Taeyang finally said rather more harshly than he needed to, "So, Blaise, are you intending to learn anything about South Korea, our culture, our language, maybe at least try to pay attention in class or rehearsal? Or is this just another rich boy game to you, like rehab and the parties before that?" He’d read the tabloids he knew what this young man was really about and he hated how everyone loved him, how even he was starting to not hate him.

 

The rude question wiped the smile off of Blaise's face as he took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from yelling at the man, "If, Taeyang, it was a game, I'd be gone already, and I'd be more willing to learn your language and culture if you were more help than hindrance, like sweet Jiyong, he's already offered to help me with my Korean."  He blew a kiss at the red haired man who was just whispering something undoubtedly inappropriate in his lover's ear. Jiyong grinned and nodded, turning to Taeyang as he played absently with the palm of Seunghyun's hand. "And rehab sure as  _fuck_  wasn't a game, I'd love to see you go through all of that and come out as cheerful as you are right now." He'd meant it as a joke, but the force behind his words was probably a little too harsh as he unlocked his phone and checked his messages he knew weren't there.

 

Taken aback by the venom in the boy’s words TaeYang held a steady gaze at him. Did this kid seriously blame him for his lack of respect to the culture he’d agreed to join. "Hindrance?" he asked irritation coloring his face, "I tried to tell you and you still disrespected, you rich American’s are all alike." His anger seethed along the surface but Luna’s fingers along his leg took him by surprise and he calmed at her touch. His anger only rising again as the upstart blew a kiss at Jiyong.

 

Seunghyun’s eyes darkened at the exchange his hand instinctively claiming his boyfriend's under the table as the whole group but Blaise pretended to smile glamorously as if nothing was amiss. His jealously quickly subdued by Jiyong’s fingers on his hand, he was being silly he reminded himself, they’d discussed the new guy already and Jiyong had been very open in his belief that the boy wanted only their collective friendship and help and not a relationship with him. Having settled his lovers worries Jiyong grinned at Blaise encouragingly, before his gaze flicked to TaeYang he knew his friend was having his own struggles and he hoped this new addition would help him find his way.

 

The exchange only annoyed TaeYang further and when Blaise started in about rehab everything he’d read on the internet about the infamous bad boy resurfaced in his mind. "I’ll never have to go through rehab, I haven't been raised a spoiled brat with too much free time on my hands.” Taking a breath, he was just about to rant on about Blaise’s many conquests and the hearts he left in his infamously evil wake when Luna touched his leg in a quiet soothing gesture.

 

"Don't be so hard on the kid Youngbae." She said quietly in Korean before switching the English as she turned to Blaise. "Please don't misunderstand Youngbae, he is rather defensive. He looks for offense where none is meant, but he's really very sweet, loyal, and kind, and he loved his fans to a fault, surely his treatment of the smallest gesture by them will convince you of that." 

 

Blaise was surprised, not by her defense of her friend, but her English, it was smooth, though obviously accented, and more than professional. Crossing his legs under the table he laced his fingers together and sat them on the smoothly finished wood gently, "He looks for offense where there is none, until he asks for it." He said, pursing his lips as he turned to the girl to his left as she quickly started to help him with his menu, Amber, that was her name, she was different, in fact she looked more like the male idols than the female ones, though she was very pretty. "You're all so helpful, really, I know about four words in Korean, and they all have to do with mixing drinks." She grinned at him and provided a wonderful distraction through dinner. She was from California, near Los Angeles, making conversation even easier.

 

Luna smiled at her friend as she tried her best to calm him down, talking quietly in Korean, "Maybe you and your new protege can learn from one another. Maybe he doesn’t even know the insults he’s accidentally given or what our culture is. Isn’t it your job my darling to teach him?" He was quick to argue with her, keeping his expression neutral as they talked, until finally he relented, unable to disagree with her for long. To his chagrin he promised to at least try to be more patient with the kid, as long as he actually began to try and learn something.

 

With dinner over they led the girls back out to their cars, Amber and Sulli again stuck on either side of Blaise, with Luna hanging on Taeyang's arm. He kissed her cheek and opened the door of her car before giving her a hand in and waving goodbye to the other girls. In their own car he was again pressed again the new comer, and rather than keep his promise to Luna he glowered at him, pulling his headphones on and turning up the music on his phone too loud, trying to ignore the leg brushing his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> As usual drop a comment if you liked it, if you hated it, if I need to correct anything.


	3. A Fresh Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaise's recent past starts trying to catch up with him, while Jiyong and Seunghyun start trying to pull Blaise out of his funk. Jiyong trusts him and wants to help, and while Seunghyun isn't as sure of the boy's intentions he decides he wants to help as well.

Glaring at the man who seemed to be suddenly causing chaos in his normally planned out and organized life Youngbae sighed as the elevator doors closed, he'd rushed past the fans outside their building, while his friends stayed to distract from his hurried exit, Blaise had just stepped through the front doors when he started moving up. _He knows, the brat knows he holds my entire career in the palm of his hand, and he's toying with me._ Cursing under his breath he held the phone in his hands tighter and hurried out of the elevator and towards their apartment, unlocking it quickly and heading straight for his room. He couldn't stand people like Blaise, born into privilege they didn't appreciate, holding it over people's heads like something they should be proud of, he probably hadn't actually worked for anything in his entire life, everything was just handed to him. His dark mood made him miss his family, they'd always been so close, his career had been hard on them though they'd still been proud. Falling onto his bed he dialed his mother's number, it was late, she was probably sleeping or almost, but he knew she would help, she was a friendly voice,  a voice to remind him of why he was working so hard, remind him why he'd signed up to take care of the kid in the first place.

 

As he rested his head back on his hands Youngbae thought of his mother's words, she put his turbulent mind at ease, yet gave him even more to think about, was he really driven to be a solo artist because he wanted more for his family, or did he truly love what he did?  He pictured the faces of his fans and the sounds of the crowds when they took a stage, then thought about the way he’d treated them tonight and was ashamed. Why did he let that Blaise kid cause his mind such distress? It was stupid and it was coloring his treatment of his fans.Closing his eyes, he tried to sort out what he needed to doto make this all work. He had to find a way not to let theyounger man annoy him but everything about himannoyed Taeyang, he had no respect for anyone his presswas terrible, he was haughty and uncaring, and the factthat he also felt vulnerable when near him just madeTaeyang even more angry. Finally putting on hisheadphones he turned the music up loud and closed hiseyes hoping tomorrow would be a better day.

 

* * *

 

Blaise glanced back at the others, still smiling for pictures and shaking hands, Taeyang had kept his head down and sped toward the elevator, leaving his friends and Blaise behind. Watching the doors close he opted for the stairs instead, they'd probably be quicker anyway since the elevator had to go up, then come back down to get him. Taking the stairs slowly he paused at the door to their floor and pulled his phone out of his pocket to read a rushed text from his father letting him know he wasn't going to be able to make it to see him in two weeks like he'd planned, there was no surprise there, in fact he'd expected the change of plans, but he'd also expected a more clever excuse as well. He checked a message from Jacob as well, hitting the call button rather than texting him back.

 

Picking up on the second ring Jacob answered with a lazy, "Hey kiddo, how was your first day?"

 

His easygoing question made Blaise want to slam his forehead against the barely painted wall, but instead he leaned against it, letting his normally perfect posture sag as he scoffed. "Well I've been scolded for stupid shit more times than I can count now, my roommate is hot, and a judgmental ass, and dad won't be joinging us for dinner on the eighteenth, but that's expected, I hadn't seen the man in months, now that I've dropped golden boy status it seems I'm pretty useless to him." He knew the reaction was dramatic, but he didn't feel like reigning in his emotions anymore. 

 

On the other side of the line Jacob sighed, "Well the silver lining is Chiffon said you did great at practice, seeing as it was your first time."

 

Blaise could hear the smile on the other side, but it wasn't enough to share,  "Yea I guess when it's not on tables I'm not too bad, but really I have got to get out of here. Is this some cruel and unusual punishment for letting my bad habits get found out, mom didn't care I was a druggy till it started getting into the tabloids, so this has got to be her way of getting back at me for, and I quote, ruining her family name." he gave a crude chuckle, but he could tell Jacob wasn't amused by his answer.

 

"You know she loves you, she's just trying to help, you have no idea how much she put into this for you." Of course he was talking about funding Taeyang's solo project, but Blaise had no idea that was happening.

 

"Right, she loves me when it suits her, and when it doesn't she ships off to live in some third world country with a bunch of wanna be rock stars."

 

"Blaise don't... " the rest of his words were cut off by a quiet ringing, someone else was calling him.

 

"One sec Jake, Nathan is calling me." he hadn't meant to sound so desperate as he switched the call, not even bothering to wait for Jacob to answer. "Hey." Blaise managed to quietly answer after he hit the accept button.

 

"Blaise." he said simply before clearing his throat, "It looks like you're famous again, just bouncing from star to star, right?" he sounded agitated, but Blaise had no idea what he was talking about this time.

"Nate, Nathan, what are you on about? Besides even if I was you said we were taking a break, not me." Putting force behind his words was more difficult than he'd though, Nathan still sounded like home.

 

"I'm here working to make sure my reputation isn't as fucked up as yours and you're hanging all over some guy who looks way to girly for your tastes." His phone beeped and he pulled it away from his face to see a picture of him and Amber arm in arm, his face close to hers as he said something to her quietly, the picture had a hot pink Q in the bottom right corner and Blaise new exactly where it was Nathan had found it.

 

"That's not even a guy!" He started, planning on finishing before Nathan cut him off.

 

"And that's better, I knew you were a little bicurious, but really?" Nathan yelled into the phone.

 

"Yes and you believe that picture because it came from such a reliable source! Every other rag has started to leave me alone, but Cassidy fucking Q just has to follow me halfway across the world to see if I'm behaving myself! For your information Amber is a friend, tha tpicture was taken less than two hours ago.  Go ahead and believe her over me, again. It'll be right in line with how you've acted this whole time, won't it?" Fuming Blaise took the phone and chucked it down the middle of the stairs, watching it as it fell four floors and hit the concrete floor beneath him, he could hear Nathan yelling at him up until the device slammed into the ground, before finally it was silent. Leaning against the wall again he frowned down at the broken phone, only now wondering when he was going to be able to get a new one.

 

Sliding down the cool wall Blaise ran a hands through his expertly styled hair, hot tears dripping silently down the smooth skin of his cheeks, no doubt ruining the little bit of makeup he'd decided to wear to dinner. Shaking his head he wiped at the tears before drawing his knees up to sit cross legged, resting his forehead in his hands and taking a deep breath. He'd screwed up his life in LA, and in New York, and the first few times he'd been featured in various gossip rags for the exclusive, extravagant, parties he'd thrown his manager had said that it was a great thing, the press was wonderful, it got your name heard, even if everyone already knew it. But who exactly wanted their name to be synonymous with sleeping with every legal celebrity in Beverly Hills? The men, and the women. He had Cassie to thank for that, and a seemingly unlimited steam of drugs that flew through his crowd faster than the laster gossip. He'd lost who he'd thought were his friends, his manager, his boyfriend, and his career, to his next high, but even after he'd gone through court mandated rehabilitation it was impossible to pick up the pieces that were left of his reputation. Everyone had taken a step away from him, including his mother, he was sure she'd had to bribe someone to accept him here, but she wasn't going to tell him who.

 

* * *

 

Their friends decided to take the elevator, but Jiyong was already dragging Seunghyun towards the stairs, they'd be empty by this time he was sure of it, and more than once they'd proved to be a moment of privacy for the pair. The heavy door closed silently and the elder gave in, pushing his leader against the wall firmly and pressing a kiss to his lips. Jiyong ran gave no resistance as he slid his arms around Seunghyun's neck, toying with his hair gently. Breaking apart as a voice reached their ears they stepped farther from each other quickly, it was semi common knowledge that the roommates were together by now, but they were still sworn to be discrete or face consequences neither were interested in.

 

They stood frozen in place, only their hands still tangled together as they listened to the one sided conversation from a higher floor, "Is that the new kid?" Seunghyun asked in a whisper, his lover rose an eyebrow and glanced up, though he couldn't see anyone, "Sounds like him, but who is he talking to?" Sharing a quick glance a nervous shiver ran down Seunghyun's spine, "What if he's just here to, I don't know, spy on us or something? What if he's here to report back to someone, get us into trouble?" Jiyong put a finger to his lips as he strained to hear the words from above them.

 

_"Right, she loves me when it suits her, and when it doesn't she ships off to live in some third world country with a bunch of wanna be rock stars."_

"Who is he calling wanna be rockstars?" Seunghyun asked irritably, annoyed at the America, for his attitude, as well as his interruption of the few moments of privacy they were allowed. "He's a spy, I swear." He muttered, dropping his voice quieter as Jiyong motioned for him to be quiet again.

 

Jiyong noted the sudden change in tone as he heard Blaise answer another call, his voice turning sweet, sad, and a more than little desperate as he picked up with a single word. "Boyfriend." He whispered matter-of-factly , "Definitely boyfriend." They listened in silence for a moment, Seunghyun's fingers moving smoothly over the palms of his hands as he tried to concentrate on Blaise's words. "Who is Cassidy Q?" He asked quietly, looking at his own boyfriend as they tried to figure out what Blaise was talking about.

 

"Not sure, but I say let's stay out of her path." Suddenly the voice was heated and yelling, the men both jumped as the phone landed with a crash just a few feet away from them.

 

Exchanging another glance with the older Jiyong scooped up the phone and pulled him up a few steps, "We should tlak to him, he sounds like he needs a friend hyung."

 

Seunghyun disagreed silently, still convinced Blaise was there to ruin them, but he followed anyway. "Fine, but at the first sign of betrayal I will do whatever I have to do in order to get rid of him, I'm not losing you because of some kid." 

 

Jiyong shook his head at him as they reached the landing where Blaise sat, his head in his hands as he cried quietly. "Not the best way to treat such a nice phone." Seunghyun said quietly, his voice gentle, though he wasn't doing the best job of masking the distrust on his face. "It's difficult to get one that nice, and in English, you might be forced to learn Korean after all."

 

Blaise whipped his head up and made eye contact with Seunghyun first, shrinking away from his slightly glare before dropping his gaze to Jiyong. The older man's expression was guarded, but his words were soft, as if he was trying to keep from upsetting him. "I-" His voice cracked a bit and he cleared it before starting again, "I'll figure it out, or just learn Korean..." He shrugged, looking down at the shattered screen of his phone.

 

Kneeling down next to him Jiyong smiled at Blaise, he could feel the tension from Seunghyun after he'd pulled away from him, but he was calm, patting the boy on the knee as he finally looked up at them. "Moving to a third world country and being forced to live with a bunch of wanna be rock stars is probably better than being treated like that I'd think, but of course, I could be wrong." He felt Seunghyun's presence close behind him, but he kept his eyes on Blaise. The kid was barely an adult, too young to have to deal with the problems he was having now, self inflicted or otherwise.

 

Feeling his cheeks heat Blaise kept his eyes down as Jiyong quoted him verbatim, "I- Uhm... I didn't meant that- I mean, I did but- I was exaggerating, you guys are amazing- I just don't really... fit..." He trailed off, not sure how to explain himself without sounding like more of an ass than he already did.

 

Watching Blaise quietly as he stuttered out an answer Jiyong shook his head, as he tried to get the boy to look up at him, "Maybe you just started out of the wrong foot with some of us." He glanced at his partner, who had his arms folded over his chest, silent again. "Of course you don't fit, how could you? We all speak far less English than you, and your Korean is terrible, no offense love." Seunghyung muttered something behind him, but he chose to ignore it, knowing Blaise wouldn't understand anyway.

 

"You care to talk about it?" He asked quietly, pulling his hand back into his lap as he watched Blaise with a worried expression, "I hear I'm a pretty good listener, but if you are going to speak only English you might have to explain something things." He added a smile, trying to cheer the boy up, "My English is definitely better than your Korean, but certainly not up to par with an American."

 

Blaise smiled bitterly and shook his head, "Oh I'm sure it'll be online tomorrow, if you want the summarized version the bitch made her goal in life to ruin mine, I guess breaking up with her little brother halfway through high pissed her off." He let out a quiet chuckle, wiping under his eyes to catch any marks that might have made their way there. 

 

Both men were somewhat lost in Blaise's explanation, but they tried to keep up, even as Jiyong looked at him slightly confused, "What will be online? Who's the bitch? Who did you break up with?" His English was hard to keep up with, and he knew that the pair had stopped being as careful in this building, Jiyong understood Seunghyun's worry that Blaise was only there for information, but he seriously hoped he was wrong.

 

Rather than answering him Blaise continued on his own, "But hey, you know, I guess I'm officially single now, you think Taeyang will notice?" His attempted grin looked more like a grimace as more tears obscured it and he was forced to blink them away.

 

His comment made Jiyong laugh shortly and Seunghyun choke in surprise, "Taeyang? Seriously?" Seunghyun's words were pointed at Jiyong, in Korean so that Blaise wouldn't understand, "Is he just looking for a fight?" His tone wasn't angry, more curious, and confused.

 

Jiyong shook his head, still laughing gently, "Don't get me wrong, the man is one of my best friends, but he's way to serious for a free spirit like us." He gestured to himself and the fairly serious looking man behind him, before pointing to Blaise as well, "And yourself of course."

 

"Besides," Seunghyun added quietly, in English, "I don't think you are his type. He likes girls."

 

Blaise raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged, "No straight man I've ever met is that organized, have you seen his bathroom? Also only Hispanic guys spend that much time in the gym, _and_ that much time on their hair, and are still straight, even then it's questionable, especially the Puerto Ricans, they throw one hell of a party though." At the confused looks on the couple's faces Blaise shook his head, "Never mind, I'm babbling."

 

Looking somewhat annoyed at Blaise's assumptions about his friend Seunghyun shrugged, "I spend that much time in the gym, and what's wrong with being organized?" He asked flatly, to an amused look from Jiyong, "This is different- Jiyong is special, I don't like all men, he's... Different." 

 

As his boyfriend stuttered out an answer Jiyong sent a conspiratorial wink to Blaise and said quietly, "Some always deny the truth, some accept it, but you and I, we learn to love them regardless. Don't we?" 

 

Seunghyun looked at Jiyong, who shrugged and smiled as the elder reached a hand out to both men to pull them up. "Come on, let's go make tea and talk somewhere more comfortable." He said when both of them were on their feet, releasing Blaise, but keeping his hand in Jiyong's as he ushered them through the door out of the stairwell. 

 

Jiyong smiled at Blaise again as the boy turned his phone over in his hand to survey the damage, "That one looks pretty much gone, we'll work on getting you a new one. Maybe you should lose most of the numbers that were in it too, make a fresh start?"

 

Seunghyun watched Blaise slip his shoes off as they entered the apartment, making Jiyong smile brightly as they did the same and headed for the kitchen. The elder started the tea while Jiyong pushed Blaise gently into a chair at their kitchen table and sat across from him, watching him expectantly, but trying not to force him to talk if he didn't want to.

 

Blaise took a deep breath, drawing designs in the table with his finger, "Cassie is the bitch I was talking about. Cassidy Q, she writes for a few American Tabloids, and has a really popular website, that's where she puts the stories that didn't make it into the magazines, the ones she didn't want to wait for an editor to approve, or that are just _too_  crazy. You'd think that kind of stuff would turn people off right? But no, they eat it up." Blaise rolled his eyes, remembering some of her more ridiculous theories, "Her younger brother is a year older than me, he brought me to prom my junior year, and I broke up with him a week after. She said I broke his heart, she was already a gossip journalist, she just decided to focus on me after that. Ruining my reputation is her favorite past time. She lost me more modeling jobs than I'd like to admit, and of course was the first person to report the story when... It doesn't matter..." He trailed off as Seunghyun sat next to Jiyong across the table.

 

"I think she had plenty of help from you ruining your reputation in the states." Seunghyun said quietly in Korean, Jiyong ignored him, choosing not to translate the comment.

 

As the pair pulled at Blaise they finally got him to open up a little bit more, about his time in rehab, the mistakes that had led up to it, the rumors that had ruined his career, the problems he'd created himself that he was still trying to fix. Jiyong felt sorry for him, he was lost, like a puppy, in need of a new family, and by the time their tea was poured had already donned himself the boys teacher, his goal, to teach Blaise basic Korean, language and culture, in hopes of helping his new friend not offend anyone else accidentally. Seunghyun didn't trust him as quickly, but he was slowly starting to lose the disdain he had for boy, he was stupid, oblivious, selfish, and had been let to run wild with enough money to sustain an ongoing drug addiction for two years, only stopped and offered help when the problem had gone public. Seunghyun didn't hate him, he felt bad for him, he wanted to help, but he also didn't want to take care of the kid like Jiyong, he wanted to make him work for it.

 

Blaise, surprisingly, offered to clean up as Jiyong began to lose the ability to keep his hands to himself, practically sitting in Seunghyun's lap now as he mumbled something in Korean, making the elder blush deeply while Blaise wasn't looking. Seunghyun bid goodnight to the boy and pulled Jiyong out of the room quickly before he started anything less than appropriate, promising Blaise he'd help him get a new phone within a day or two before leaving with his sleepy looking roommate. 

 

Blaise placed the tea pot and cups back into the cabinet they'd been pulled out of when he was done cleaning them and walked into his own room, letting his eyes rest of Taeyang, asleep on his bed. For once he didn't look irritated, his face wasn't pinched or scowling, it was peaceful. Blaise shook his head and went to wash his face quickly, running a bit of water through his hair as well to rinse the product out before towel drying it and leaving it a bleach blond mess. Laying out on his bed he debated whether or not finding a liquor store nearby would be a good idea, sure it was against the rules, but if he had to deal with another few days of his roommates moody attitude he'd need a shot or two. He knew the idea was shot, assuming none would speak enough English to help him anyway, and most likely he'd get lost. This was a fresh start, like Jiyong had said, so he should be behaving like an adult, right? He stared across the room at the sleeping figure on the other side and frowned, he wasn't the only one being immature, but he was sure that accusation would cause even more problems. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's mostly Jiyong, Seunghyun, and Blaise in this chapter! There will be a lot more of my angsty Taeyang in the next chapter! 
> 
> Also if you were wondering, his friends call him Youngbae, but he introduced himself to Blaise as Taeyang because he doesn't want it to be as personal, it's business. I wasn't sure if I explained that at all.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I don't know if I'll have another chapter up this week, but I'll try! Drop a comment or kudos if you liked it, or hated it, or I screwed something up, all the fun stuff.


	4. Nothing Is Coincidental

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for missing a week! My sister from Peru was here last week so we were super busy, and this week we have a hurricane coming, so I'll either be really busy, or I'll have another chapter up because I'll have nothing else to do! Best thing about Hurricane Matthew is the hurricane parties, Publix had rum on sale, what better way to celebrate than to make Hurricanes?!
> 
> ***
> 
> Chiffon gives great advice, if not slightly unhelpful, Blaise gets lost, and gets a new phone, Youngbae is more than a little confused about both himself and Blaise both.

Leaning over the scribbles and sketchy drawings in his notebook Youngbae massages his temples and sighed, this kid, this brat, was still stuck on his mind. He'd the house early that morning, tired of his charge already. It had been less than a week since the boy had fallen into their laps, and he was already regretting the decision to take him on. He didn't take anything seriously, there was always something to complain about, and Jiyong was simply enabling him, he wasn't helping, though he was trying to. It was irritating, and it made his work a pain to focus on, his eyes were on the choreography notes, his body sweat soaked from his run, his time in the gym, and now two hours of dancing, but his mind was still elsewhere. Standing up again he rolled his neck and closed his eyes, determined to shove Blaise from his mind. Turning the music higher he pushed up from where he was sitting on the floor and started again, only halfway through the song when the door slammed closed behind him. Spinning around quickly the idol smiled at who had interrupted him, he didn't really want to talk to anyone, but the intrusion could have been much worse.

 "You should really pay more attention babe, you might just get a stalker or something in here one of these days." Chiffon crossed her arms with a grin and kicked off from where she was leaning against the wall, she'd been watching for a while, watched him dance, watched him mentally beating himself about whatever was on his mind, until finally he'd slipped up and screwed up one of the moves he normally had perfected, except that rather than doing it wrong, she actually liked it more, perhaps they should change it.

 Taeyang regained his composure as he caught the water bottle she tossed to him and shrugged, "I don't worry about stalkers inside school grounds, too much security." He cracked open the bottle and leaned down to hit stop on his music, sighing as he stood back up.

 "I can't decide if I like this new angsty side of you or not, but I've got to say your getting what you wanted. Your entire project is paid for, wasn't that your goal?" Standing up straight she stretched to the side, loosening her muscles only to make herself look busy.

 Her friend frowned, rolling the bottle between his hands as he stared down at it rather than looking at her. "Angtsy?" He asked quietly, "I'm not sure that's really what I am, it's just... well..." He considered her words again, was he being angsty? "It is everything I was shooting for, but at what cost to me? To my reputation, to our reputation as a group, within our company, and on the outside? I've already seen speculation about him with us, I was under the impression that no one was even supposed to know he was here, but it's already on every site." He turned away from her and swiped a towel from his back to wipe his forehead. "Is it really my project if I'm selling out to a woman who just wants her drug addict man whore of a song to have an overpriced baby sitter that he doesn't listen to anyway?" Chiffon stayed quiet, making him glance at her, she nodded for him to go on, as if she knew he wasn't finished. "The boy doesn't even care, we're a joke to him, _I'm_ a joke to him. This is my life, my music, my family depends on me, both my family here and my family that I send as much money to as I'm allowed. I can't be his newest pet project, thrown off as soon as he finds a new vice. I can't let him ruin what I've built and helped build here!"

 Finally Chiffon stepped up to him and laid a hand on his shoulder, "What is the cost if you give up before it even gets hard? You've never turned down a challenge before, in all the years I've known you, I know you can't let yourself do it now. There may be more to this new project than meets the eye Youngbae. You're a joke to him because he doesn't know you, because you won't let him. You can see it on his face that he doesn't want to be here, even when he's enjoying himself, give him a reason to want to be here, to be serious about staying, about working harder. Teach him that your work isn't easy, and make him strive for it." Giving him an encouraging smile she sqeezed his shoulder gently and continued, "It's your life, your dream, and your job. I know you can do it, and so do your friend. They've got your back in this, you know they do, who knows, maybe this is exactly what's meant to happen, I've said before nothing is coincidental." 

 As always her advice was sound, but unhelpful in his current mindset, only adding to his frustration and irritation at Blaise's attitude. He followed Chiffon into the adjoining practice room and gave a slight smile to Jiyong, who grinned at him, but was currently in a heated conversation with his boyfriend, who couldn't stop laughing at whatever it was they were arguing about. No one tensed when he walked in, no one glanced at Blaise as if one or both of them were going to be angry or annoyed. In fact... Where was Blaise? He'd already taken his placement and entrance exams, his classes wouldn't be until after rehearsal, why wasn't he there yet? He tried to ignore his own curiosities, laced with boy annoyance, and worry, though he hadn't made it a point to be necessarily punctual since he'd gotten there, he'd at least been there before their practice had technically started, but as they all got ready to begin the blonde boy was still no where to be seen.

 It was almost noon when Blaise finally walked through the door, Chiffon called a short water break and Jiyong was already at Blaise's side. "Get lost muffin? You know we started at nine, right?" Blaise was actually dressed for the occasion this time, though his steel grey jeans were probably tight enough to cut off the circulation.

 Blaise tucked a piece of his surprisingly somewhat messy looking blonde hair behind his ear and bit his lip, "Nobody woke me up, and Daesung was talking about how he had walked yesterday, so I decided it would be a good idea since I haven't had time to get a new phone and I didn't have anyone to call anyway, the school isn't that far, I thought it would be fine."

 Jiyong laughed brightly as he reached up to style the boy's hair properly, "Next time ask security to call a car for you, I would have woken you up, but I expected one of them to!" He gestured to Seungri and Daesung, who were fighting over something through a vicious game of kai bai bo. "They barely left the house in time to get to practice, but we'll have to get you an alarm clock instead." 

 Seunghyun nodded to Blaise, more indifferent than angry, or even annoyed, his gaze was far from cold, and there was even a hint of a smile on his lips, but that was probably the way Jiyong was treating Blaise like a middle schooler rather than an adult, it was almost comical.

 Rather than acknowledging Blaise Youngbae turned away from the others, removing his damp tank top and running a towel through his hair, not even bothering to fix it as he sank to the floor, his irritation evident again. He glanced up from his phone only when he felt eyes on him, Blaise was talking to Jiyong, but his gaze was fixed on Youngbae, until he noticed the man looking up at him. Blaise's ears tinged red as he looked back to Jiyong, not seeing the glare from Youngbae, but knowing that it was there.

 In position once more Youngbae had to work to ignore the way the man directly behind him smelled. He lost his concentration more than once, making him furious both with himself, and with Blaise. Why did this man irritate and distract him as much as he did when everyone else seemed to like him so well? Watching Blaise in the mirror he struggled not to correct the man trying to dismiss him completely. Only cracking a smile that he quickly tried to hide when Blaise stumbled and fell, he’d been surprised at how well Blaise handled the fall and the laughter, but he tried not to show it.

 "Don't forget extra practice doesn't mean no classes!" Chiffon grinned evilly as they ended the session a few hours later. All but Blaise had school work in the afternoon, he'd start his on Monday, after his exams were processed. They didn't leave the school until almost ten that night, Blaise was leaning against the car to their surprise, smiling softly as he scrolled through something on the new phone in his hand. 

 Not wanting to risk getting lost again Blaise had planned on hanging out at the school until the others got out of class, only to be found by Jacob, who came prepared with both a brand new phone for him, already loaded with the contacts he would need, and dinner. It had been nice, to spend time more as friends than anything else, Jacob was really the closest family he had here, Jacob and his nanny from when he was a kid, Maria was closer to him and knew more about him than either of his parents. They all slid into the car, Jiyong, Daesung, and Seungri tired, but in high spirits, Seunghyun didn't look any different, and Taeyang just looked irritated, but Blaise had quickly come to see that as normal. 

 The car was quiet, Jiyong leaning into Seunghyun's shoulder, Daesung playing a game on his phone, Seungri dozing off against the window. Blaise was sure Taeyang was brooding next to him, but as he felt the man's head droop against his shoulder his phone slipped out of his hand, hitting the floor with a quiet thump. He was thankful for the darkness of the car, that none of the others could see his blush.

Why was he even blushing? Taeyang was a judgmental asshole, he barely put up with him, let alone like him, why was he reacting like this? Rather than moving to pick up his phone Blaise stayed put, determined not to wake up the man next to him.

 Sitting in the car next to Blaise on the way home Youngbae, exhausted from the week relaxed at the warmth of the leg pressed to his, confused as he listened to Blaise’s steady breathing, trying not to enjoy the scent of him he didn’t even realize it as he fell asleep. Waking up with a start he stared up at Blaise in surprise, his teeth clenched together as he realized where he'd been sleeping, and how comfortable he'd been.

 The look on Taeyang's face told him everything he needed to know as he woke up, he was disgusted, sure it was fine when his best friend did it, but that didn't make it normal, that didn't make it okay for him, Jiyong was different, that's what he had to be thinking, that's what Blaise could see on his face. Blaise had his phone in his hand and was up the walk as the others were caught by fans, leaving him thankfully to hurry up stairs and to their apartment by himself. Bypassing the living room Blaise dug into the inside pocket of the suitcase he'd put away under his bed, quickly locating what he was looking for and pulling it out. The silver flask, studded with a few real diamonds, felt heavy in his hand, the tequila in it sloshed silently as he bit his lip. It would calm his nerves, help him deal with the roommate who hated him, maybe help him sleep, it couldn't hurt too much, right? Groaning he tucked the flask under his bed and texted his parents, Jacob, and Maria, instead, unsurprised when only two of the four texted him back that evening, and neither were actually related to him.

 Unlike a few of the past nights the five were talking and laughing as they came into the apartment, everyone yawning and chatting about the day and for a moment Taeyang wondered what it would be like to move into an apartment with five strangers none of whom really spoke his language or shared his customs or heritage and his hatred for Blaise that had burned so brightly seemed to lessen slightly as a sense of sympathy replaced it. When he’d moved to Seoul as a child he’d known no one but at least he’d understood their customs and language, at least they had shared interests. His heart went out to his new roommate even as his head reminded him of what kind of person the young man was, He had to remind himself of what he'd read about the boy before he walked into their shared room in need of a shower and sleep.

 Blaise sat on his bed, his phone in hand, his expression slightly lost, he was still fully clothed, but his shoes Youngbae had noticed were still sitting in the entryway just like the rest of theirs. "New phone?" He asked casually as he stripped off the tank top and hoodie he was wearing and tossed them into the basket at the head of his bed. He wasn't sure what kind of answer he expected as he gathered his things to shower, he was still a little shocked he'd manage to speak to the younger man without any malice in his voice. 

 Blaise was scrolling through Cassie's website when Taeyang walked in, pulling down the notification bar in hopes of a text from his mother, but it was Jacob again, he couldn't help but wonder if it was the time different or if she was simply ignoring him, she hadn't even spoken to him since he'd gotten out of rehab, was she going to at all? It wasn't shocking when he read another article about himself, the picture was from the day before, Chiffon had given him a congratulatory hug when he'd told her he'd finally finished his placement exams, the headline was about his newest hookup. Why did it matter? Why couldn't she just leave him alone for once? No one cared anymore, no one should care anymore. Taeyang's words surprised him enough that he stuttered as his head shot up at the man, "Uhm- W-what?" He asked, before blinking out of his awkward stare, "Yea, I mean... My other one-" He cleared his throat and shrugged, "I broke my other one, Jacob brought me a new one today after practice." His words were quiet and reserved, unlike his usual flamboyant air.

 "Too bad, it was a nice phone, glad you got a new one though." Youngbae managed, carefully trying to sound polite. The normally over the top boy was so quiet Youngbae considered asking if he was alright, but was unsure how to do so, Blaise's Korean was non-existent as of yet, and his own English was severely lacking, so rather than risk more animosity between them he sent him a slightly smile and said quietly, "You did pretty good today kid." Before shutting the door to the bathroom and glaring at his own confused looking reflection. 

 Blaise's mind wasn't on his new phone, or on Taeyang's words, it was on the very next article on Cassie's website. _-Armani Model, Nathan Hawkins, Finally Leaves Blaise Warwick-_ He had no doubt that it would be a bad idea to read the article, but the video playing on repeat immediately grabbed his attention. It was from footage of a fight from last year, just a few seconds of an argument between them, Blaise looking disheveled, coming down from a harsh high, a black eye shining under tears, his shirt unbuttoned and torn, while Nathan looked flawless, as usual. Blaise watched himself every few seconds grab at Nathan's shirt, trying to pull him back, trying to keep him from leaving. Nathan walked away, every time, every ten seconds on the dot, Nathan walked away, and Cassie had caught it on tape. 

 Drying his hair as he walked out of the bathroom Youngbae leaned down to pull on a loose t-shirt without looking at Blaise, "So I'm going to grab food, do you want anything?" He asked, answered only with silence, making him grumble quietly, even being nice to the kid wasn't working. Rolling his eyes he turned to leave, only just now noticing why Blaise hadn't answered him. The boy was fast asleep, but instead of a peaceful expression he looked strained, and angry, Youngbae took a step toward him, thinking about waking him up, tell him to at least change clothes before going to sleep. At first he avoided looking at the phone shining up at him as he moved it to the night stand, but the video was distracting. A man was arguing with Blaise, the stranger was dressed to kill, his sneer obvious, while Blaise looked... Broken... Youngbae wondered who it was, and who'd left he bruise on the boy's pretty features, before quickly blushing at how bad he'd wanted to punch him earlier, and for how protective he felt now. It was confusing, contradictory, making him both hate Blaise more, and yet want to keep him safe as well. Instead of waking him up Youngbae laid a blanket over the boy closed the website on his phone before plugging it in. Without thinking he brushed white blonde hair out of Blaise's eyes, watching his expression soften slightly as he nuzzled his face into the pillow under his head. He couldn't be all bad, could he? Not like this, he looked stressed, and sad, it was no wonder, and though frustrating for Youngbae, he was sure it had to be just as much for Blaise, or more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to get another chapter up tomorrow, if not next Wednesday or Thursday! Thank you for reading, and thanks for the kudos! Drop a comment or kudos if you liked this chapter, or hated it, anything you want!


	5. "There Are Worse Things I Could Do"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just a party, right? How bad could it be? Cassie is back to ruin any chance Blaise had as a friend of Youngbae's. Money talks, and Blaise isn't the only one with plenty, it doesn't take much to bribe a few servers and some of the journalists that are allowed in, and that's all she needs. Daesung disappears, Seungri should have gone to the ER, Youngbae is pissed, Seunghyun is Jealous, and Jiyong and Blaise are very, very drunk.

 After a few days the group began to finally develop a routine again, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, all went by, there was no fighting, and very little arguing past the brotherly bickering that often took place between them. The tension between Blaise and Youngbae never went away, but their words were, if not overly friendly, polite at least. Polite through practices full of misstepped dance moves, polite through Blaise's fumbling first few days of classes, and polite with another dinner with f(x), they'd even finally exchanged numbers, between Blaise and the others, though he was fairly sure Taeyang had only taken Blaise's number to further keep track of him, rather to have a friendly chat, but it was a start. Saturday morning Youngbae was pulling them all out of bed way too early to go for a run, Chiffon met them down the street and they were off. Blaise had been less than thrilled with the idea, but he'd dragged himself out of bed anyway.

Two miles later Blaise was reminded why his exercise of choice was yoga, this was torture, he was sweaty, sticky, and gross, and nothing enjoyable had happened to make him that way. Unfortunately they weren't done, after a three hour dance rehearsal Blaise was laying on the floor of their studio, his white blonde hair sticking to his forehead and Jiyong standing over him laughing brightly. "You were a model! I thought they made you guys work out!" He accused jokingly, making Blaise wrinkle his nose and push himself up onto his elbows.

"I had other ways to keep the figure my manager wanted, but I guess I should actually start working now, it's so hard though." Blaise wrinkled his nose in frustration and poked himself in the belly, his stomach was flat, everything about him was thin, sometimes too thin, but without something to keep him from gaining weight like he had before he'd probably have to actually work at it. At least Maria would stop telling him he looked ill whenever he sent her pictures, she was always worried about him.

Finally they'd showered and gone back home, they all had the afternoon off, before Seunghyun had a forced, perfectly organized, date with another idol that YG had set up, and Youngbae had a dinner planned with Luna, or as Blaise had recently been introduced as Park Sunyoung, though Taeyang had given her a sour look when she'd given Blaise her real name, it wasn't as though he didn't already have his, but he had yet to use it, since he'd specifically introduced himself in the first place as Taeyang. It was irritating at best, but Blaise had yet to mention it.  

Taeyang had stayed behind at the studio, working on his most recent track, the solo song he'd be debuting at their concert in Tokyo in a couple of weeks, he was still nervous about it, though both Jiyong and Seunghyun had already helped him a great deal, given him advice on the matter, helped with the music, with the choreography, of course he wasn't new to the show, new to the stage, but the idea of performing his own song, by himself, with nothing but backup dancers working with him through it made him uneasy. "Where's Blaise?" Were the first words out of his mouth as he walked into the living room and let his eyes fall on Daesung and Seungri trying to kill each other over Mortal Kombat, with Jiyong lounging lazily across the couch, looking like a cat. "Uhm- And Seunghyun... You know, just curious... " 

Jiyong chuckled at him without even lifting his head, "Seunghyunie is getting ready for his date, as you should be, you're going to look like a delinquent, you know Sunyoung deserves better than a t-shirt and jeans, even if you're not _actually_  dating her." 

Youngbae rolled his eyes, shaking his head and walking into his own room so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice Blaise laying out on his bed, his hair mussed and towel dried, wearing just a pair of leggings and a designer hoodie that had probably cost a small fortune. Blaise, however, did notice Youngbae, he noticed the way he seemed completely distracted, he noticed the far off look on his flawless features, and he couldn't help but stare as the completely unaware idol stripped his clothes off and toss them into the hamper at the end of his bed. He walked into the bathroom, closing the door this time, cutting off Blaise's view of him. It wasn't Blaise's fault he'd assumed he was alone, and it would take a very special person to be able to _not_  stare so intently at a body as perfect as Dong Youngbae's, no matter who or what you were attracted to. 

Upon reentering the room, wet and wrapped in a towel, Youngbae flicked his gaze to Blaise's bed and had to force a smile away at the way his eyebrows knit together at something obviously annoying on his phone screen. "You'd probably have more fun with them than by yourself in here." He said quietly, making Blaise's head shoot up from his phone, his expression questioning, "No sense in spending your night cooped up alone, everyone will be here but Seunghyun and I."

Blaise shrugged, locking his phone and setting it aside to sit up on his bed cross legged, for once actually looking his age, he was barely nineteen, though his history and his height both made people assume differently. "Why is he going anyway? From what I could tell he doesn't even like this girl, and he's gay, and he has a boyfriend, what's the point in all of this?" 

Youngbae shook his head, a subtle grimace crawling across his features, "YG is trying to deflect the rumors about Seunghyun and Jiyong, he's got no choice, at least Sunyoung and I have a long history, we were planning on going out to dinner anyway, our companies just decided to use it as a publicity stunt." He didn't mention that the reason he was taking her on a date was because her company didn't approve of who she was dating either, but at least it wasn't another girl, her company was a lot more ruthless than his when it came to their dating and personal lives. "Overall you American's are very... Uncouth, and uncivilized, and rude, but I do wish my friends had the acceptance here that they would have in America. You can love and date whomever you choose in your country, there are lots of people here that are jealous of that." He dressed and finished his hair as he spoke, his words surprising Blaise yet again.

"Way to be brutally honest there, rude I understand, but uncivilized? I'd like to see you sit through a New York WASP Easter brunch." Blaise waved off the the lost expression Taeyang gave him and shook his head, "You can, even when you're grandparents are super old school and total jerks about it, as long as you go to the right school they won't say anything publicly. Have fun on your date, and please, put on a tie at least." 

The older man stopped, turning back to Blaise just as he was on his way out of the room, he'd donned a white button up shirt for the occasion, rather than his normal t-shirts, but paired with the dark jeans and shiny white basketball shoes Blaise felt it was his duty to at least dress him up a bit more before letting him leave. Blaise was up in a flash, pulling a plain black silk tie from his rack of multicolored ones and stepping up to Youngbae. The man was stiff, but didn't back away as the American approached him. Blaise was quick to pull the tie around Youngbae's neck, tying it and straightening it perfectly before fixing his shirt collar and his sleeves, which Youngbae had hastily folded up to his his elbows. Once he was presentable Blaise nodded, "Better, and keep the tie, I've only ever worn it once."

Youngbae nodded, but didn't answer, leaving in a hurry, his head clouded again as he tried to regain his composure. Stepping into the elevator he looked up to find Seunghyun had held it for him, "Sorry." He said, for more than one reason, "I wish they'd just leave you two alone."

Seunghyun shrugged, checking his phone to see that Jiyong had already texted him a pouting selca. "It's not like it's your fault, but at least I have someone to cheer me up when I get home, you need to find a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, I'm not one to judge, maybe you'd be less uptight all the time." Youngbae laughed brightly at the joke, it would have been insult coming from anyone else, but Seunghyun was just as uptight as he was according to their friends, so it was just funny.

"Yea, maybe." Youngbae chuckled, but his mood wandered when his mind immediately brought up the image of Blaise, half naked, tying the tie around his neck with practiced ease, he wasn't even gay, why did he keep going back to stuff like this, it was beyong frustrating.

 

* * *

 

"Blaise!" Jiyong sang as he bounced through the open door to find Blaise back on his bed, where he'd been before Youngbae had left just fifteen minutes ago. Seungri followed him through the door, his normally messy hair slicked into a a style that retro style that had to be Jiyong's doing. "We're going out, you need it, God knows I need it, and of course Daesung and Seungri are coming too."

Blaise raised an eyebrow and sat up on his bed, "And your parents are cool with that?" He asked jokingly, pulling an amused laugh from the Seungri, he hadn't really meant to be insulting, but it was obvious that without the cautious escort of either Youngbae or Seunghyun the two in question might not think it was a good idea, to Blaise it sounded fun.

"They don't know, they're gone, and we'll be back before they are, it'll all be fine." Seungri shrugged, grinning brightly as he scratching the side of his head, earning a soft smack from the elder. 

"Don't mess with that piece of art, it's precious!" Jiyong scolded him, smoothing out what the man's hair again and grinning, "Now get ready! We're leaving in like half an hour." He grinned before pulling Seungri from the room, leaving Blaise alone to get ready.

Inspired by Seungri's hair Blaise walked out of his room thirty minutes later, classic black converse, dark washed jeans, white tee shirt, black leather jacket, and finally his hair styled into an exact replica of Danny Zuko's, except of course the colour. He twirled his finger in the curl at the front to be sure it was perfect before carrying his shoes to the door setting them down without putting them on. He found assumption had been correct when the others came out looking like they could have starred in Greece, Korean release. "Let's get out of here then!" Jiyong announced as he slipped into his own shoes and led the group out the door.

Outturned out to be a club on the east side of town, and a party that was invitation only, apparently set up by YG as yet another publicity event. Jiyong had explained that unfortunately, however fancy, the party was completely dry, it was probably better, Blaise knew he was one to misbehave when copious amounts of alcohol were involved, and he was sure he wasn't the only one, but that didn't mean they wouldn't have a blast at the party. Handing invitations to his friends Jiyong nodded towards a short line of photographers being ushered through a separate entrance. "There was a bit of trouble renting the place, but press passes were scarce, the only people allowed in are guests, employees, and just enough press to get us attention, good attention, don't worry." They were escorted into the club easily and Blaise couldn't help but grin. It was decorated in a strange mix of deep velvets, crimson, black, midnight purple, and bright, popping colors immediately drew your eye. He loved it, it was loud and pumping, the odd flash from the cameras not even disturbing them with the rest of the flashing lights in the club. Drinks were already being passed around, but just as Jiyong had said they were strictly non alcoholic, though they were bright and colourful, with glowing cubes inside that made them part of the atmosphere of the club. 

Blaise leaned against the bar with a grin, Jiyong dancing to his own silent beat rather than the slower song that was currently playing, they'd already lost Daesung somewhere, and Seungri was just a few feet away, with a girl who they didn't recognize grinding against him smoothly, rather than seem awkward as Blaise would have expected his arm was around her waist, his hand dipping lower than was probably appropriate. He picked up another glowing drink and took a sip, this time it was different, finally someone had spiked it. It was expected, every party that started out dry would most likely never end that way, it just made it more fun. Jiyong seemed to notice as well and the smirk that spread across his face was bright and mischievous. "And now things will really heat up, I just wish we had a certain pair to share it with, oh well, they wouldn't approve anyway." Jiyong downed his own drink and pulled Blaise onto the dance floor.

 

* * *

 

It was only eleven, four ours into the party, Youngbae and Sunyoung had moved on from their dinner to walk through the park near her apartment, finally they'd managed to lose the press, but they each still had one security officer practically stalking them, at least they were used to it. Seunghyun , however hadn't been so lucky, the dinner had been bareable, but then his overly dramatic date decided they were going to go shopping as well, no regard for the time, and of course they had to bring the photographers with them, and while Seunghyun had one security guard, she had to have four, though she wasn't nearly as well known as he was. He kept a smile on his face for every picture, his mind on Jiyong, probably sitting on the counter at home eating directly out of an ice cream container, his phone buzzed, no doubt it was him, and another selca, he was surprised he'd only gotten the one when he'd left. He pulled his phone out of his pocket when it buzzed again, ignoring the glare he got from his date he finally answered it.

Youngbae unlocked his phone after half an hour of ignoring the near constant vibrations, they were standing outside Sunyoung's building visiting contentedly, Youngbae had finally been able to get his mind off of Blaise for the first time since he'd arrived, and Sunyoung loved every excuse she had to spend time with him, she was like his sister after all. His phone blinked with several texts from both Blaise and Chiffon, both of which he ignored, but Seunghyun had texted him as well, more than once, that had to mean something was up, he'd never be allowed to have his phone out with that diva unless it was an absolute emergency. Just as he hit the message icon to see what his friend wanted the phone rang, with Seunghyun's name in bold on his caller ID. "Hey, wha-" His words were cut off by his furious, and worried, sounding friend. "They've _what?_ Calm down, I'll meet you there." The conversation was short and hurried as Youngbae hung up the phone, just to look up and see a look of concern on Sunyoung's face. "Blaise crashed a YG party, he and Jiyong are trashed and according to Seunghyun wrecked half the club." His voice was eerily calm, but his temper was just a few steps away from a full scale explosion. Whether it was actually that bad or not he had no idea, Seunghyun was always one to exaggerate, and so were many of their friends, but what he did know that Blaise had just screwed up, big time. 

Youngbae sent Sunyoung up to her apartment when the car arrived, knowing if she was gone for too long they'd both be in trouble. He called Chiffon on the way to the club, who relayed the situation in more detail. Jacob had Jiyong and Blaise, passed on, but safe, in a car headed home, while she was dealing with a very ill Seungri in the back room of the club, she had a paramedic with her, she was fairly sure he'd had an allergic reaction to something, and along with past drunk as well she was having a hard time keeping it all quiet. "The problem is," She said after seconds of her talking quietly with the paramedic treating Seungri, "Daesung is missing, we've looked everywhere, the party was supposed to be dry, just a little mingling, a little dancing, pictures to keep fans and netizens satisfied without any actual trouble."

Youngbae took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm even as every fiber of his being was tense, "As far as Blaise is concerned." He said quietly between gritted teeth, "He should stay with Jacob tonight. Possibly for the rest of his, hopefully very short, stay in Seoul. You've read about him, destruction follows him everywhere he goes, and it's my fault he's here. He needs to be out of our lives before he causes any more trouble." Chiffon didn't agree with him, but she also didn't argue, instead she simply excused herself from the call to help Seungri.

He hit delete on the still unread texts from Blaise before even looking over them how could he intentionally bring this on them so close to such an important show? He hated the way the boy cared for no one but himself, it was hurtful, disappointing, and infuriating. 

Seunghyun was standing outside the back of the club when Youngbae drove up, barreling out of the car to see what was happening. "Jiyong is already on his way home, I was waiting for you, then I'm bringing Seungri home too, the paramedics already treated him, but they said if we're not going to put him in a hospital over night to watch him really closely. Daesung is still missing, Chiffon said she'd help you look for him." His words were quick and businesslike, but Youngbae could see his emotions bubbling just underneath the surface. Chiffon came out with a man Seungri between her and the paramedic who had been helping her and sighed when she saw them, Seunghyun helped their maknae into the back of the car and they were gone before anyone in front of the club noticed they'd even been there.

Youngbae pulled a baseball cap over his hair and nodded to Chiffon, "We'll lay low and start asking question, someone has to have seen Daesung leave, it's not like he was trying to stay hidden. I'll text you if I find anything." Inside the club was just as much of a mess as he'd expected, but he barely paid attention to it, instead they talked to well known, trusted, and private press sources and staff. From their they were able to discern that Daesung had left the club and melted into the growing crowd of fans outside about an hour before the party had come to an end, but asking the fans for help, however carefully, turned out to be a frenzy. Everyone wanted pictures, autographs, to give presents, and Youngbae didn't have time or patience for it at the moment.

Finally, after talking gaining too many useless pieces of information about his whereabouts a quiet girl pulled on Youngbae's sleeve, she couldn't have been more than fifteen, why she was out this late, and in this crowd, was beyond the idol completely. "I saw him leave with a girl, it's been a couple hours now. He was very drunk, he could barely stand up without help, and he was acting like a fool, kissing every girl, asking everyone out, people were eating it up. I guess this girl convinced him to go with her because they left, disappeared on a moped around the corner."

Youngbae cursed under his breath and pulled a business card out of his wallet, "Thanks, call that number and tell them I gave you this, you'll get two VIP passes to our next local show as my personal guests."

She tried to refuse the card, her cheeks flushed, stammering how it was only the right thing to do to tell him, but he forced the card into her hand and ran off to find Chiffon, just as the girl pointed in the opposite direction and yelled at the top of her lungs. "Oh my God! Is that GD?!" Making everyone who heard her immediately hurry in the direction she'd sent them.

It was three in the morning, Chiffon and Youngbae had tried calling Daesung, looked everywhere they could think of, asked everyone they knew they could trust if they'd seen him, but still there was nothing. The shrill ringing of Youngbae's phone brought him out of his own thoughts and he snatched up the device, answering hurriedly as he saw Daesung's name. "Daesung! Where are you?!" He demanded, but his friends voice wasn't what answered him, instead it was a girl, shy, and shaky.

"Uhm... Sir, I- I have your friend. He was drunk and he was acting so unlike himself... I got him away from the cameras, I didn't know what else to do. It took me forever to convince him to leave, and then he was sick, and now I'm finally looking at his phone to try and figure out how to get him home, I couldn't unlock it, but there was a bunch of missed calls from you, and you were in his emergency contacts..."

Youngbae did his best to keep his voice quiet, calm, though he couldn't hide his worry, he didn't want to scare the girl on the other side, and it sounded as though it would be really easy. "Is he alright?" He finally asked, and her answer was at least a little reassuring. 

"Yes, he's sleeping now, finally." She sighed into the phone, she sounded just as stressed as he felt.

"Where are you?" He suddenly asked, hoping it wasn't something like a hostile, or worse one of those creepy love motels, he didn't know the girl who was on his phone, they could be anywhere. 

"I had no idea where to take him..." She started nervously, "I hope I didn't do the wrong thing, but I- I kind of took him home with me. I didn't know what else to do with him, and I'm a huge fan, the press would have ripped him to shreds, I couldn't leave him there." Youngbae quietly thanked her and a couple of hours later he'd given the girl a card for passes and his personal email if she ever needed anything he could help with. 

They finally had Daesung in bed at home as the sun was coming up, Chiffon had gone on to her own apartment, and Youngbae sat quietly in the living room with Seunghyun as the others slept. His friend couldn't stop looking at what pictures were already being posted, and more were being uploaded every few minutes. Blaise and Jiyong were hanging all over each other, sure none were overly inappropriate, as far as actually getting handsy with each other, but even with how close the two were in every picture it seemed to get under Seunghyun's skin. "Come on, let's try to get some sleep at least, we can sort this out in the morning. It's time to do something about this _American_  who thinks we're all just plaything for his own amusement, but right now we're both exhausted."

 

* * *

 

  
_"What YG Entertainment intended to be a closed event was crashed by our favorite_ former _addict, Blaise Warwick. After sneaking in alcohol and dispersing it among the unsuspecting partygoers Warwick not only spent the evening with famed Korean Pop Sensation G-Dragon, who is rumored to be in an ongoing relationship with band mate T.O.P, the young man  took a very short moment to finish ruining the party. Many left sick, or disappeared completely, and while YG attempted to organize their newest problems Blaise left with G-Dragon, presumably to finish their evening in_ style. _"_

Blaise massaged his temples as the forgotten orange juice glass in front of him slowly came to room temperature. "Stop it. Just stop." He muttered at Jacob, who was reading Cassie's new article to him. She'd outdone herself this time. Not only making him look like a horrible person and a fool, but also making YG look inept, shedding more light on Jiyong and Seunghyun's secret relationship, and bringing in a few other trouble making guests in as ammunition, and then blaming the entire thing on Blaise. She'd even gotten quotes from people, how'd she even manage that? "I didn't even spike the drinks!" He exclaimed, cutting off Jacob's words.

" _I_  know you didn't, but everyone else doesn't." Jacob for once looked like he wasn't about to attend a meeting with Blaise's father, springing for nice jeans and a black brand name polo rather than a perfectly tailored suit, while Blaise was wearing a pair of plaid pajama pants and had slept out his hair gel. "Also Chiffon says it's probably best to skip practice today, and she'd email you your school work." He sighed and grabbed the toast that had just popped from the toaster, spreading peanut butter on both pieces and handing one to Blaise. "In all the years I've known you I've figured out that I can't tell you what to do, and when I do you usually do the exact opposite, but I know exactly what you're thinking right now Blaise, and you can't leave yet."

Blaise looked from the spot he'd been studying on the table and began tearing his toast in half, though he didn't eat it. "Why not? If I leave I take Cassie with me and she leaves the guys alone. I can just hole up somewhere in India, get plastic surgery, dye my hair, and start picking up background dancer gigs in bollywood movies." He ended his sentence with a forced laugh, trying to make light of a situation he didn't know how to fix, but there was one thing he did know... "I have to fix it, fix this. I have to make Cassie fix this. Ruining me is one thing, I did that all by myself, but Jiyong, and Seunghyun, T-Taeyang, and Seungri and Daesung... They're just casualties in her stupid fight."

Before Jacob had a chance to argue, though Blaise didn't expect him to, he was across the room, his toast left on the table, picking up his own phone and dialing the only number his dad had that he knew he would answer. "Dr. Christopher Warwick" His dad answered in a voice that made it sound like he was probably busy, though it was midnight in New york. 

"Hey dad." Blaise started, almost immediately being cute off by a clearing throat.

"Blaise I told you to use this number for emergencies only, you know I'm busy."  Christopher Warwick was always busy. The computer Engineer brought his business up from nothing in his teenage years and had since then built it into one of the most wealthy and successful companies in the world. He was a genius with computers, but with people he wasn't so well-versed.

"Dad I know, but this is an emergency. I just fucked up the one chance I had to do something worthwhile, and I need help." He could hear what he could only assume was a snort from the other end as his dad answered.

"Yes, I just got a text from your mother detailing your latest escapades, and a call from a YG entertainment lawyer. I've got to congratulate you on how quickly you seemed to fuck this chance up."

"Look, I know how it looks, but you know Cassidy lies about everything! I didn't bring the drinks, or take the pictures, or sell them to her. I don't know who she had on the inside but this wasn't me." He paused, fighting the tears that were itching his throat. "I was just starting to befriend these guys, they like me, or they did, and she managed to ruin it in a single night! I should have been more careful, I know, but you've got to help me fix it. Please." His last word was quiet, pleading, as his father deliberated on the other side.

"You don't need friends Blaise, you need allies, people who will push themselves up, and you above them, not below them." Blaise wasn't sure how to answer his father's words, but he could hear the quick clacking of the keyboard on the other side. "I'm texting you her number Blaise, you'll fix this by yourself. The number of the YG lawyer is there as well, figure it out."

The phone line went dead and Blaise fell onto the couch. "What am I supposed to do with her number and the number of some Korean popstar lawyer? It's not like I just call her up and tell her what she did was a no-no."

Jacob was already up and in the bedroom, pulling out a suit of his own, and an outfit for Blaise that he kept on hand on the chance Blaise would need it. "We're going to YG's headquarters, you're right, and so is your dad, so get a move on, you can't fix this on your own, you're going to need help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for being late! I'll try to hammer it out on time next week, thanks for reading! 
> 
> Also I swear if you get the Grease references I'll love you forever, I mean really they're totally obvious.


	6. Lesson Learned?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty long Chapter comparatively, but it was so much fun to write!
> 
> ***
> 
> Secrets are coming as to how and why Blaise got placed with Youngbae as they try to figure out the best way to deal with Cassie, without losing their own reputations in the process.

Doing his best to ignore the fans that already hated him outside Blaise kept his head high as he walked through the front door of YG headquarters. Jacob had not only brought him here, but made sure he was dressed professionally as well, a grey double breasted suit, with a simple white shirt underneath, and a a pale pink scarf tied loosely around his neck. For once he didn't look like he was going to a party, or to the country club with his mother, which he actually hated. "I don't know how much my parents pay you to babysit me Jacob, but I really think you need a raise." He said quietly as they walked past the receptionist, she smiled at both of them, and Blaise could see the pity on her face. He took a deep breath and didn't take his oversized sunglasses off until they were in the elevator. 

"Mr. Warwick there really isn't much we can do without proof she was behind it." A middle aged petite Korean woman, who had her hair pulled into a bun that looked way too tight, sat behind a computer desk tapped out information on a slim tablet. "The bar staff claimed you paid for the drinks, and we can't find the photographer who took the specific photos in question, but I can promise as soon as we do he won't have a job in the industry again. That promise isn't for you though, you're being cut, there's nothing else we can do."

This time it was Jacob who interrupted, "You can't do that, let us find out who paid off the staff, and the photographers, we'll be able to prove it was Cassidy, she would do anything to bring Blaise and anyone around him down, and until we can do something to stop her she's just going to follow him."

"Even more of a reason to pull him from our boys, they don't need anyone trying to tear them down like this  _journalist_  has started doing. They have enough on their plate already" With that they were being dismissed, but Jacob wasn't done yet.

"Give us a couple of weeks, it's not as if you're paying him, or me. If we can get her to back off wouldn't it be better for everyone?" The lawyer obviously didn't believe they could do it, but finally she nodded in a agreement, giving them the time to try and fix what was happening. The meeting was over and Blaise still wasn't sure how he was going to pull it off, but obviously Jacob had a plan. Unfortunately that plan started back at the apartment, where Big Bang was no doubt trying to figure out how to fix their own problems, the biggest of which was Blaise's fault.

Back in the lobby Blaise almost was lost in his own thoughts as they headed for the front door, but something stopped him in his tracks. That something was a girl almost a foot shorter than he was, large glasses making her face look even smaller, her dyed auburn hair thrown haphazardly into a ponytail. The moment recognition hit her the frazzled looking girl turned cold, "Stay away from them, they deserve better than people like you." She said, her voice biting and angry as she pushed past him before he could even form an answer. 

"Wait-!" Blaise finally said, but she was already gone by the time he reached out to stop her, disappearing out the glass doors and into the crowd of fans below. They all hated him, just like she did, he shook his head, it wasn't as if it was the first time the public despised him, and he had a funny feeling it wouldn't be the last. 

"Hey kid!" He heard a voice he didn't recognize call out as they neared the front door, making him freeze and turn around, assuming she'd been talking to him. The receptionist waved him over with a smile, she sat on a tall stool behind a shiny white desk, "I heard what Sun Hyon said, she's a nice girl, just really protective. I agree with her that our boys only deserve the best, but you deserve better too." Her English was nearly flawless, surprising him with that, and when she handed him a padded white envelope and winked. "It's Daesung's, tell him the girl he went home with last night is cute, if not a little uptight. She's actually in here a lot, helps run one of their biggest fan sites." She smiled brightly as he took the envelope and then waved him back towards Jacob, "Good luck Blaise, and don't give up yet, you never know what could happen."

 

* * *

 

Youngbae lay awake for a long time wondering what to do. This stunt could ruin them and he knew it. Finally, unable to lay there anymore he got up, showered, and went into the living room to see how everyone was. Unsurprisingly no one was up yet so he made himself tea and sat at his computer watching as it blazed to life. The first thing he saw was an email pop up, then two, then dozens. Opening one of the messages he read the startling words then quickly opened another, and another, all the emails carried roughly the same information, and a link. Clicking the URL his screen was filled with rather graphic yet grainy photos of Jiyong and Blaise practically making out on a dancefloor. Daesung with his hands around a girl in the background in a rather inappropriate way and to the left he could just make out Seungri laying on a table, presumably already passed out. As he studied the photos, and there were plenty to study, he saw many of the YG artists both male and female glassy eyed and behaving extremely out of character. Stunned he silently read the article, and as he finished he felt sick, he’d known the boy was dangerous, he’d known to be on his guard but nothing had prepared him for something like this.

He was still sitting there with his untouched tea rereading the article when Seunghyun walked into the room. "Jiyong was sick for three hours before I got him to sleep." He commented as he collapsed on the couch, "I didn’t have the heart to be upset with him when he was so ill and now, well... I know he loves me, but still..." Finally looking at Youngbae, Seunghyun asked worriedly, "You ok man? You look pale." Youngbae unable to say anything turned the computer toward Seunghyun who seeing the photos of Jiyong and Blaise got up suddenly and in two large steps was beside Youngbae alert and agitated. Reading the article Youngbae had just read Seunghyun let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. "This is bad," he said quietly, "Really bad." Standing there staring at the photo’s Seunghyun’s suddenly felt sick.

The two were standing stock still as Jiyong walked in looking terrible and still very much hung over. Slipping his arm around Seunghyun to lean on him he found his lover rigid and cold. "What’s wrong ba…" He began as his eyes fell on the screen, suddenly at a loss for words. Seunghyun pulled away from him and walked to the corner to stare out a window as Jiyong paled and read the article and studied the photos. "She’s lying." He said in a small voice, "Blaise did not crash the part." Taking a deep breath he finished, "We took him, he was there because of me."

Turning suddenly Seunghyun said harshly, "And did _you_ spike the drinks too?" Jiyong stood there, never having heard such anger from Seunghyun before, and dropped his gaze to the floor.

After a few moments of awkward silence, he said, "I did not, but I don’t think Blaise did either." It was the truth, Blaise had been with him the entire time, and he hadn't known about the party before hand, there was no way he had had time to get anyone to bring alcohol in, he'd been just as surprised as anyone else, it was all of their fault that they hadn't said anything when they'd first realized.

Seunghyun only snorted, "Of course you’d protect your newest toy. The least you could have done is told me we were through before you made it public."

Choking on his words Jiyong felt tears well up in his eyes as he whipped his head up to stare at his boyfriend, "But I- we... Seunghyun, _no-!_ " Taking a deep breath he looked down again, then finally back up at Seunghyun who’s back was now to him and said more stubbornly, "The article is a lie, think about it Seunghyun. Who did I leave the party with, who did I go home with?" Becoming desperate he walked over to Seunghyun and said quietly, "We both know I am flamboyant and flighty, but I would never cheat on you, I love you." Before he walked slowly back to his room. Seunghyun stood silent and still as Jiyong left unsure what to think or do.

It was a long time before Youngbae spoke calmly, "Blaise is well known in America and Europe to leave destruction wherever he goes, but I think Jiyong is a victim of that destruction as well as you." When his friend didn't respond Youngbae added, "He loves you Seunghyun, and you love him. Talk to him, tell him how hurt you are. Don’t give up so easily."

After checking on the Seungri and Daesung and finding them both still fast asleep he walked back into the living room and saw Seunghyun still in the same spot frozen at the window still looking shocked and devastated by the betrayal, and Jiyong leaning against the door frame of their room staring at Seunghyun, looking exhausted, distraught, and almost afraid. Glancing between the two unnoticed he went back to his own room in hopes that they would be able to talk. Plopping down on his bed he stared at the ceiling a long time before finally calling Sunyoung. Sadly, she and most of the world had indeed seen the article and she said her manager was keeping them busy all day, with the intent of distracting any negative attention that might come their way.

Several hours later Daesung, who’d only been somewhat worried about the missing hours of his memory and his missing phone had been told it would be returned soon, and Seungri, still sick and a little greenish grey, sat absentmindedly playing a video game. None of the party goers seemed to have much recollection of the night before. Youngbae having been surrounded by the smell of Blaise in his room was back in the living room yet again, headphones securely over his ears, his body slung loosely over a large chair. His anger still was still flaring, his only consolation was Jiyong and Seunghyun seemed to at least be speaking again although they both looked extremely uncomfortable. Jiyong was staring at the elder sadly, while Seunghyun tried to pretend he was not still hurt and jealous. The relative silence in the room while each of them tried to figure out what they were going to do about what had happened was suddenly broken by the unwanted arrival of Blaise and Jacob.

Seunghyun shot up off of the couch faster than any of them thought was possible, putting himself between Jiyong and the door, "Why are you here?" His voice was quiet, angry and threatening, "Haven’t you done enough?" He asked with a glare, before his real intent finally broke through, "You can't have him! So why are you still coming here?" Jiyong stared at his friend unable to even speak, he’d never seen his this angry, he was always protective, but he was also kind, reaching up to grasp his lover's arm he realized for the first time since they’d seen the photos Seunghyun did not pull away from him but grasped his hand instead. 

Youngbae finally look up from his music, suddenly realizing who had walked in and stood up quickly.  Blaise may have been a good eight inches taller him but Youngbae's fierce anger made him more threatening than Blaise could have ever been. "Are you here to gloat, or to see if you can destroy what's left of us" he asked, not even bothering to cover up the disgust and malice in his voice. Then turning to Jacob he said with a jerk of his head, "You're in charge of him, Take him and leave, he’s no longer welcome here. I think he’s more than proved his intentions." Crossing his arms his muscles rippled and bulged, tight with tension as he glared up at the blonde intruder.

Flinching at Seunghyun's words Blaise refused to make eye contact with any of them as he looked around the room, except Daesung, who gave him a sleepy grin, apparently he had been the only one to really enjoy the previous evening. Youngbae spoke next, and though his words weren't filled with jealousy as the older man's had been they had a venom that bit deeper, making Jacob step forward, "I didn't come here as his keeper, I came here as his _friend,_  probably the only one he's got right now. He didn't have to come back, he was going to leave the country, try and start over, again, but decided this time he'd try-"

Putting a hand on his shoulder Blaise could feel Jacob's anger at the accusations, but he didn't have time to defend himself against them. "Stop, it's not like I don't seserve it, I didn't even warn anyone about her." Besides telling Jiyong and Seunghyun about the article she'd written previously it was the truth, he'd kept Cassidy to himself for the most part, he hadn't even told anyone at YG, unless his mother had, she was always there to bring him down, and everyone around him, would the company even have believed him?

Glancing from Jiyong to Youngbae he licked his lips nervously and began again, "I know it was Cassie. I've done plenty of stupid, idiotic, sometimes fairly illegal, things, and I will tell you guys every single one of them in detail if you would like, just to prove to you I'm telling the truth now." He wrung his hands together as he spoke quickly, trying to get all his information out before they decided to shut him down again. "I didn't spike the drinks, and I didn't sell her the pictures, or plan for any of this to happen... But it's still my fault, the whole thing. I brought her here, she followed me, and now she's not only gunning for my already pieced out reputation, she's also trying to crush yours, and I can't let her. I need one, or all of you, to do something I can't do." None of them spoke as he paused, made it easier to continue, "I need you to talk to her, tell he you're willing to throw me under the bus to keep yourselves off of her stupid site, which shouldn't be too hard since it's probably true. Tell her you'll give her anything you know  about me, get her talking, gossip, she talks more than I do, she won't be able to shut up about it if you're on her side... If I- If we can prove she was behind at least part of the mess last night then we can get her articles removed, and press charges depending on what we can find out." Blaise had spent the ride back to the apartment studying what they'd need to get her website taken down, or at the very least the articles about them, without just getting one of his dad's employees to hack the stupid thing and take them down in way that wasn't quite as legal. 

Blaise waited for the argument, waited for the anger, for more yelling, or worse terrifyingly calm words that would simply send him away. Instead the first question he received was, "How did you get in anyway? I thought we were on lockdown."

Daesung rolled up from where he'd been lounging on the floor and Jacob let out a chuckle that he immediately tried to cover up, answering back in Korean, "Not just anyone can tell the son of the third richest man in the world no, even when he is being an idiot. Security didn't try very hard to not let him up either, someone probably told them we were coming."

Blaise raised an eyebrow in question to both of their words, but Youngbae was already interrupting them. "What the hell is he babbling about? And who is Cassie?" Blaise was speaking so fast he could barely understand a word he was saying, and through the little bit he did catch he just seemed to be blaming someone, the same sounded vaguely familiar, but he still wasn't able to place it. As Blaise finished his monologue that each of them had only caught parts of Youngbae met Jacob's eyes rather than Blaise's, forcing himself to sound calm as he spoke Jacob in Korean. "We can't follow him speaking that quickly, can you please explain what's going on."

Still angry, defensive, and confused, Youngbae was almost taken aback by the look in Blaise’s eyes when he finally returned they boy's stare. There was both challenge, and a deep sadness in his beautiful blue eyes and Youngbae was distracted for a moment by his own thoughts. His attention only came back to the present as Jacob and Jiyong began to explain what Blaise had said. The mood in the room slowly shifted as they began to understand what Blaise had said. Everyone remained quiet for several minutes Youngbae’s eyes never leaving Blaise’s throughout the explanation. Of course it was Jiyong, sweet trusting Jiyong who broke the silence saying to Blaise in English, "I could do that. I’m great at chatting." Seunghyung, his hand still in Jiyong’s stood between Blaise and Jiyong and was about to speak when Youngbae interrupted him.

The look in Youngbae's eyes was surprising to say the least, the most obvious was hate, frustration, confusion, but there was something else, maybe pity. Youngbae didn't look away from him, but his gaze hardened, his teeth gritting together as Jacob tried to translate his words. Sending an appreciative, yet sad, smile to Jiyong Blaise nodded, but was cut off by Youngbae before he could say anything, making him visibly flinch away from the man as he spoke again, wishing he could understand what he was saying. 

" _No_. Jiyongie you guys have enough to deal with right now what with this whole new accusation against Jiyong, and well, everything else. It’s my fault the kid is here, I’m the one who accepted his mother’s offer, I studied him and knew I might be bringing touble, but I put my album deal above our safety and reputations." He tried to calm his tone as he worked to keep his anger in check, but it was difficult in their current circumstances.

Both Seunghyun and Jiyong looked up at him and questioned simultaneously, "Why didn't you tell us?" Their tones, however, were very different, one angry, while the other was worried. 

Seungri finally spoke up as well, folding his arms and watching Blaise, "You know we would have backed you up. If we'd have known we were babysitting we would have tried harder, it was our fault you were even out in the first place, we didn't think it was a big deal."

Blaise opened his mouth to speak, but yet again he was cut off in angry Korean, this time coming from Jacob, who was yelling at Youngbae, "You can't tell him that!" He said quickly, making everyone jump and look at him, thankfully he knew Blaise wouldn't understand a word he said. "He can't know, it's part of your contract!" 

As the room melted into chaos at his words Youngbae was set and determined, he’d brought this onto their heads, his desperate desire for this solo album had allowed this beautiful destructive force of nature into their home putting them all at risk. He had to protect Jiyong and Seunghyun, they had so much to lose if their relationship became official in the public eye. It didn’t matter that the entire female and half the male populations of not only South Korea but also most of Asia and the fans worldwide fantasized about them together _,_  it was still something their culture did not accept at all.

Jacob was glaring at Youngbae as Daesung folded his arms in confusion, "Wait... So you mean Blaise's mom is paying for Youngbae's album so that he'll try and resurrect Blaise's fucked up reputation? He's been all over the web for years now, how did he not realize she was just sending him away to get rid of the problem?" So used to talking to Blaise in English, though fairly broken, Daesung hadn't even realized when he'd babbled out in English rather than Korean, surprising all of them. He hadn't meant it to sound so harsh, but that's how it had come out, and now all eyes were on Blaise.

Finally pulling his attention away from Blaise, Youngbae looked about the room and settling his eyes on his friends one by one and said quietly in Korean, "It was a stipulation in my contract, he," Youngbae indicated Blaise as he spoke, "Couldn’t know, and you all couldn’t know either it was supposed to be a real chance at teaching him his true value, teaching him he could exist and thrive away from his abusive boyfriend and the drugs he’d almost killed himself with. She begged me to teach her son discipline, asked me not to treat him as the whole world did but to treat him like we were treated when we came here, it was everyone for themselves it was brutal but it made us who we are and those of us who worked the hardest made it through ever cut and eventually became stars. She wants him to be happy wants him to shine as brightly as she knows he can. She told me, _The brightest diamonds are the roughest stones and the most difficult to break through to._  Her Korean was flawless too, I was surprised actually. So I agreed to the deal, my project paid for by his mother and in return I try to break him down to build him back up into someone better." For the first time Youngbae looked sadly back at Blaise then dropped his eyes to Jacob.

Jacob's turned to Blaise quickly, who looked like he was about to be sick, "Not true, Blaise you know that. Your mother sent you here to help you." He tried to meet the boy's gaze, but the younger man refused to look up at him. "Blaise, it's going to work here, it has to work. Your mother sent you here to learn hard work, and practice, and values that you weren't learning in the US, things you haven't had to worry about. She-"

Blaise flexed his jaw and shook his head, "Don't. Jacob, you know as well as I do what she does with her _problems._  She just covers them up with enough makeup to make them seem flawless, and that's what she did here. She bribed some popstar to take me in like a fucking kitten in a cardboard box. Oh of course, to show me hard work, more like to hide me somewhere she thought the American press wouldn't find me, except that didn't work, did it? Her last name is still being dragged through the mud, thanks to our lovely friend Cassidy, and her own apparently clueless son." He could feel tears in his eyes, but he was too angry for them to spill over as he glared at Jacob.

Angry as Youngbae was he was also was fighting an internal battle, he knew Blaise was a snake that had left destruction in his path for years, yet he looked so helpless and lost and the instinct to protect the boy, who wasn’t really a boy at all but a grown man, kept rearing up in his head especially when he watched the tears gather in his eyes. Those eyes that seemed appear more and more in his dreams, making him wake up in a cold sweat, he both loved and hated those dangerously beautiful eyes. Youngbae worked to keep his gaze intent and angry, hating both himself and Blaise for his contradictory feelings, everything had been fine, normal, and there had been no problems before Blaise had arrived and in such a short amount of time he’d gone from a stranger, to tolerable, to almost a friend. then to this, someone bent on his own self destruction and that of those around him.

Still looking at Jacob, Youngbae said quietly in Korean, "Please translate for me and for them I am past trying to understand English right now and I know Blaise cannot understand a word of Korean." Then taking a breath he looked past him to Blaise, "You don't have any clue how much your mother wants you to succeed, she loves you but she has no idea how to help you. She described you to me as a star burning so bright it was fatal to itself. She’s watched in horror as you were self-destructing, she said she flinched when the phone rang always afraid it was the final call, the one that said you had died of an overdose, or in an accident or at the hands of that horrible man you were dating. She did not send you here to hide you away she sent you here for a new start, far away from those that fed your addictions for their own selfish reasons. She hoped that your destructive energy could be pointed in new ways. I told her I’d read about you thoroughly and there was no chance you’d change but she insisted you were better than anyone else knew and begged me to try. She’s paid for my entire project, the album, the concert, the promotion a chance to take it worldwide if it does well here. You basically owned me but the stipulations were very clear if you or anyone else found out about this arrangement I lost it all." Taking a deep breath, he shuddered slightly at the enormity of his loss.

Though Blaise's expression conveyed a deep-seated, soft, anger, his eyes were flaring. How  _dare_  Jacob keep this from him, no wonder Youngbae hated him. He could make or break his solo project, without even knowing it. Daesung looked conflicted when Youngbae asked him to translate his words for Blaise, but Blaise new Jacob wouldn't tell him no. "Tell me exactly what he said." He said to Jacob, his voice quiet, firm, and obviously far past pissed off.

"So basically the deal is off, no album, no concert, no solo project, nothing." Looking at Jacob now he said quietly, and still in Korean, "Tell her I am sorry I failed. If the boy wants to stay I am sure YG can arrange him someone else, as I know she will be furious with me for this breech in her trust. If he is serious and you truly think this Cassie person is the cause of our current turmoil rather than Blaise being the cause I will help you try to prove it if for no other reason than to help the boy stay and try to start over yet again with someone different."

Youngbae exhausted, physically, emotionally, and mentally, sank into the chiar he’d been sitting on before and glancing one more time into the deep pools of blue a great sadness came over him. There was nothing more to say, all the secrets were out, well almost all of them, but his growing attraction was all the more reason Blaise needed to leave even if part of him jealously hated the idea of him living with another man. It was for the best and it could not be helped. This chapter was over had been over the minute his anger had gotten the best of him and he’d spilled the whole thing to his bandmates, worse yet Daesung had spilled it to Blaise.

Jacob looked at Blaise as if he was worried that anything he said could send Blaise spiraling back into a depression of drugs, and anything else he could get his hands on. Blaise's gaze became harder and Jacob sighed, explaining what Youngbae had said in a voice that told him it wasn't new news to him. "You have no idea what you're talking about." Blaise began, Jacob quickly and quietly translated, moving to stand closer to Youngbae, but his eyes were still locked on Blaise. Jacob had promised to always be honest with Blaise, they'd agreed that it was better to keep everything between them in the open, and even through the drugs and everything else he kept Jacob knowing about it all, he had had no right to keep this deal from him. "She doesn't care about my  _happiness_ , she cares about her image, and mine. All she does is keep me in  _stuff,_  jewelry, and designer clothing, and electronics, and anything that she thinks will keep me appeased. When I moved to LA, where she couldn't have me constantly followed around, she told me she was worried that I'd get into trouble, not because she wanted me safe, but because she wanted me to keep my reputation, meaning her reputation, clean. I fucked that up too." He paused, but not for long enough for anyone to get a word in. "The only reason I'm out of LA is because the courts ruled rehab rather than prison, which no doubt was her doing, remind me to thank her for once again covering her own ass."

Youngbae listened as Jacob translated Blaise's words, he found it both irritating and sad that Blaise felt so litttle loved by his mother, and he wondered what she'd done in the past that made him so convinced she didn't care, because she certainly seemed to care a great deal when she'd come to him in the beginning, who her friend in the company was she wouldn't say, but he knew it had to be someone fairly high up. She'd come ful of worry and hope, desperate to see her sond find meaning and peace, but in fear that he would reject the offer if she knew what he'd paid to get it. At the timehe'd not understood her insistence, but in watching Blaise's reaction he began to see her fear. Sadly it was too late, the deed was done, he'd opened his mouth in anger, and in just a moment lost the contract.

Finally Youngbae cut in again, though it was in rushed Korean, and Jacob quickly began to translate. This time the tears did come, no matter how much he tried to push them away. "I didn't own you, I don't  _own_  anyone, I-" He cleared his throat, and Jacobs words made him clench his fists. " _No_ _._  She can't do that! She won't, I won't let her."

Before anyone answered his phone was out, but Jacob snatched it out of his hand. "No she won't, if she doesn't know you know. You've kept plenty from her before now, she doesn't have to know, and she'll continue the project."

Blaise's tears only made Youngbae feel more defeated, he knew it was over, his chance at the project, at least he still had Big Bang, the group of young men were closer than brothers, they loved each other fiercely, and would stop at nothing to protect the others. Too much was going on all at once, Blaise yelling in English, Jacob trying to translate fast enough not to miss aything, suddenly Blaise's phone was in his hand, but in no time at all Jacob had taken it away.

"I-" Blaise took another breath, wiping the tears away as he nodded once. "You're right, we'll fix this, I'll fix this. But if you were supposed to keep me out of trouble, which is next to impossible if you hadn't noticed, then she'll be calling soon, and she'll be pissed, so first we have to figure out how to get Cassie out of the picture, temporarily at least." His voice hardened, but his gaze softened as he glanced over Youngbae, who looked like he'd given up.

"I can't let her ruin the first chance I've had to do something useful in like eight years, I'll hire some mafia assassin if I have to, at least the friends that she brought down with me in LA were idiotic assholes like me, you guys haven't done anything to deserve her grudge."

"She already left me a voicemail I haven’t called her back yet it’s been a bit crazy here." Youngbae mumbled in Korean, he appreciated Blaise’s desire to fix things but when his first thought went immediately to hiring someone he rolled his eyes. Jacob still translating things for everyone he quietly but defiantly said, "Money can't fix everything Blaise, you have got to learn hard work and dedication as well, that was her whole point. Yes, she offered to pay for my project but she wanted you to learn my work ethic, she wanted you to learn my discipline and drive. She hoped you’d find a love for music, acting or at least find a modeling agency that would give you a new chance when they saw the new you. But I blew it, all of it I obviously taught you nothing, I tried to teach you the way we were taught. We came here as young children, we were not babied or given kindness and gifts, we were taught hard work and dedication and when one of us failed they were sent home. We only saw rewards when the performance was up to par."

Looking up at Blaise again Youngbae sat his hands in his lap he’d never felt so defeated in his life. "I have to call her back and tell her what I know and I’m not so sure my blaming some American journalist is going to help me out on that one. Besides, you don’t even know she is in Seoul." His phone rang again and looking at the caller ID he slowly hit the reject call button and laid his head in his hands trying to sort out what he was going to tell Blaise’s mother. He couldn't keep ignoring her he had to tell her something. Without raising his head, he said, to no one in particular, "I don’t have any idea what to tell her besides I am sorry I failed. I’ve never failed before, if I had I would not be here." Youngbae hated feeling so defeated he’d always been so strong, he took care of everyone sitting in the room made sure they made it to practice on time, made sure they ate right, made sure they behaved well in public he even worked to cover up Jiyong and Seunghyun’s relationship. He’d always been responsible for everyone he’d known Blaise was a loose cannon he’d just thought he could handle him too, what he hadn’t counted on was having feelings for the man, feelings that infuriated him and made it difficult to think straight. If only he’d not brought this trouble upon them. If only he’d been content to be just Youngbae of Big Bang. Let Jiyong have the blaze of glory he was so loveable it was easy to be happy for him.

Finally looking up at Blaise he quietly said, finally in English, "So genius boy, what is our next move?"

Blaise felt useless, he couldn't  tell his mom that he new that she'd paid his way, and he couldn't get Cassie to stop, he couldn't get his dad to help, and he couldn't fix the problem with YG. He needed someone to talk to, someone who was outside of their problem, someone who could calm them down and help them think straight. "You did teach me something, I need help, a mother's help." Blaise's gaze glossed over slightly as he thought of exactly who would know what to tell him, even if that something was get his head out of his ass. "I'll be right back." Jacob opened his mouth to argue, but Blaise had grabbed his cellphone out of Jacob's hand and was out the door, heading to the stairwell where he first called Jacob.

Youngbae stared at Blaise’s receding figure and made to follow him but Jiyong stopped him quietly reminding him that he neither spoke English that well nor generally butted that much into private conversations. Everyone knew the stairwell was where people went to hide and they all tried to respect that. Jacob had shrugged at Youngbae, as if to say it was useless when Blaise had an idea, and soon he chose instead to ask Jacob more about this American that had supposedly caused this whole mess. Daesung still maintaining he didn’t see what the big deal was that he’d had a blast and everyone was fine. Youngbae shot Daesung an angry look and reminded him that he’d vanished into the night and passed out at some random girl’s house, that Seungro was still ill, and that Jiynog and Seunghyun faced a new round of accusations and gossip. "Not to mention," he added, "Blaise is supposed to be learning new skills and keeping a clear head this was a huge setback for his recovery, need I remind you he just got out of rehab?!"

" _Blaise! How are you mi amor?_ " A high voice with a heavy accent answered the phone in Spanish, making Blaise smile.

" _I'm- well you've probably read about my newest problem. How are the girls?_ " Blaise's Spanish was as good as his English as he relaxed into the wall, listening to the comforting voice on the other end made everything wrong seem to melt away.

" _They're wonderful, you heard Josephina was accepted into art school, with a full scholarship! She loves it!_ "

" _I'm glad, she's always been an amazing artist._ "

" _Yes, she has. Now mijo, I can hear something is wrong._ "

Blaise took a breath and nodded, though he knew she couldn't see him. " _Tía... You didn't know my mom had bribed people to get them to bring me here did you? Because everyone else seemed to know but me._ "

He heard a throat clearing on the other side and he frowned " _You know she loves you mijo, she just doesn't really know how. She thought it would help you, and she didn't think Cassidy was desperate enough to follow you halfway around the world, though obviously she was wrong. Baby, she's not a good mother, but she cares about you..._ " she paused a minute, but when Blaise stayed silent she sighed, " _Remember you can' fight fire with flame mi amor, you have to make it rain. Now I have to go, Stephi just got home from school._ "

They agreed to talk soon, and Blaise finished with " _Te Amo_   _Tía_   _Maria._ " Before hanging up the phone and sliding it into his pocket. "Make it rain..." He mumbled, not sure what to make of Mira's advice. It made sense, if he tried to fight back he would end up in another headline, but if he could convince everyone just how reformed he was he might just be able to catch Cassie in a lie.

Sliding down the hallway Blaise entered the apartment again, this time to Jacob, Daesung, and Youngbae talking between them quietly, Sunghyun and Jiyong talking to Seungri. The men looked up when Blaise came back in, this time looking disheveled, his hair looking as though he'd ran his hair through it several times, and his shirt sleeves rolled up at odd angles. "I have to apologize." He started without context, "I have to publicly apologize to YG, and Big Bang, for bringing trouble with me. I came to become something new, not repeat old mistakes, and if we can convince your fans of that, then Cassie won't have a choice but to come to someone closer to us, someone that has more control of information flow, that she'll trust enough to let them know what she's been doing."

Youngbae’s tense, angry, stance was more due to his conflicted feelings about Blaise than anything else, he smiled only slightly then quickly took his face back to a neutral gaze. "By publically you mean you want to call a press conference?” His eyes questioning as he stared at Blaise it was a brave idea if YG would allow it to publically apologize to their fans, the company and them. Youngbae knew it could go two ways and it really depended on Blaise as to which way the public took it. Right now much of South Korea was looking at him like a selfish spoiled American who thought them all fools. "You’d have to get permission from YG, and you need to understand you are apologizing for hurting more than just us, you’ve turned our fans and the people of South Korea against you simply by pulling us into this. They won’t see this as something a journalist did they will see this as something you did.” Cocking his head to the side slightly, as he waited for Jacob to translate, he took in Blaise, all angles and light, everything so innocent and soft like someone who needed to be protected. Pushing the thoughts out of his head he quickly went on, "But it’s a brave idea, and many people may see that for what it is maybe even want to give you another chance, and as long as you mean it I’ll talk to our manager about letting you stay and work with us. On two conditions, one you take this sobriety thing seriously, and two you start working harder on your Korean. If you show you want to learn our language and culture, they will feel respected, we all will, and you might find more people that speak some English when you are trying as well.” When Jacob was finished translating Youngbae looked seriously at Blaise and asked in English this time, "Deal?”

Blaise nodded fiercely as Youngbae questioned his idea, with good reason. "I understand exactly who I'm apologizing to. Most of them hate me, and think I'm the exact same addict that fell face first on their doorstep with his mommy's wallet pushing me, I brought a crazed journalist bent on ruining my life right into the lives of their favorite idols, and she is now convinced that also ruining your lives is a great idea, though they only know half the story. They also think I'm an alcoholic, rather than a cocaine addict which is much worse so they're better off not knowing, of course I believe my drug of choice has shifted once again to men who aren't so-" Blaise realized just how off topic his rant had become, and hoped silently that Jacob hadn't translated the more unsavory parts, but his hopes were dashed when Jiyong snorted, though which part he was trying not to laugh at Blaise wasn't sure.

"Anyway, I understand that I'm apologizing to the people who are the reason you all are where you are today, without them you all would be completely different people, and no one wants that." Blaise's eyes sparkled calmly as he spoke of Big Bang, three of them at least had accepted him immediately, and though it took a while the other two were coming around, until of course Cassie decided to ruin  _everything._  Most of his supposed friends had been interviewed by Cassie and had purposefully thrown him to the wolves, though he'd been the one to starve them in the first place. That was in a city where any of them would be willing to push him down to further their own careers. While here they were all wanting you to succeed, as long as you worked as hard as they did. It was different than what he was used to, but not unwelcome.

"How hard can it be to add a third language?" Blaise asked, reverting to his joking, nonchalant, tone that he usually had.

A smile crossed Youngbae's lips as Blaise spoke, "Korean isn't an easy language to learn, it's very different from Latin based languages." He said calmly, his English heavily accented, "What else do you speak?" He asked, almost as an afterthought

Blaise gave Youngbae a sarcastic look that made it look like his words were obvious, which they were, of course Korean was going to be a hell of a lot harder than English, it already was and he'd only attended one class. But when he suddenly asked what other language he knew Blaise's expression formed into a smirk. " _Español mi amor._ " He eyes flared again, but this time it was out of something other than anger.

"Hmm,” Youngbae said, "That is a good one.” He’d not understood what Blaise said no one had but the word Española was obvious. "We could use that most definitely when we play in South America or Mexico.” Adding with a smile, "We are very popular in many Spanish speaking countries and none of us speak Spanish.” Youngbae fairly calm now had finally resorted back to his broken English knowing it needed practice.

"My sobriety technically had nothing to do with alcohol, but if that's the deal I'm good for it." Blaise turned to Jacob, though his eyes were tinged red from crying earlier he had a smile on his face. "Will you call that Lawyer from YG we talked to this morning? Her extremely long name is lost to me, but she said I could stay if I could fix this mess, and that's exactly what I'm going to do." His words were formed as a request rather than an order, which surprised Jacob, but he didn't show it as he was already dialing.

Youngbae sighed and sat up higher in his chair, "I had hoped to keep the truth of your addiction to myself Blaise everyone deserves a second chance even if I didn’t think you’d try to stay away from your drugs. But you must understand the rehab center told me you should not touch anything or be in contact with any of your old friends until I was sure you were able to resist your addiction completely. Alcohol may not be your addiction but it is the gateway to lowering your inhibitions and your resistance. You must understand how important it is to stay clean. Especially in public where the rumors mostly consider you an alcoholic YG has managed to keep your true addiction quiet for your sake as well as ours.”

"Oh! Speaking of- well nothing I just remembered." Blaise dug his hand into the Vuitton shoulder bag across his body and pulled out a padded envelope with something Korean written on the front, presumably Daesung's name. He kicked his shoes off in the entryway, which he had yet to leave, and walked quickly to his friend. "The receptionist gave it to me, said it was yours."

Daesung grinned and thanked him, or he assumed that's what it meant, since he was speaking Korean again. Glancing over to the now open envelope Blaise saw Daesung's phone, and a small piece of heart shaped pink stationary with, with two Korean letters, underneath was draw half of a sun, and part of the letters were replaced with a heart as well. He couldn't help but smile, and be a little jealous and the cuteness and creativity of the fan, though she had obviously not been a fan of him.

While Jacob called YG and Blaise talked to Daesung again Youngbae watched Jiyong and Seunghyun intently. Jiyong very happy things seemed to be ok once more and Seunghyun still looking rather uncomfortable tightened his grip on Jiyong when Blaise walked toward them to hand Daesung the phone. Clearing his throat, he calmly said, "Blaise, I do think you owe one other person an apology.” Then indicating Seunghyun he said simply, "He’s rather possessive and protective and those photo’s hurt him more than he will ever admit to anyone.” Jiyong’s eyes quickly flew to Seunghyun’s as he leaned into the man that stood beside him, "It was nothing darling I swear I told you that, just two friends being silly.” Seunghyun stood unreadable and silent his grip firm on Jiyong’s shoulder holding him closer wanting desperately to whisk him away from the competition desperate to makeup and reclaim his lover but knowing this all had to be figured out first. His mind in turmoil he’d not heard Youngbae’s quiet words to Blaise as he watched the tall handsome man intently.

Blaise looked back down at Youngbae again, but this time the idol was looking over at Seunghyun and Jiyong, who were even closer than usual, but not being overly inappropriate, simply sweet. "What? But we didn't do anything, that was really just Cassie making shit up, again. You know I fucked most of Los Angeles too, that's what she writes anyway." His words did nothing to soothe the situation, only made the elder look up with a protective glare, and Jiyong said something quietly in his ear trying to calm him down. "Dude, no offense Ji, but you aren't even my type. If I was going to hit on either of you, it would be him. I like guys who hug me and have enough muscle to crush me, not ones that will help me decide on which skirt I'm buying, not that I actually brought any with me this time, Jacob said it was a bad idea." He shrugged, as if what he'd said was completely normal.

When Daesung lifted the paper to his nose and smiled Youngbae’s attention shot to him curiously. "What is it Daesung?" he asked but Daesung only grinned like an idiot and read the paper again. Then turning on his phone he flipped to the photos and smiled as he said to himself quietly, "I thought I’d dreamt her! I wish I knew how to find her." Looking at him Youngbae smiled with realization and said, "She’ll be at our next local show, VIP with meet and greet, you will see her again if you want to. I gave her the info as a thank you for keeping you safe and out of the media. She contacted me with your phone a very sweet and sensible girl as I remember her friend back at the club was helpful as well in finding you safely."

Grinning at Daesung's note, the pictures on his phone, and the flowery smell that was lightly falling from the inside of the envelope. "It looks like you've found your knight in shining armor Dae." Blaise smiled at his friend and sent him a wink.

Looking at Jiyong, Youngbae saw only amusement but Seunghyun looked both taken aback and slightly more irritated. Glancing back a Jacob who was still on his phone Youngbae moved closer to Blaise and quietly pulled him aside. "Lesson one today, if you want this to work, if you want these people, all of us to accept you as family and not just feeling we are being paid to care for you then you need to learn, how to say you are sorry for hurting someone." He was now so close to Blaise he could feel his warmth as he whispered in his ear, "You may not have intentionally done anything, but you still hurt Seunghyun’s feelings and caused he and Jiyong to fight, there are still photos of his boyfriend and you all over each other on the internet, the story still said Jiyong was cheating." Taking a deep breath his nose filled with the scent of Blaise’s hair and skin and a small shudder ran through him, taking a quick step back he said quietly, it’s not a matter of did you try to steal his, uh, Jiyong, it’s a matter of his hurt feelings. Are you not sorry you hurt his feelings even if it was by accident?"

Youngbae was suddenly next to him, a warm hand under his elbow pulling him towards the open kitchen in the corner. "I thought it was-" Blaise began to cut in, but Youngbae didn't stop speaking, or rather whispering, right into his ear. It was hard to concentrate on the words the man's breath played over the side of his neck, though he was much shorter the stance was far from awkward, in fact it made Blaise want to wrap his arms around the shorter, much stronger, man. Holding back Blaise's hands tightened around themselves and he could feel a blush crawl up his neck and across his cheeks. He silently hoped it wasn't noticeable as he nodded "I didn't- didn't think..." He said lamely, avoiding eye contact with Youngbae as he willed his emotions to control themselves. "Of course I'm sorry, I thought that much was obvious, I'm trying to fix it...." He leaned his hands back against the counter, the air between the pair suddenly growing cold as Youngbae stepped back quickly.

After Jacob got off the phone and confirmed YG would be setting up a press conference and that Blaise would be required to meet with their publicity and legal divisions in the days to come to set up everything he added that everyone was on a media lockdown. "No one leaves this building without a YG escort and no one goes anywhere but home, school or practice. Then looking at Daesung he sighed and absolutely no outside contact buddy, if she’s worth it you’ll find her again when this mess is over."

Everything being said in both English and Korean Jacob glanced from Blaise to Youngbae and quietly asked if Blaise was ready to go. Youngbae not wanting Blaise to leave yet was confused as to why found himself saying, "I decided not to toss his things out the door last night Jacob, if YG says it’s ok it’s probably better for him to stay." Then quickly adding to cover up his words, "You know it would look better if you left without him let it be seen that we believe in him is all."

Jacob nodded in agreement and patted Blaise on he shoulder on his way out, telling him to call if anything else came up. The evening was uneventful, Seunghyun and Jiyong had finally escaped to their room to _sleep_ , as if any of them believed that's what they were doing, and Seungri and Daesung wrapped back up into their game, leaving Blaise and Youngbae practically alone. It was strange as Blaise walked back into their room to change into more comfortable clothes, he still couldn't figure out why Youngbae had been so insistent on him staying. He wanted more than anything to know the reason had to do with them, just the two of them, but he knew it was wishful thinking, he probably just wanted to make sure he didn't get into any more trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Sorry for the longer chapter! I may or may not post a new one next week because I'll be about to get on a cruise, but I won't be gone long!


	7. Just Give Me Some Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it's been over a year you guys. I'm so sorry. Honestly I didn't really think many people were really interested so I stopped posting, but I didn't stop writing. It's an ongoing story, one that's gotten way longer over the course of this year. I've been working on trimming it down to the most important scenes so that you don't get too bored with me. I hope I still have a few people who are interested! 
> 
> Also this wonderful person Axelspeed commented a few days ago and completely recharged my effort on this story. Hopefully you're not disappointed!

The next three weeks passed quickly, between practice for the show in Tokyo which was to include Youngbae's first solo single, and work on the songs for his album, he still had to squeeze on time to work with Blaise on his pronunciation for his speech. Sure the Korean tutor they'd hired was great and all but Youngbae found himself wanting to help. He wasn't completely sure if he actually wanted to help, or if he enjoyed watching Blaise actually work so hard for something he couldn't just throw money at. Youngbae found himself believing in him even proud of him, his dedication in classes and practice when the Korean tutor let him attend them showed a new desire to be more than others thought of him. Blaise wasn't even conversational really, he was memorizing more than actually learning the language for now, but that's what he would need to stand in front of a dozen cameras and issue an apology, there would be no questions. They could work on actually learning how to hold a conversation later, regardless Blaise was doing well, better than expected, though the attitude had yet to diminish.

The night before the conference he'd wanted to talk to Blaise alone wanted to tell him how proud he was of the way he'd been working and behaving but there was so much last minute preparation that he'd not had the chance, standing in a waiting area for the presentation conference to begin Youngbae was watching Blaise closely, the boy was staring at his own reflection, looking somewhat lost, slipping up beside him the elder whispered just loud enough for him to hear, "You're so much more than you know Blaise, be calm, be strong, not everyone is hoping to see you fail. Some people believe in you more than you know."

Blaise whipped his head around when he felt someone step up next to him and saw Youngbae's slicked up black hair in the mirror. He felt different, from when he'd left the US, from when he'd gotten here, from just a few days ago, could he really do this? He'd never been great at public speaking, unless his audience was already mostly intoxicated, but the quiet English words brought him back into the present. It seemed that he wasn't the only one working on a second language, who had Youngbae been practicing with? Recently the man was always polite, but never really talked to him much outside of helping him with his Korean. He wasn't even sure how to answer him, a simple thank you, it seemed worn out, but the pair were interrupted when Daesung bounded up to them with a smile.

"You have an English and a Korean teleprompter they will run together if you lose your way in Korean switch to English the people will still appreciate your efforts. Youngbae looked offended on Blaise's behalf, though the younger looked more appreciative than anything, even as Youngbae's hand gripped the taller man's arm without realizing he was doing it, "Blaise is perfectly capable of this, he's practiced, his pronunciation is very good, he can do this all in Korean just like he wants to." Daesung merely grinned at them both knowingly and walked away.

Blaise didn't get the chance to thank Daesung, but he took the short moment he had Youngbae to himself to pull him into a tight hug, "Thanks... For everything..." He mumbled before breaking away from him hurriedly, not a moment before the rest of their friends walked through the door. He didn't notice the light blush that took over Youngbae's features for a few seconds, or how quiet he was as they were led to the conference room, too distracted by the others giving him advice, and his own nervous heartbeat pounding in his ears.

Up until it was time for him to speak Blaise was in a blur, apparently he had a fear of public speaking, a fear he'd never had to touch before, it wasn't like web interviews, it was more like getting interrogated, but everything was prewritten. Finally, it was time for Blaise to step up, and Youngbae was right behind him when he heard his whisper words of encouragement. He glanced at Jacob, who was standing just barely backstage, and got another nod, and a smile. Taking a breath as Youngbae had advised Blaise began. Explaining that he hadn't come with malicious intentions, rather to start again, somewhere where he wasn't a renowned failure. It was his fault that the party was ruined, he'd brought people into their lives that wished ill among them, and he was sorry. He spoke in detail of how much Big Bang and YG had done for him since he'd arrived, and how he was going to try even harder to make it up to them. He apologized for the rumors that could have been avoided, and for letting things get too far out of hand, and finally he apologized directly to Big Bang's fans, the few fans he had left.

His eyes swept the audience as he stepped away from the microphones, bright auburn hair and a round face hidden behind large glasses caught his eye, the girl who'd pushed past him at the YG office, the pen in her hand moved quickly across the page, a pink crown shaped charm bouncing up and down on the end. She looked up at him just as he was being pulled away by Jacob and Youngbae, both smiling at him brightly.

Daesung was busy pushing between them, almost making it to the edge of the stage when Youngbae caught his arm. "That’s her!" he said quickly as he turned to leap back out onto the stage, but Youngbae was faster than him.

"Not such a good idea, I promise I’ll help you find her soon. But this is not the time." Daesung glared at his friend, for the moment didn't argue.

Instead looking sulkily at Seungri, who just winked, "We’ll find her, Bae picked you up at her house, remember?"

Apparently Daesung didn't remember, at least according to the look on his face as he turn to Youngbae, "Seriously!? You’ve known this whole time?"

Youngbae rolled his eyes at the younger, though the smile on his face was apparent. "Lockdown means lockdown." His smile turned up into an innocent smirk as he shrugged, "I’d flip through my contacts, she’s a smart girl, she’d be a fool not have added her number to your phone." Pulling it from his pocket Daesung began scanning contacts for her name.

It was calm again, the boys all chatting together as they waited for the building to clear. Even Youngbae was smiling and chatting, they were happy and that was definitely something Blaise could get used to.

Youngbae kept one eye on Blaise as they visited, about the press conference, about Daesung's mystery girl, what they were having for dinner, he was still hoping that this stunt would work not only to stop the rumors but also to lure the cause of all this drama out into the open. Youngbae had intentionally placed himself nearest Blaise during the conference and also intentionally glared at Blaise slightly through it all. His hope was Cassie would see him as the kink in Big Bang’s armor and go after him for a chance at Blaise. He’d been untouched by the party’s escapades having no rumored ties to anyone there and not been there himself he was the perfect one for her to hit up. He stood just off to the side and let everyone have Blaise, part of him proud of him and part of him jealous that Blaise seemed to be ignoring him. Youngbae was unsure why but he felt protectively drawn to the man as if they were connected in some way it made him uncomfortable yet could not bring himself to push away.

His thoughts were interrupted by Daesung suddenly exclaiming, "She’s real! She already texted me back!"

Grinning at Daesung he said, "What did she say?"

Daesung beamed, holding his phone up as if it was the most interesting thing in the world, "I told her who I was and asked if she remembered me and she said of course she did." Pink dusted his cheeks as he continued with a grin, "She also said I looked handsome today but that I should at least pretend to brush my hair sometimes."

Jiyong chuckled quietly, stretched out across the couch like a cat with his head in Seunghyun's lap, "Don't I say that all the time."

The eldest among them rolled his eyes, at the pout on Daesung's lips, "He tells you both that quite often actually." He said, rather than indulging him.

As they continued to chat amongst themselves Youngbae finally found a chance to speak to Blaise alone. "You did good kid," he grinned at him sheepishly, "I have to admit I am proud of you. Impressed by your Korean, I wasn’t sure you had it in you." He stood so close to Blaise now as he spoke looking up at the taller man, it was strange seeing him with so little makeup, and someone how he was even more beautiful. He’d been about to reach up and tuck a loose strand of hair out of Blaise’s face when the moment was, thankfully, shattered by the arrival of Jacob who quickly clapped Blaise on the back before pulling him into a hug leaving Youngbae’s hand there slightly twitching by his side. What had he been thinking? Quietly he said, "I think I need to get some air." Then slipping on the hoodie and dark glasses he’d arrived in he quickly exited the building.

He was headed in no particular direction just needing to get some distance between him and Blaise in order to clear his head. As he walked he let his eyes wander over every girl he passed, all so soft and pretty as he told himself over and over that they were much more attractive than Blaise. But with each girl he found fault or flaw, not as tall as Blaise, not as soft as Blaise, not Blaise. Deciding not to go home yet he instead headed for the studio, he felt safe there, felt calm and more at home than their dorm. His mind so full of his own thoughts and fears as he walked he never noticed the tall, thin, redhead who followed him closely

Turning the corner toward the studio he heard his name spoken in a thick accent, New York if he wasn't mistaken, and he turned quietly toward her. In his best English he answered her, the language barrier enough to mask what was going through his head. "Depends on who is asking."

She smiled knowingly and walked up to him. "Cassidy Q, I’m a freelance journalist from the US covering this mess with the brat who’s currently trying to ruin your life." The grin on her face twisted Youngbae's stomach, she was so proud of her work, and it was nothing more glorified hate mail.

Youngbae swallowed hard and fought the urge to punch her in the face as he smiled politely and said, "Ah yes! You wrote about the party, I still cannot believe the company is sweeping this under the rug," he gritted his teeth and continued knowing this was part of their plan, reminding himself he was betraying no one. "Everyone knows that boy is nothing but trouble I only wish I had more on him in order to rid myself of him. Sadly without proof or help I’m stuck with the rich spoiled punk apparently mommy’s money talks a great deal."

Youngbae felt horrible for the words he spoke, but Cassidy grinned wider than ever. "Oh I have plenty; I know EVERYTHING about him. Meet me tomorrow morning for coffee and I will bring photos and even more proof, I can even introduce you to the people who saw it all happen." Youngbae took the offered card and flipping it over acknowledged he knew the place and promised to be there by nine in the morning before wishing her farewell with a wave and a smile.

Slipping into the studio silently Youngbae felt ill. Unable to even think about what to do before he even realized what he was doing he was texting Blaise. -It worked, she’s already tracked me down. She truly hates you. I still don’t like it though I feel so dirty just from talking to her.- Slipping into the nearest practice room he slid down the wall to hide. Wishing Blaise was here to talk to and then wondering why he wanted him here so badly. His life was so much less complicated before Blaise had arrived and yet the idea of him leaving made him desperately sad. He'd been so focused on his music, his career, and this kid was just so damn distracting. He couldn't help but think it wasn't fair.

So many thoughts went through his head, everything in him wanted a chance at figuring out what this was between him and Blaise, but his mind kept reminding him it couldn't happen. He couldn't let it happen. It was wrong, it would ruin his career. He'd had the chance to send Blaise away, and yet he'd worked twice as hard to keep the boy here. This silly, spoiled, American, who drove him absolutely crazy. It wasn't fair, if he'd never met his mother than this would have never been a problem. Everything would be back to normal, but still, to imagine his world now without Blaise in it? He didn't want that either.

He hadn't noticed the door opposite him open, he hadn't realized that he'd been arguing with himself out loud, though his voice was quiet. Chiffon's voice broke into his thoughts and he stared up at her, the light from the door barely illuminated the dark studio. "Everything happens for a reason baby, if you want him to leave, send him away, if you want him to stay, accept what you feel and see where it takes you." Youngbae opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head with a smile, "Don't beat yourself up about it, just left it happen. I mean, did we turn our backs on Seunghyun when he finally fell into his depression? No, we backed him up, and helped him up. We stood behind him, we stood behind Blaise, we'll stand behind you no matter what you choose. We're a team. Not just you five boys, all of us. Think on it..." She trailed off, leaving him there in the dark, and texting the only person who she knew could try and fix it.

 

*******************************

 

It could have been minutes it could have been hours, Youngbae had no idea but when he heard the knock on the door he jumped ready to run before he could move however the door opened quietly and a voice reached into the dark. His heart stopped when he heard his name, whispered into the darkness, he knew the voice immediately but hesitated staying quiet. He could hear Blaise breathing as the man stepped into the dark and quietly asked, in Korean no less, "Are you here?"

With a quiet laugh he relaxed more, and staying against the wall said quietly in English, "Your pronunciation is getting better."

He laughed when Blaise silently approached and slid down the wall beside him saying "Yours isn't."

They sat against the wall in silence a for a while, Blaise's quiet presence bringing Youngbae some peace. He could feel Blaise beside him, feel the heat of his body, hear his breathing, and there in the dark his fears slowly faded. Without thinking he laced his fingers into Blaise's and lay his head against the taller man's shoulder. "I'm not gay you know," he said quietly, "You understand that right?" He'd been repeating those words to himself over and over today. He was sure he was attracted to women yet his body seemed to crave Blaise, it made him wonder if that was how an addict felt about their drug. Again he was quiet a long time.

"I was one of the youngest trainees here, did you know that? Auditioned when I was only six. I never once regretted it, I love what I do, I never questioned the decision to be in the constant spotlight." Youngbae said matter of factly, "Not until recently." Running his thumb absent-mindedly Blaise's hand he asked, "Did you ever want anything as badly as I wanted this career?" Youngbae was quiet again for awhile before adding, "Jiyong and Seunghyun, they are Big Bang's leaders, they can get away with things the rest of us can't. There is no Big Bang without the infamous G-Dragon and T. O. P. is the face of Big Bang, Daesung and Seungri are the maknae line, it's helpful when they get into trouble because they're just like that." Pulling his head off Blaise's shoulder he turned to face him and said finally, "Then there's me. Everyone expects perfection of me every moment of everyday. I don't have time for complications, I don't have time for this." He finished as he reached up and brushed a stray strand of blonde hair out of Blaise's eyes. Suddenly realizing what he had said and done he froze and stammered, "I mean not that there is a this, or uh, I mean," staring into the blue eyes almost invisible in the darkness he finally stated simple, "I'm not gay Blaise but something about you threatens to undo everything I am, everything I've worked for." Gently brushing his fingers along Blaise's sharp jawline, he smiled sadly, "You understand right? I'd have to be indispensable to have the ability to be like Jiyong and Seunghyun and not get kicked out."

Youngbae's hand came up slowly, running his fingers through the younger's hair. He involuntarily leaned his head into Youngbae's hand, but felt him tense. "I don't understand all of it, I've known my preferences since middle school, and no one questioned me. I've always had that freedom... I didn't mean to... I wasn't even single when I got here, I mean I guess I was, but I didn't want to believe it yet... But since then... You guys are the closest thing I've had to real friends, besides Jacob, who my mother pays to be my friend... She's paying you too, but it feels different... I'm not sure if I'm still here because of your album or because you didn't want me to leave, or both... I'm not completely sure I want to know which." His voice had lowered slightly, bringing his own hand up to lay it over Youngbae's, which was still barely brushing his cheek. "I just really don't want to leave now." He finally whispered, "I don't think you understand either. Bae, your fans say it all the time, five minus one equals zero. The only one who is still dispensable is be, and I'm sort of okay with that. I don't want to be in the spotlight anymore, I'd like to leave that to people who are actually good at it."

Youngbae let himself smile gently and shook his head, "You know Jacob would still be here whether your mother was paying him or not. But that goes both ways for us. Are you choosing to stay now, or is your mother still forcing you? Are you only staying because your mother will pull my funding? Because that's pity I don't need. The question is, will you run away as soon as this is over?"

Blaise shook his head and squeezed his fingers around the hand still holding his own, "My mother isn't forcing me to do anything, and if she pulled your project I would do everything in my power to fix it. I'm not going anywhere, there's nowhere else I want to be."

The smile on Youngbae's face stirred the butterflies in Blaise's stomach and he couldn't help but mirror the expression in the dimly lit room. "I'll cancel the contract with your mother if it'll convince you that this is different. I want you to stay because you want to, not for anyone else." Blaise laughed gently and leaned against Youngbae as the elder continued. "I'm still not gay, not in this industry, I can't be, I'll lose everything." He turned to study Blaise's profile, it was perfect, irritatingly perfect, and he looked at Youngbae with another shining smile. "You confuse me a great deal Blaise Warwick, just give me some time." He finally said, wrapping his arm around Blaise's slim shoulders and pulling him even closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for reading, and if I've made any glaringly obvious errors, feel free to let me know.


	8. Confused Confessions.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaise and Youngbae spend a little bit of quality time together, and it's sort of a shock to both of them.

“I did hate you when you arrived, you know.” Youngbae admitted quietly, “I hated everything about your spoiled ass, I studied you before you came. I knew everything there was to know about you, and at first I was absolutely right, but then you made me wonder, made me question, was what I read correct?” Youngbae took a deep breath as he again processed everything that had happened since Blaise arrived. He thought about the contract with Blaise's mother, about what she’d said about her son, and sighed. This was more complicated than he’d expected, he’d grown attached. Sure he’d hated Blaise at first but now… Did he?

The confession made Blaise look sadly at Youngbae who took a settling breath as he reached up to brush his fingers along the boy's cheek. Everything in him screamed this was wrong, that he should stop, but his heart wouldn’t let him and he couldn't help but he smiled at the younger man. Blaise’s hand cupped his own and their eyes met. Nothing made Youngbae more unsure of his decision to stop this insane behavior quite like Blaise’s perfect blue eyes staring back at him. He had to fight the urge to close the gap and kiss the pretty pale lips that had drawn into a pout.

Once he was standing he shook off his disquieted feelings and smiled at Blaise as he offered his hand to pull the man up. Reaching out to balance the younger gently without pulling him close again. Leading Blaise to the edge of the room Youngbae reached up to retrieve a pullover hoodie of his own and smiled at Blaise. “Here wear this, that sweater is entirely too loud we’ll never make it home unnoticed.” Blaise started to argue and Youngbae laughed, " Come on, it’s adorable, but yellow is way too bright to make it home without drawing attention to us.” He couldn't quite hide the fact that the smile his comment put on Blaise's face was just as adorable, and he tried to look away as Blaise reached down to follow his direction and pull off his own sweater. 

Youngbae sucked in a breath of air as he watched Blaise shed the bright sweater and drop stuff it into Youngbae's bag, the beautiful man standing there half naked in front of him was making it very difficult for Youngbae to think or breath as he stared a little too openly at Blaise who finally pulled the hoodie on over his torso. It was too big for him, sure Blaise was easily taller than Youngbae, but he was also tiny, where the dancer was build like a brick wall. Finally able to breath again Youngbae reached up to pull the hood over Blaise’s head and tucked away his platinum locks, hiding them under the hood before finally pulling him out into the dark night.

Rather than heading for the main gate, however, and a car home, Youngbae tugged Blaise off to a quiet side exit, leading to a small dark street, barely big enough for a single car to drive down. The streetlamps were dim, shops closed and empty, honestly Blaise would have been nervous if his fingers hadn't been intertwined with Youngbae's. Two blocks further they turned into an alley that was, to Blaise's surprise, even smaller, except this time there was no light to lead the way. Youngbae didn't stop, it was like he knew exactly where he was going, even in the dark. Tugging on Blaise when he felt the younger shiver slightly he turned and smiled, “Don’t you trust me?” his grin was mischievous as Blaise blinked and nodded, a spark of worry in his eyes. Moments later they walked through a chain link gate and it was like someone had turned the volume up. He could hear laughter, music, not overwhelmingly loud, but enough to startle him slightly. 

Youngbae smirked at his reaction and finally they emerged in a dingy, yet fairly brightly lit, street market. Everyone was smiling, and no one cared who they were. Young children ran playing well past bed time while older children worked and parents, tired from a long days work drank, ate, visited and worked alongside each other. He could see the surprise in Blaise's eyes as the sights and smells washed over him, spicy snacks, sweet breads, fryers sizzling on both sides. People were visiting over prices, clothing, jewelry, trinkets, both handmade and what he was sure were ripoffs of designer merchandise. He wasn't even sure what to focus on first, making Youngbae chuckle at the younger as he tried to take in everything.

Grinning Youngbae greeted the young teenage girl running the first booth they came too a he ordered two Dakkochi. He’d known the girl since her childhood, they’d grown up in the same small town down south but her family like him had moved to the city in search of a better life. They chatted while she flipped the skewers on the grill expertly before serving them. Youngbae grinning at Blaise as he offered the man a skewer of meat and a dish of sauce. “Its super spicy,” he said smiling, “But delicious, nothing like the rich expensive foods you are used to.” Thanking her for his own Youngbae slipped a large tip into the jar as he chatted with the girl about school and asked after her parents and siblings. Blaise pulled the meat between his lips the meat hot the sauce spicy and grinned at Youngbae making the elder blush involuntarily blush brightly. What was wrong with him? Just that look shouldn't have affected him like it did. He shook it off and dropped a few extra bills in the girls hand before they walked away. 

Slowly the two men wandered the market snacking on different street foods and looking for something to bring home. Youngbae giggling at Blaise’s antics along the way as the two enjoyed the evening their fingers lacing together more and more often as they strolled along. When Blaise found the silk scarves he oohed and ahhed over them as he tried to choose one, Youngbae laughing and shaking his head over and over until he twisted the simple sky blue silk around his neck and smirked. Youngbae’s breath caught in his chest as he watched the way Blaise’s eyes twinkled with the matching blue scarf. They matched perfectly and took Youngbae’s breath away as he silently paid the owner of the booth, pushing Blaise’s hand out of the way when he tried to pay instead. The younger argued even after they left saying he’d have paid for it making Youngbae smile, “It’s your hyung’s job to take care of you sweetie.” He said quietly not thinking about what he was even saying as he watched Blaise blush.

After a couple of hours wandering, visiting, buying things they probably didn't need, eating more than they should have, and giggling at practically everything, Youngbae had forgotten to be uncomfortable as he held Blaise’s hand gently smiling as he pretended not to notice Blaise dropping a few hundred dollars on the counter as he picked up one more snack from the very first booth they'd visited. Youngbae couldn’t remember the last he’d smiled so much but the walk home was quiet, as the two walked through the dark streets. Youngbae was used to the back streets as he lead the younger home but Blaise was full of questions. Not until the harsh light of the YG building did Youngbae let go of Blaise, his demeanor turning cold and professional as they walked up the stairs to the entrance. He’d begun to apologize to security when the man waved him off. “Chiffon called and said you were working late sir, no problem at all.”

“Remind me to thank her later,” Youngbae said to Blaise a small smile on his lips, as the two men walked straight to the elevator and Youngbae pushed the button not relaxing until the door closed behind them at which time he grinned and tucked Blaise’s hand back into his own his smile lonely as he looked at Blaise. “Tonight, was fun,” he muttered, “But it has to end like this, we can't... You understand right?” Blaise looked sad, lonely even after such a fun night, but also curious. When the door opened Youngbae let go of Blaise feeling even more lonely than before as he led the way to the apartment. Blaise following behind him watched sadly at the way the older man’s shoulders slowly squared back into the tension he always seemed to carry.

As soon as the door closed behind them Youngbae shifted back to _mom mode_ seeing the two youngest asleep in the living room, dirty dishes on the table, food on the counter between the kitchen and common room. He’d immediately started to work picking up a glass and staking dishes. He’d have stayed up all night cleaning had Blaise not taken the cups out of his hands and put them down. Youngbae stared at Blaise in shock as the younger man merely smiled shaking his head, “They are grown ass men they can take care of themselves.” Before Youngbae could argue Blaise had pulled him into their room smiling at the elder sweetly. Too many questions in his mind to wait. Youngbae started to argue but Blaise cut him off with questions of his own.

“How were they all so happy? I mean they looked like they barely had anything at all, but they were some of the nicest people I've ever met! And I probably sound like a complete idiot, but really, I thought... Well I don't know what I thought, but it definitely wasn't that!" Blaise whispered as soon as the door closed behind them making Youngbae turn and look almost astonished at him.

“Money doesn’t buy happiness Blaise you, of all people, should know that. When was the last time you were truly happy?” Then regaining himself he smiled patiently, “They look like they have nothing, but they have community and love. They all work together, help each other. Even if they are alone they are not alone the younger families take care of the widows, the grandmothers watch all the children while their parents work, they share everything. The little one running the food cart we talked to, Sooyoung, she wants to be a doctor, the whole neighborhood is working to try to help her go to school, and when she makes it she will serve the same community, it’s our way.” He said not realizing how he'd said it as as he pulled off his hoodie and changed from his jeans to baggy shorts without thinking about it.

With his questions answered Blaise thought about when the last time he was really happy was, "Right now... I'm happy now, here." he said suddenly, his tone serious, Youngbae’s borrowed hoodie falling onto Blaise's pillow as Blaise caught his eye. Our way, Blaise stayed silent for a moment more, unsure if Youngbae had meant to say it, but it had been said nonetheless. Choosing not to ask another question Blaise turned back to his closet, trying to not openly stare as Youngbae was changing clothes, though it was a difficult task to tear his eyes away from the tanned muscles that ran up his torso.

It had been an exhausting day but Youngbae knew sleep was not in the cards, what with a morning meeting with that horrid American woman looming over him making him nervous, and his confusion over Blaise, which rather than being soothed had exploded exponentially as he watched him move about their room. Youngbae sat on his bed leaning against the wall knowing he should look away but as Blaise shed the hoodie and busied himself putting the new scarf away wearing only the tightest skinny jeans Youngbae had ever seen it was impossible. He was again struck by how flawless the snowy white skin was especially against the black and he suddenly heard himself say, “Blaise, if you are not too tired we can watch a movie, my computer has several good ones on it.” He’d already reached up for his computer and was opening it when he realized how foolish this was, he was supposed to be discouraging this, this, this nothing it was absolutely nothing just two friends who happened to be guys watching a movie together nothing more just friends it was fine. Perfectly fine. Peeling his eyes off of Blaise he repeated again, “ _I am not gay, I like girls, we’re just, just, just friends. Yep just friends._ ” Youngbae muttered to himself while he busied himself queuing up a movie. He’d chosen the new Fast and Furious, which wasn't even out on DVD yet, and it was not a chick flick which made it safe. Looking back up at Blaise he whispered to himself again, “ _Just friends._ ” He’d watched lots of movies curled up on a bed leaning against a wall with Jiyoung they’d been best friends longer than he’d known anyone else in the group so it was perfectly acceptable even if he’d never looked at Jiyoung the way he seemed to look at Blaise.

"I'm not tired at all, and a movie sounds wonderful." Blaise said smiling brightly and, without donning another shirt, he sat down next to Youngbae, close, but not too close, he had a feeling that all too soon Youngbae would revert back to denying his obvious feelings, but until then Blaise slipped his thin hand into Youngbae's strong and gentle grip. He hoped the morning would never come if it made Youngbae lose interest in him, he didn't think he could handle it, not after tonight.

The pair fell asleep leaning against the wall on Youngbae's twin size bed, throughout the movie they'd slowly gotten closer, and about halfway through Blaise fell asleep, curled up much smaller than it seemed possible for such a tall person, but with his head against Youngbae's chest he breathed evenly, finally not worrying about what would come the next morning.

Without any conscious knowledge of it Youngbae found himself pulling closer to Blaise like a moth to a flame it was odd the effect the man had on him, and although in the light of day this could have been something Youngbae avoided here in the privacy of their room sitting in the dark it felt perfect. Soon their shoulders, their hips, then their legs, were touching as they both seemed to crave the same contact. It was peaceful and nice as they sat in silence the only sounds were the movie and their own bodies. Before it was over Blaise had fallen asleep curled up against Youngbae and as the silence came he sat in the dark and listened to their hearts beating Blaise’s was steady and slow while his own beat harder skipping slightly now and then when Blaise’s breath tickled his chest. Finally, after watching Blaise sleep for quite a while he pulled them both down onto the bed and keeping Blaise in his arms he laid the man beside him.

Youngbae froze as Blaise moved momentarily before peacefully burying his face back into him. Once he was sure Blaise was asleep he began to brush his fingers gently along the contours of Blaise’s shoulder, his jaw, his heart nearly beating out of his chest as he traced the muscles of Blaise’s torso as if trying to memorize every inch of him. Youngbae knew this was not ok and it could not last, but his heart was in direct contrast to his brain as he struggled to figure out what to do. In a whisper he talked to Blaise, told him how beautiful he was, how difficult it would be to stop these feelings even though he knew he must and quietly asked Blaise’s forgiveness for seemingly toying with the man’s emotions. “If only we lived in a different time, in a different place, somewhere that I could stay with you like this and show you how special you truly are.” He found himself whispering. Sure, he was not gay he’d always found girls very attractive, but he wondered if any girl’s soul would attach itself to his as Blaise’s had. Not wanting to miss a moment of his limited time with Blaise he talked and caressed the man until the sun was peeking out over the horizon.

Slipping out of bed he covered Blaise carefully and brushed his lips gently across the man’s cheek as he whispered. “I am glad you are happy here Blaise.” Then slipping on some jeans, a white tank top and a black leather jacket he pulled a hat down over his hair and slipped out the door headed for his meeting with Cassidy.

Blaise, still mostly asleep, felt the absence of Youngbae before he was conscious enough to realize he was gone, though he still slept soundly. He could still feel the ghost of a touch, he already missed it, but it also made him want to lay there for the rest of the day. The gentle energy around the light kiss on his cheek had faded almost completely, and Blaise finally started to wake up. His eyes opened quicker than he would have liked as what felt like a very large toddler jumped onto the bed, what he knew was definitely not Youngbae.

He stared into the overly excited eyes of Jiyoung and glanced, squinting, at the sunshine that was pouring in through the open window. Sitting up he felt the blanket fall off of him and stifling a yawn he blinked slightly, not having the chance to say anything before Jiyoung said, "Out all night, and you wake up in another man's bed. Do tell!" He pointed at the center of Blaise's bare chest and his grin got, impossibly, wider. "And you're NAKED?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! Finally another chapter! We're going to try and be more active! Fleur wrote most of this one, she had more time than me this time. But we're going to try to work together more to get more out. Thank you guys!!


	9. Except maybe... Lost?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're both lost, and a little overdramatic.

Seunghyun and Youngbae wandered the quiet sub-level garage before the elder finally pushed the matter on both of their minds. His friend was on edge, and he knew him well enough to figure out that the younger couldn't be forced. Youngbae tried to pass off his nerves as a side effect from his meeting with Cassidy, but Seunghyun knew there was more too it. He knew something had happened the night before; he'd noticed Youngbae's absence, seen Blaise pacing, he hadn't missed the call that had ended with Blaise vanishing in an instant to be gone the rest of the night. Sure, Chiffon had called to tell them to call off the search for Youngbae, but that hadn't explained why both men had been out almost all night. He couldn't make Youngbae talk to him, but he wasn't buying into his excuses either, so he stayed silent. When it was apparent Seunghyun wasn't going to let it go, Youngbae sighed, "How do you do it Hyung? How do you keep from splitting in two? I mean you are a straight man in love with another man... How did you even come to that realization? It doesn't make any sense."

Seunghyun smiled sadly at his friend and said quietly, "Blaise?" Youngbae's silent reaction was all the elder needed to know his assumption was correct.

Youngbae stopped pacing for a moment and looked at Seunghyun indecision in his eyes before blushing deeply and asking the question he was almost too afraid to ask. "I'm straight, and Catholic, I mean you know how traditional my family is, I've never even kissed anyone before if it wasn't for a music video, and it was a stage kiss. I just... I can't stop thinking about him." He sounded a little desperate as he looked up at his friend, someone he respected, admired, and cared about. The look he received in turn was understanding, more than any of his other friends. "How did you reconcile these two pieces of yourself? How did you make this work? I don't know what to do hyung." He felt lost, suddenly everything in his life that had been meticulously mapped out and planned felt like it could dissolve instantly if he made one wrong decision.  

They stayed hidden for a fair amount of time, Seunghyun trying to talk him off the ledge he'd cornered himself onto, telling him to relax, advising him that decisions didn't all have to be made immediately, and what his hyung said made sense. Except there was still that one little piece he hadn't shared, the little piece of doubt Cassidy had placed in him when she'd laughed at him and told him about Nathan. She’d been so excited to quote straight from emails and texts between the two men, loved watching Youngbae’s face as he tried not to react to the texts she claimed Blaise had sent to his supposed ex-boyfriend about how much he hated Korea and how together they’d ruin the _Chink boys_ and get him out of the _third world country_ he was stuck in. She’d told Youngbae about Blaise’s emails to friends detailing how much he hated being there and learning their stupid customs and language. No, he chose to internalize that part of the conversation, it wasn’t true, right? So why should he worry anyone… Except part of him was going to worry about it constantly, for how long? He wasn't sure.

 

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Blaise let himself be teased by Jiyong while he changed clothes, correcting the man’s obvious assumptions. “I wasn’t naked jeez, and all we did was talk and sleep! Stop already.” When Jiyong kept on, he changed tactics and asked, “Where’s Seunghyun anyways aren’t you two always joined at the hip?

Jiyong only giggled as he lounged on the bed and dramatically replied, “My honey is gone with yours, should we be worried?”

Blushing Blaise had corrected him, “Youngbae is not my honey, well, not yet anyway…” He turned to catch Jiyong's smirk with a lazy eye roll, though honestly he felt fairly subconscious at the thought and finished getting dressed in silence after checking his messages to find nothing from Youngbae.

Jiyong pulled him back to the present when he grabbed his wrist and proceeded to drag him to the common room saying, “So anyway, I need your opinion on something, since the others seriously have no proper fashion sense at all. Hell, even Seunghyun doesn’t get the theme.”  Blaise plucked an orange from the counter and nodded for Jiyong to continue. That was all the encouragement the man needed to leap headlong into his ideas for the group collaboration they were debuting in Japan. “What do you think about bow ties, polka dots, candy, and trench coats?” He’d asked excitedly as he pulled out his phone and started showing Blaise his sketches for the group's costumes, "I mean it's Japan, we can do practically _anything._ "

With this Blaise was in his element as he grinned and chatted with Jiyong about the different outfits. “I love the concept! But I think these pants should be tighter, they'd hang way too loose like that.” he’d said pointing to one drawing before flipping to another. “And here. I think we swap this vest for a Letterman jacket." He caught Jiyong's bright grin and matched, shrugging as he suggested, "And maybe he could just lose the shirt completely, oh and put that hat over there on-” His words were cut off when the door opened, and Jiyong quickly snatched the phone and hid it swiping the file closed in a moment.

Blaise’s excited smile was quickly replaced with a shy one as the men’s eyes met for a split second before Youngbae looked away. His face falling as the elder simply ignored him once more. Youngbae filled them in on his meeting with Cassidy, again leaving out the parts about Nathan and his still by her accounts constant communication with Blaise. He’d know soon enough if it was true because the sting wouldn’t work if Nathan were tipped off by Blaise.

 

***********************************************

 

Three months went by, three long months of recording, rehearsals and hard work. Cassidy had practically dispatched herself this time and was now out of their way, banned even being near them for now which was nice. Her existence and what she’d told Youngbae still made him nervous though, especially because her _Expose_ articles in the USA had not stopped, and she was persistently trying to cause trouble from a distance. Of course, none of them had time to deal with it YG’s lawyers were handling the fallout they were busy, the annual YG family concert was coming up, and Big Bang was working double time with 2NE1 to get their collaborative stage perfected. They also had several photo shoots, a commercial, which was a full-length MV, and that didn’t even include recording the song as well.

None of them had time for personal lives, Youngbae would tumble home in the middle of the night and leave before dawn most days. Blaise even played his part; he’d become the assistant to their head stylist Su Dae. She’d loved Blaise’s ideas and fashion sense and the way Youngbae listened to him, the boy was always a bit stubborn about costuming, but he didn’t argue much with Blaise about it, choosing merely to pout or glare instead. The big test had been the first big photo shoot when Youngbae saw the complete look he’d started to argue, but Blaise had managed to contain him fairly quickly much to Youngbae’s own irritation. No one knew just how much Youngbae thought about Blaise, no one but Jiyong; the man was his best friend and the only person he’d confided his full feelings in. Of course, he hadn’t admitted to the photos of his current roommate or the way he practically stalked Blaise to make sure he was keeping out of trouble, and though he also still hadn’t told him about all of Cassidy’s texts yet, he had talked to him about Nathan.

Only three weeks before the big show in Tokyo Blaise’s own career was starting to pick up again, and he was shipped off for a week-long modeling gig in Shanghai, followed by another week in Taiwan. Blaise was back the week before Tokyo, and although Youngbae had missed him terribly he didn’t know how to act opting instead for silence, he was always sweet, making sure Blaise ate, making sure he was comfortable or warm, but never did he go further. The problem was Youngbae was falling, he couldn’t keep his eyes off the younger, and he’d taken to watching him when the younger wasn’t looking. He felt a bit like a creep as he snapped candid photos of Blaise without the boy’s knowledge, he couldn’t help it he was falling too deep Blaise was all he could think about. He’d been mortified with himself the night he’d come home and found Blaise in the shower with the bathroom door standing open, Youngbae had watched the man for far too long even considered joining him as he chewed his lip. The unsettled feelings he had made it hard to think as he watched Blaise more and more often, the guilt was eating him alive. He needed to take action but how? What? Kick him out? Move? Admit he liked him and hope Blaise felt the same? He’d even lay there one night and considered just crawling into bed with him, but he was still getting updates on his personal phone about Blaise and Nathan’s conversations, Blaise had invited Nathan to Tokyo for god’s sake he wasn’t interested!

 

**************************************************

 

Blaise didn’t know what to do, the tension between the two men was thick, only when Youngbae was asleep did it ease up. The confusing part was how sweet the man was being. Sure he was cold and professional but still sweet, taking care of Blaise in little ways and he was so sure sometimes when he’d feel eyes on him, and turn that there was a wistful look in Youngbae’s eyes right before he closed him out again.

He’d confided in Jiyong and Su Dae while they worked on the concept and both told him over and over not to give up hope, to be patient. Su Dae had noticed the way Youngbae watched the tall blonde, and honestly, Jiyong flat out knew how badly his friend pined after him, he’d told him over and over to get the fuck _over_ the whole gay, not gay thing and ask Blaise out. Of course, straight men were so stubborn he’d thought as he rolled his eyes and smiled at Blaise telling him for the thousandth time to be patient. “He’s a moron Blaise, I mean I love him and all but he’s not the brightest crayon in the box.” He’d told him one night, another few shots and he probably would have spilled his entire knowledge of the other man’s situation, but Seunghyun had shown up and carted his lover off to bed leaving Blaise to think alone.

Finally, it was time to head to the airport, all their preparations were complete, they were packed, and the cars were loaded as they piled into the dark SUV amid screaming fans. Youngbae was tense, nervous; he’d received yet another message from Cassidy toying with him as she warned him about Nathan’s upcoming visit to Japan.

The fans at the airport were loud, and YG’s golden idols played their parts perfectly, greeting fans and bowing on their way through the crowds while their managers and security worked to keep the people at bay. Even Blaise had some fans with sparkling signs he’d already had several modeling jobs and ever since his public apology he’d been garnering his own popularity thanks in part to the owner of a certain Big Bang fan page who was currently secretly dating one, Kang Daesung. Through security and finally on the plane everyone settled into the seats for takeoff, Seunghyun and Jiyong falling asleep almost immediately from lack of sleep the night before, Seungri and Daesung sat together playing games and laughing, while Youngbae plopped down in the seat next to Blaise nervously. The tension between them was even worse than normal, and for the life of him Blaise couldn't really figure out why. A soon as the plane was off the ground he’d jumped up and Joined his friend, and fellow artist, Park Bom who’d been hogging the double seat to herself. Flipping her feet out of the way he’d plopped down and sighed.

Blaise was tired of the tension and was just turning to confront Youngbae when the idol jumped up and was gone. Blaise’s eye followed him his mouth still open with the unspoken question. His sulk deepened, and he shook his head. Fine, if Youngbae was mad at him for some unknown reason he wasn’t going to beg, he’d done that enough for one lifetime. The problem was everything in him wanted to spring up and follow him force him to tell him what was wrong. Instead, he tucked his long legs under him, careful to shed his shoes first so that he could keep his crisp white skinny jeans clean, and tucked his headphones on before leaning against the window his eyes on his phone where watched the newest Big Bang video collaboration with 2NE1. He smiled at the outfits he, Jiyong, and Su Dae had designed it was bright and beautiful too bad he only had eyes for one person on the screen. When the song changed, he hit the lock button and let the music play as he watched the landscape of Korea change below, but his attention kept wandering up to the man a few rows up that he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of for too long.

Youngbae and Bom visited about nothing, in particular, Youngbae asked about her not so secret boyfriend that their company did not approve of, about her family, about random things he already knew the answer too he avoided the subject he wasn’t ready to talk about.  “So, are you going to talk to me about it Oppa or just stare into space asking questions you already know the answer too?” Bom finally asked her friend. Youngbae blinked several times but stared straight ahead. “Dammit, Youngbae! Talk to me!” she finally demanded.

Taken aback by her tone Youngbae looked at her seriously, “There is nothing to talk about Bom.” He sighed, “I’m fine, everything is fine, I’m just tired is all.”

Glaring at Youngbae Bom took a deep breath before she spoke again, “He stares at you constantly Bae, and you have an entire file on your phone full of photos of him.” She observed pointing to the current gallery open on his phone. “Seriously! Does he know you take pictures of him all the time? Does he know you watch him as much as he watches you?”

Youngbae blushed as he slipped his phone into his pocket and protested, “ _What_?! No, it’s not like that. It’s, well, I’m not, he’s not, you know… I’m not gay, and he’s not interested.” Bom stared at him, but didn’t argue she was about to when he continued. “Besides, he has Nathan, and he won't stop lying to me about him.”

Bom’s eyes opened wide in surprise, “Are you so sure about that?” Youngbae merely nodded sadly making her shake her head, “He watches you constantly, he looks at you like you are the only person in the room. Even when he’s busy when you walk into a room he notices, and suddenly you are the only person in the room. There is no way he’s still into Nathan; you shouldn't even worry about that.”

With an exasperated sigh, Youngbae looked at her as if he was explaining something to a small child and said, “I’m not gay, he owes me nothing, and he has been talking to Nathan, I know he has. Cassidy sent me the messages. He hates me, and he hates Korea, he hates all of us.”

“You may not be gay, but you are a dumbass.” Bom stated irritably, “Blaise only has eyes for you, and since when do we believe anything that horrid woman says? For god’s sake _block her number_!” Youngbae lamely played the I’m not gay card one last time making Bom roll her eyes, “Yea, neither is Seunghyun Oppa.” Then with a quick shove, she pushed Youngbae out of the seat, “Stop being a chicken shit Dong Youngbae and go fucking talk to him!” She said before plopping her feet into the seat once more ending the conversation by putting on her headphones.

Pouting Youngbae searched for a place to go to avoid Blaise but finding none he finally slipped back into his seat next to the sleeping beauty. He stared at Blaise for a few minutes unable to find his voice and finally put his headphones on. Turning the music up he busied himself flipping through the photos in his secret Blaise file; why did he even have this file? He should delete it. But when the photo flipped up with Blaise standing there shirtless in front of the bathroom mirror his thumb grazed the photo before blushing and flipping to the next. He thought about Cassidy’s message; she’d called him a lovesick fool, said Nathan would be there to collect his favorite toy and there was nothing he could do about it. It made him sick the way Cassidy and Nathan acted like Blaise was not even a human being but an object to be toyed with. But he’d been very clear with Blaise that there was nothing between them that there would be nothing between them, he had no rights to the pretty blonde no claims to his affection or loyalty. If Blaise wanted his old boyfriend back, he had no right to be jealous. That didn’t mean he wasn’t, but he still had no right. Youngbae moved closer to the sleeping figure next to him, just until their legs touched, just barely. He needed the contact; it seemed he never slept anymore unless Blaise was close by. The calming effect that Blaise had on his soul contradicted the agitation Blaise caused in his heart it was confusing, frustrating and beautiful as he sighed and let sleep take him.

Blaise didn’t move a muscle as Youngbae returned, but he was hyper-aware of the elder as Youngbae slipped into the seat silently and slowly moved until their legs just barely brushed together. The warmth of Youngbae shot straight through Blaise even if he was still angry with the idol. Opening his eyes, he smiled at Youngbae just as the man closed his eyes to sleep. Blaise listened to his breathing as it evened out and wished he could lean in and curl up into his arms, let the man’s head rest on his shoulder but rather than touch him Blaise locked his own hands in his lap as he tried not to stare at the sleeping figure beside him.

A slight movement made his eyes flick to the phone in Youngbae’s sleeping hand, and he saw his own smiling face staring up at him. He remembered why he was smiling, trying not to burst out laughing, in the photo. Daesung had just accidentally sent a photo of himself to Jiyong rather than his not so secret girlfriend, and Jiyong had followed up by sharing the picture with the entire band and all the trainees, though Blaise didn't remember Youngbae taking pictures himself. The picture changed and again it was Blaise, this time laying on the floor of the studio dramatically letting them know that his legs were never going to work again, but he didn't remember Bae taking this one either. The slideshow progressed, some showed him laughing, a few sleeping ones from car rides or falling asleep in the living room. One with Blaise wrestling with Seungri and Daesung, who were making fun of him for the first he wore sweatpants, ever, and one of him sitting on the hood of Jacob's car, refusing to get off until Jacob promised he'd teach him how to drive after Tokyo. He tried to picture Youngbae taking the pictures, and he could remember Bae in each scenario, but he didn't even notice the phone that now seemed ever present in his hand. It was sweet, and it gave him a bit of hope, but he was sure that Youngbae hadn't meant for him to see. He reached over gently and hit the lock button on the side of Bae's phone, brushing his hand with his own before shutting his eyes to take a cat nap of his own before they landed.

When the plane, landed Youngbae woke up with a start glancing over at Blaise who was still asleep he sighed with both relief and resignation. Part of him so glad he didn’t have to have the conversation and part of him terrified they’d never have it. He got up and got his things together placing Blaise’s things in his seat beside the sleeping man before gently waking him up. “Were on the ground Blaise,” he’d said matter of factly as he gently pushed Blaise’s carry on toward him. Blaise smiled at the gentle touch that woke him up and gathered his bags that had been placed in his seat. He tried more than once to speak to Youngbae, but the singer was always one step ahead of him still avoiding the topic at hand.

Exiting customs, the crowd was deafening as they rushed through the airport. Youngbae had searched every white or American looking face but he’d not seen Nathan, the thought made him relax but only slightly as they reached the SUV and clambered in. The artists were all shoved into two dark unmarked SUV’s while all of their luggage had been whisked off to the hotel in others. Rehearsal was first, before food, before check-in, before rest. Blaise watched Youngbae through the airport and slipped into the car next to him sandwiched between Youngbae and Daesung he smiled across to Jiyong who was pushed between Seungri and Seunghyun. He’d finally started to relax between them when Jiyong sent Youngbae a pointed look and glanced at Blaise, the others making a point to ignore the three. His phone dinged, and a message from Bom pressed him to stop stalling. Leaning back against the seat next to Blaise he asked as casually as he could, “So, is Nathan coming to Tokyo to see you this week?” 

The shock on Blaise’s face as he suddenly looked at Youngbae made the singer cringe, his confidence that had been almost nonexistent was gone. “Wait? What? Nathan?” Blaise asked looking completely confused and slightly hurt. Turning to look at Youngbae he said quickly, “I haven’t talked to him in weeks, he emailed me a couple of days ago saying good luck in Tokyo, but I didn't answer him, and he didn’t say anything about coming though. I don’t think I’d want him to anyway, unless he’s turned around completely from the last time I saw him…” Blaise folded his arms, though he didn’t have much room and defiantly looked at Youngbae, “So is _that_  what’s been wrong? You think I’m still-?”

“Not that it matters, or its any of my business,” Youngbae suddenly stuttered, “I’d just, you know, heard he might be coming and well…” He blushed and finished quickly with, “Sorry its really none of my business, I never should have asked.” Before he quickly looked away and out the window effectively pushing the wall back up between the two men.  He didn’t want to know; he was afraid to know.  
The others looked like they were pretending n

ot to listen to every word of the conversation, though even in whispers the whole car could hear. Blaise lowered his voice another notch as he leaned toward Youngbae and whispered, “I thought it was me… I thought maybe you didn’t…” he stopped again, thinking about the pictures on Youngbae’s phone, “He's not, and he won’t be there, not for me.” He promised, though the word itself was never said.

Youngbae shifted away from Blaise, the atmosphere somehow darker than before. So, he had heard from Nathan, Cassidy hadn’t lied about that. Youngbae quietly processed the information trying to remind himself that he had no right to be upset or jealous. Between his own worries and thoughts and Blaise’s words he only caught part of what the younger was saying. Irritable and blind with jealousy he had no right to feel Youngbae felt his chest choke up as if someone had punched him. Why did it even matter so much he asked himself? He hated this feeling, maybe Blaise needed to just run off with his stupid fucking boyfriend and let Youngbae find peace again. But the idea made him nauseous. Finally, he said quietly, his heart aching from the defeat he felt was imminent, "But if he has changed, if he's not like before," his breath hitched as he finished, "You'd want him back. You still love him." 

The idea made Youngbae sick; he told himself he'd kept Blaise away because there was nothing there but the idea of losing him to this awful American made him ill. Blaise felt like his heart might break at the lost tone in Youngbae's voice. "I don't, you of all people should know that."Even as Blaise promised Nathan wouldn't be there Youngbae doubted him, "You say he won't be, but what if he is? If he comes to take you back to society where you belong, you'll go." It wasn't a question, it was the defeated answer of a man who knew he'd lost. Nathan would show up and whisk Blaise away even though he didn't care about Blaise; he would because he didn't want to lose.

  
Blaise took a shaky breath and met Youngbae's eyes before he answered him "If he comes, which I doubt, he'll be sadly mistaken. What would I be going back to? Parties and designer drugs, that's not what I want anymore. I belong here." His words seemed lost on Youngbae when he looked away from him again, and even with their closeness, he felt alone.

Youngbae felt eyes on him as he leaped from the SUV and headed into the venue to practice, he actively worked to ignore it, but once they were all unloaded at the venue everyone had a job to do, no one had time to worry about anything other than the show. Blaise joined Su Dae as the stylist unpacked wardrobes for the idols and made last minute adjustments. While the idols poured themselves into one last rehearsal, sure they’d have soundcheck tomorrow but this as the last time they could tweak or change anything, and they all knew how important this show was. Youngbae used the time to forget the problems on his mind concentrate on the performances; he had to actively avoid and ignore Jiyong however as the leader didn’t seem keen on letting the conversation in the car go even if it hadn’t involved him. When practice was finished several hours later Youngbae was wet with sweat his shirt clinging to his muscular body but unlike his friends who cleaned up and changed he just threw a hoodie on and headed to the first car available, avoiding the questioning eyes of several including Bom and Jiyong. Seungri and Daesung joined him in a hurry to get back to the hotel, and they were off with a few other YG artists.

The car ride back was quiet and uneventful, and Youngbae smiled at fans and waved as he headed into the hotel with the other idols and dancers who had taken the first car back. Meeting the manager in the lobby, he took his key and groaned, of course, Blaise was his roommate he’d signed the fucking contract the brat was his problem. In the elevator, he sighed, was it the loss of the contract or the loss of Blaise that was upsetting him so much? He tried to convince himself it was the contract but deep down he knew that was not the case. He’d only just closed the door and started unpacking his bag that had been delivered when the door opened Blaise walked in. He looked timid and yet somehow defiant the whole thing was confusing as he awkwardly covered his currently naked torso and excused himself. Youngbae didn’t shower but he did clean up and put on a dry shirt before emerging from the bathroom still avoiding Blaise’s eyes.

Blaise felt the tension, he’d felt it in the venue, he’d felt it in the car on the way to the hotel and Youngbae wasn’t even with him. He’d picked up his key and headed to his room half expecting Youngbae to have switched rooms, but when he opened the door Adonis stood before him all sculpted tan muscle and messy hair, his sweats slung low on his waist his shirt gone. He stood there and admired Youngbae until the idol realized he was there and quickly vanished into the bathroom. The signals were confusing, to say the least. The elder had been so possessively annoyed about even the idea of Nathan and yet now was ignoring him completely. Pushing the thoughts from his mind, he turned to unpack, halfway through his phone beeped, and Seungri was inviting everyone to eat and play poker. Moments later Youngbae had emerged and Blaise mentioned the idea shyly.

The younger looked at him irritably a hint of worry on his face, “I think we are all playing cards in Seungri’s room.” He said quietly. Youngbae hated how awkward it felt between them but had no idea how to fix it. Still unsure who was lying to him Blaise or Cassie and Nathan. Blaise looked at him expectantly having already changed clothes and mentioned dinner as well. Finally, Youngbae quietly nodded and followed the younger to the Maknae lines room for dinner and poker.

The group of friends played cards for several hours, Youngbae played poorly but laughed a great deal, the laughter however never reached his eyes as he forced himself to appear normal while also pretending not to stare at Blaise. There was so much he’d wanted to do with Blaise on this trip, show him around Tokyo Dome especially those sweet seats in the worst section that had the best sound in the building. Instead, however, he was dreading the next night knowing what was coming, why did it matter so much to him was still a heavy burden on his mind as he watched Blaise laugh with Jiyong. Interestingly enough Youngbae noted Blaise’s smile never seemed to be truly genuine either. The whole night was confusing; he had no right to be jealous, and yet he was desperately so. Youngbae reasoned to himself he should talk to Blaise alone, admit everything ask him not to leave but honestly what he could he possibly offer the man that Nathan didn’t? Besides how did you ask someone you’d spent the last few months pushing away to please consider staying? Especially when you were offering nothing in return, he had no intentions on pursuing a relationship with Blaise he just didn’t want to share him or lose him.

Several hours later he watched Youngbae, the idol had been off all night, and Blaise knew he was upset but wasn’t sure how to approach it at all. He watched as Youngbae tossed his cards in irritably and claimed he didn’t feel well before quickly taking off. Before Blaise could follow him, Jiyong was up and headed out, only to be stopped by Seunghyun who quietly said. “This is between Blaise and Youngbae, not you baby.” 

Jiyong, however, was not one to be quiet or to be stopped tonight as he argued rather loudly, “But Blaise doesn’t even know what’s wrong. It’s not fair!” The whole group went silent everyone pretending not to listen. Jiyong knew everything, he’d been Youngbae’s confidant, but he was about to break that confidence all to hell. 

Blaise got up at exactly the same time as Jiyong, Seunghyun's whisper stopped him, though it wasn't directed toward him. He hadn't understood what he'd said, but Jiyong’s voice was louder. "You know what's wrong with him..?"

Everyone stared in shocked silence as Jiyong spoke, “He thinks you are getting back together with Nathan and is convinced Nathan is here in Japan to sweep you away tomorrow after the show, he thinks you invited him here and that you hate being stuck with us in Seoul. He knows he's got no right to be upset or jealous, but he is, and he won't just talk to you. The whole thing is ridiculous he pretends the five of us, well four are as clueless as you've been, don't you see the way he looks at you, he tries to hide it, but we know, like we, of all people, would care about that."

  
Seunghyun squeezed his lovers arm gently as he tried to calm him down, "It's just his way of coping,” he whispered, “Admitting you may love someone you are not supposed to love is not easy Jiyong. Trust me." They grew quiet as they waited for some type of reaction to follow the shock that seemed to have taken over Blaise.

"No. Nonono..." Blaise said quietly, listening to Jiyong's quick explanation. "He _has_ got the right; he doesn't want it! This whole thing is so ridiculous- he's just such a- he's so stupid- I'd never- he's seen proof I wouldn't go back with Nathan! I can't believe-" He didn't finish the sentence as he shot out of the room after him.

After the two men had left Seunghyun looked at Seungri and Daesung and almost growled, “No more betting on Tae and Blaise. Need I remind you they are our _friends_.” As he snatched the cards and ended the game for the night before leading his own lover back to their room, still annoyed at his breach of confidence.

Youngbae hurried down the hallway slipping his key into the door only to freeze when he heard his name being called.

"Youngbae? Youngbae!" He called after his friend, "You are quite possibly the dumbest person I've ever met!" he said, louder than he meant to, as hot tears were slowly pooling in his eyes. Of course, he hadn't meant what he said, but he couldn't find another way to tell Youngbae just how wrong he was. He caught up to him and reached out to wrap his cool fingers around Youngbae's retreating arm, "Your stupid questions and stupid hints and your stupid refusal to even talk to me and your stupid assumptions and your stupid jealousy over something that will never happen again! Never! You've seen the pictures, why would I go back to that? No one changes that much, and there are things that makeup doesn't cover up." he pulled Youngbae to a stop and reached up to attempt to meet his eye. "You have to believe me Youngbae, please, things are different, I'm different."

“I am not dumb!” Youngbae argued, standing in the doorway watching Blaise run toward him. Turning to slip into the room he was too shocked to move as Blaise reached him and wrapped his fingers around his arm pulling him back. He did not turn as Blaise began to speak, Youngbae could hear the tears in his voice, but his defenses were up, “I am NOT Jealous! I have no right to be! It’s your own life Blaise I can’t live it for you!” But as he argued his voice wavered, he’d seen pictures, things that had not even made the papers, he’d seen police reports that even Blaise did not know he’d seen he knew how violent Nathan’s temper had been. “But you said! You said If he changed enough. I heard you say it, and she told me you’d go back to him. She told me I was a fool.” Blaise jerked his arm forcing him to turn and look at him his sad red eyes struggling not to cry met Blaise’s tear-filled eyes. “But how can I believe you? You said you were not talking to him, but he’s been talking to you!” Pulling his arm away he said quietly, “Besides, I have no right to be jealous or tell you who you can talk to.”

Blaise shoved his finger into Youngbae's chest and argued back, "If you weren’t so stubborn you'd realize how dumb you are being, I said if he'd turned around completely I wouldn't want him banned from the city of Tokyo, not that I'd want to go back with him! You have to get it through that thick skull of yours that you don't have to want the right to be jealous for me to give it to you, I want you to be jealous Dong Youngbae. I don't want you to be worried I'm going to jump anyone who walks my way, but I want you. I want you to want me; I want you to want me enough to be _jealous_."

Blaise argued but Youngbae grew darker, “But I don’t have the right, I pushed you away. I gave up that right before I knew I wanted it.” Blaise’s words slowly sunk in and before he realized what he was doing, he reached out and snatched Blaise by the arm and jerked him into the darkness of their room closing the door behind them. Pushing Blaise against the door as he closed it, and Youngbae ran his fingers along Blaise’s hands, arms and up to his shoulders, brushing them gently along the man’s softly chiseled jaw. He pressed himself desperately against the other man, as he buried his face in Blaise’s neck, breathing as if his life depended on it. “You can’t leave with Nathan when he comes for you. I wouldn't live through it.”

Blaise hadn’t said anything, as the elder’s hands explored his arms, shoulders, neck, not wanting to accidentally say something that would make Youngbae stop. When he’d moved closer and pushed his face into Blaise's neck the taller man's arms had easily wrapped around him as he whispered into Youngbae’s ear. "Now who's being the dramatic one?”

His heart choked in his chest as he spoke desperately, “I know I don’t have the right to ask you to stay when you deserve a lover, not just a friend, but I cannot stand the idea of you leaving me. I don’t care about the project I just need you to promise me you will stay.” He’d spoken the words in haste his lips pressed against Blaise’s collarbone, before suddenly pushing away. “I’m sorry. I’ve already said we can't be together like that; I am _not_ gay, I know I'm asking a lot. I’m not sure what's wrong with me tonight, maybe I am sick or something...” He said pulling away into the shadows of their room. Part of him desperate for Blaise to follow him and part of him terrified Blaise might actually follow him.

Before he was a foot away, however, Blaise closed the distance again, and Youngbae, no longer possessing the ability to push Blaise away, wrapped his arms around him once more pulling him closer as Blaise spoke. “I won't leave, I promise, and we're more than friends, if we weren't none of this would be happening... I don't think there's really a word for what we are, except maybe... Lost?"

Youngbae stood there for a great deal of time, going over Blaise’s words in his head before he finally loosened his grip but only partially. “Do you want to watch a movie,” he asked shyly as he pulled Blaise toward one of the two beds in the room, “We can watch anything you want. I have lots of them on my computer. Or if you are tired you can sleep and I’ll, well I’ll uh let you sleep. Tomorrow is a big day, your new ridiculous outfits for the live show are going to be revealed, I hear from Su Dae that I’ll be barely dressed and wearing pink, I guess that is your fault isn’t it.” He growled slightly his voice deep but not angry as he kept his arms around Blaise. Youngbae felt both more confused and yet more comfortable than he had in weeks as he smiled at Blaise guiltily and wiped the tears from the man’s eyes. “I didn’t mean to make you cry you know.” He said awkwardly.

Youngbae watched a tear slip down Blaise’s face as the younger man smiled at him before slowly backing toward the bed, pulling Youngbae with him until they were up against the edge of Youngbae’s bed. Nodding Blaise kissed Youngbae lightly on the cheek and said, “I know, you've been busy and stressed, and Nathan and Cassie aren't even here and their  _still_  ruining things, I'm sorry, I should have known what was bothering you." He pulled Youngbae onto the bed, both of them yawning now. "Come on; we're both going to sleep." Without the elder fighting, they curled up against each other, not even bothering to change clothes as their limbs intertwined and they finally fell asleep together.


	10. Jealousy looks good on you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Warning for mentions of drug use, abusive relationships, and non-con* Nothing goes too far before it's stopped, but it's still there, so now you're aware.
> 
> I know we rarely update this, and we're so sorry to make you guys wait! Hopefully you enjoy this chapter!

Jiyong wasted no time in pointing out Youngbae’s attire and messy hair with a quick wink to Blaise for good measure. Youngbae blushed as he looked at Seunghyun who only smiled lightly and looked right back out the window. It was a short ride to the venue but Youngbae was quick to  pull Blaise closer to him, his arms looping easily around the man’s waist. "Will you watch us perform tonight?" he asked in a whisper. Everyone else in the car pretended not to notice as Youngbae’s face seemed to find its way into Blaise’s neck. He took the opportunity to commit the smell and feel of him solidly in his memory before the day’s events pulled them apart.

 

Jumping from the car at the venue, the idol released Blaise quickly as the cameras began to flash and the fans screamed; but once they were safely in Big Bang’s dressing room Youngbae slipped up behind Blaise and pulled him close again, whispering, "I’ll wear anything you want for the show if it will make you happy, even those horrible pink pants." 

 

Blaise turned around in Youngbae's soft grip and grinned. "Anything is a broad concept," he said quietly, his tone mischievous and his eyes daring the elder to challenge him. Everywhere they touched it felt like fire and ice melded together, and Blaise let his head drop gently onto Youngbae's shoulder.

 

While they waited, Youngbae pulled Blaise into a corner where the two visited quietly. Youngbae’s hands were ever present on Blaise, brushing his hair out of his eyes or running a finger along his arm, his boldness due mostly to the privacy of this dressing room and the knowledge that at least the other people in this room would guard this new secret with their lives. Brushing his finger lightly across Blaise’s lips he reminded himself that straight men did not kiss men. His rationale might not make sense, but it was all he had now.

 

Finally pulled from their corner by calls, Youngbae reluctantly let go of Blaise as he followed the rest of Big bang to hair and makeup. "I guess I’ll see you in Wardrobe," he whispered to Blaise as he followed the rest of the group out. 

 

Reluctantly pulling apart, Blaise kissed Youngbae on the cheek and nodded, "I'll be waiting, and remember, you said anything." he waved back to him and the rest before slipping out a different door and texting Su Dae to let her know he was here. Meeting up with her she took one look at his outfit and laughed loudly, then throwing him a clean pair of skinny jeans and a grey sweater she shook her head. "That’s no way for the new head styling assistant to dress, go change!" Without further explanation, Blaise hurried to throw on the clean clothes and stepped back out into a whirlwind of costume changes, clouds of glitter, hair spray fumes, and smiling faces. He was immediately put to work with bands he barely knew through his still somewhat flimsy Korean, but every show went off stunningly smooth, and though many times Blaise was out of breath from running after an idol who'd forgotten their hat or smudged their eyeliner, he thrived in the environment. 

 

As soon as the door closed, Jiyong was on Youngbae with a thousand questions and comments, the obvious quickly pointed out when Jiyong mentioned that he was still wearing last night’s clothes, making him wish his best friend would shut up for once in his life. He turned to Seunghyun for help but all he’d received was a quirked eyebrow and a smile, asking if he’d ever known Jiyong to stop. Finally, in a bid to shut him up he whispered, "Jiyong, you know if anything too crazy had happened, I’d at least be wearing different clothes, right?"

 

Rather than shut Jiyong up, however, the comment only fueled the fire. He could have been upset, but he was too happy to be upset with anyone right now; he was too happy to even be concerned by possible rumors at the moment. They were more than friends, he thought as he recalled Blaise’s words from the night before and wondered if they’d eventually find their way.

 

The day flew by, Youngbae barely seeing Blaise at all as both young men stayed busy, one in the spotlight and one learning the in’s and out’s of being a stylist at a show like this one. One of many had become ill and left a spot open, one Su Dae, the senior stylist, had to fill. Not having an assistant of her own, she’d promoted Blaise to help her and therefore, in addition to being in charge of all Big Bang’s wardrobe, they were also overseeing the other stylists in charge of the rest of the talents' wardrobe. Being one of the main attractions meant Big Bang spent a great deal of the day doing meet and greets and offering support for other bands, and because of this, Youngbae had not yet received the message from Nathan, the one he’d find later that would again attempt to rock his world out of focus.

 

The final performances were getting lined up in wardrobe and Youngbae, excited to get onstage only saw Blaise briefly as he took his first change of clothing and slipped out to head onstage, suddenly accosted by makeup who began powdering his chest. Since when did he need extra sparkle on his chest, he’d begun to ask before noting the grin on Blaise’s face. Attempting a glare, he ended up laughing as he ran for his mark and they hit the stage. Several clothing changes later, they were headed to the stage for a big finale, a finale which included bright pink pants, glitter, a ridiculous hat, and crazy hair. The crowd roared as the beat dropped and the world stood still. Youngbae was in his element and doing what he did best, what he was born to do.

 

From backstage, Blaise was watching the show on TV screen just outside the stage, until a shadow loomed over Blaise’s shoulder. "Hey baby," a familiar American voice made the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

 

"Nathan..? What the-" 

 

Blaise was cut off as a strong hand landed on his shoulder. "I’ve missed you." He heard as Nathan reached down and gripped Blaise’s arm tightly pulling him close as he wrapped his arms around him, holding him too tightly from behind, he whispered into his ear. "How’ve you been, brat?" He kissed from the collar of his shirt, up the pale skin of his neck, running his lips along Blaise’s earlobe. 

 

"Nate- Stop it- Get-" he pulled at Nathan grip, but it did nothing to help, and the bigger man easily pulled him farther down the hallway, pushing him hard into the wall, his back slamming into the hard surface with a thump.

 

As the song finished and the bands began to leave the stage, Blaise tried to shout out for help when a hand pressed against the base of his throat. "Stop... Nathan...." his breath came short as Nathan pressed him harder into the wall and the belt on his Violet jeans clicked open and Blaise put up his hands to push Nathan away again, though before he could Nathan kissed him roughly, claiming his mouth just as Blaise tried again to argue. His struggling heightened, and he pushed harder at his assailant. "I'm not- I-" he tried to say, but Nathan wouldn't stop. "Can't do it... I can't go." He was breathless again, his face pained and his arms still pushing at the bigger man, but it did nothing to get Nathan away from him.

 

Youngbae came bounding off stage all buzz and excitement and began looking for Blaise to razz him about the pink pants he’d made him wear. But his jovial happy mood turned immediately as his eyes fell on the couple making out against the wall. The hat he’d been holding slipped from his grasp as he paled. He felt physically ill. He felt like a fool. Blaise, obviously well versed in how to get what he wanted from men and women, he’d heard, had already moved on. What an idiot he’d been. Cassie had warned him, and Nathan had as well. Anger flared as he pulled security aside and asked, "how in the hell did he get back here?" The man looked at who Youngbae had asked about and said simply, "personal invite, he had the VIP blue pass only provided by band members said he got it from his boyfriend, I’d guess from the looks of it that’s his boyfriend sir." Youngbae had seen enough and turned to leave, not just to leave but to run as fast as he could from the pain he felt as he watched Blaise and Nathan make out passionately with no remorse or thought for anyone but themselves.

 

Youngbae couldn't believe what he was watching transpire, and after he'd made such a fool out of himself in front of everyone. He'd actually held him in front of them and let Blaise kiss his cheek. Rushing away from the sight, he turned into a doorway blindly punching the wall as he did so, his fist leaving a mark in the drywall as he came face to face with Hyorin. Her bright smile turned to concern as she saw his face. "W-what's wrong Bae?" she stammered as he stood before her looking ill. 

 

Looking at her, his eyes hollow, he said in a hurt tone, "talk to him, you said. Ask him, you said. Well I did, and he lied to me!" Staring at him eye to eye she quietly asked, him what he was talking about. He said quickly, "Nathan is here, wearing a private issue VIP backstage pass Blaise sent him. You can ask them yourself if you can get them to stop the sex show they've started down the hall long enough." Then pushing past her Youngbae fled the scene. Pushing past groups of artists who began to scatter as the angry idol rushed down the hall.

 

Youngbae did not go unnoticed by Nathan, and once he knew he’d made his point he pulled his mouth from Blaise’s, his hand already down his pants as he whispered to him. "Come on brat, I’ve got a car waiting, and it’s been too long." Nathan intended to take Blaise with him; he knew Blaise’s weaknesses, knew exactly how he liked to be touched, he’d even brought his drug of choice, but if the boy decided to argue. He was not above putting his brute force into it as well. Blaise had never told Nathan no; he’d tried once and ended up with more than a black eye. He’d been really rough on him that night, even after he’d beat him into submission.

 

Nathan growled, “can’t or won’t, Blaise?” before twisting his arm harder. Unused to hearing no and unable to even consider Blaise refusing him. Nathan closed his other hand around Blaise’s neck as the smaller man squirmed trying to twist away. “If I have to, I will choke you out right here and take you with me little boy,” he said darkly. “I didn’t come all the way to Tokyo to be told no by a kid who has never known what's best for him. You are back on your game, and my career needs you, so you will be coming back with me. You're MINE.” Nathan knew Blaise’s arm would be bruising in his hand, but he didn’t care as he pressed harder on Blaise’s windpipe. Nathan felt Blaise momentarily relax and smiled, “That’s my good little boy. Now let’s go, before I decide to make you suck my dick in front of your shitty new friends.” Releasing his hand from Blaise’s neck he ran his fingers over the skin that would soon bear a purpling bruise. Curling his arm around him to keep Blaise locked beside him with his hand twisted tightly behind his back Nathan began to forcibly walk Blaise out as he whispered, “don’t worry, lover. I have plenty of your favorite, and enough pain killers in the car to knock you out for the whole flight home. You’ll be as good as new in no time.” 

 

Blaise heard another door shut and looked up to see Jiyong and Seunghyun walk through the hallway, their eyes catching him as they turned to see where the voices were coming from. Whining out, Blaise struggled again as they looked up at him. The harsh words, this time a little too loud, also brought the attention of security who’d been passing by. They'd been taught for so long to ignore idol's . . . extracurricular activities backstage that they'd paid them no attention until Nathan made himself a little too obvious.

 

Before Blaise could say anything, Nathan pulled his arm tight and swiped his elbow backwards, right into Blaise's nose. The blond went limp for long enough for Nathan to attempt to drag him away, but now he was a little distracted by the security guard that had started pulling him away from Blaise, who was on the floor and could barely make out the loud voice of Jiyong yelling for him.

 

Everything happened too quickly after that, and in moments, the room was in complete chaos. What Nathan had not counted on was Blaise having friends, and that those friends might not stand by and watch. Within seconds, Jiyong was launching himself at the bear sized American, only to have Seunghyun pull him back and motion for security. Daesung, hearing the commotion, ran into the room with his phone out, on it a picture of the man who'd stolen Sun's pass. Security seemed to appear from every direction, and as guards and police tried to sort out the mess Jacob came wandering in with Hyon Sun in hand, “I found this pretty little-”

 

His eyes took in the scene, Nathan being pulled away from a form on the ground as he cursed and released one more kick at the man’s ribs, Blaise laying limp on the floor in a crumpled mess, the normally calm Seunghyun yelling at security to get him out of the room, Jiyong calling to them for first aid to help Blaise, Daesung rushing up to Hyon Sun, his face filled with relief; the room was a mess of yelling and arguing as they finally pinned Nathan to the ground.

 

Everyone not part of the chaos stood in awe of the chaos. As Jacob ran straight to Blaise, Daesung, with Hyon on his arm, walked up to Nathan and snatched the pass that clearly read, Hyon Sun on the front. Turning to Sun, he placed it around her neck and then almost kissed her cheek before blushing deeply. While the police escorted Nathan out of the building, and paramedics checked out Blaise, Seungri looked about the chaos, but before anyone could ask the question, Hyorin piped up. “He took off, he walked into the hallway and saw Blaise and that huge man making out and just took off.” Pointing to the mark in the wall a few feet away, she continued, "I think his hand was bleeding when he left."

 

Blaise wiped the tears out of his eyes and snatched the towel that the Japanese paramedic was holding up to his face. "I can do it," he snapped, though he hadn't really meant to be rude. He glared harshly at Nathan but couldn't stop more tears from slowly streaming down his face. His grey sweater was stained with blood from his dripping nose and split lip, and he could feel bruises forming around his shoulder and neck, as well as around the eye Nathan had hit, and around his ribs. He ran a hand over where Nathan had kicked him while he was on the ground and breathed through his teeth, looking over the commotion in the room for Youngbae as Hyorin knelt next to him. Jacob tucked his hair behind his ear and gave him a somewhat fatherly look before standing to chew out the nearest security guard in clambering Japanese.

 

“You ok?” she asked him gently, then looking directly into his eyes, she added, “If you invited that man you deserve this, Youngbae doesn't. If you didn’t, then you need to find him and tell him because he thinks you already left with that vile man.” Then getting up she walked toward Seunghyun, the only one who always had a clear head and said quietly, “Bae took off. I’m worried about him; I’ve never seen him like that.”

 

Blaise was up a little too quickly, unsteady on his feet as he followed her. "I didn't invite him!" He insisted, his voice scratchy and desperate. "I wouldn't! it's not like this is the first time this has happened! Which way did he go?"

 

Several YG executives suddenly hurried into the room and immediately consulted Jiyong and Seunghyun as to what was going on. It was quickly determined that Nathan would be prosecuted for everything possible and banned from ever working near Blaise again; their legal team would have to handle the details, but right now their thoughts turned to protecting their artists and assets. One executive asked where Youngbae was, looking from one to the other. Seunghyun said quietly, “he uh, went for a walk sir.” Quickly, they informed the eldest member that security was easier to handle at the hotel and that they needed to change and return to their rooms at once in case any other assailant had gotten through Japanese security.

 

After Hyorin explained where she saw Youngbae escape, Blaise pushed past the group of YG executives, not bothering with their questioning looks or giving Jiyong an answer to where he was going. Asking several people and getting confused looks from even more, Blaise was jogging through hallways, lost, until he found his way into the main theater. He still hadn't found Youngbae, but the tears had finally stopped coming, probably because they'd run out completely.

 

\--------------------------------

 

Out of breath, Youngbae leaned against a wall for several minutes hearing voices he reached for the nearest door and pulled it open slipping inside. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness he realized he was in a large storage facility. From the looks of it, there were many bars in this venue, and all of them stored their alcohol in this room. As the voices disappeared, he read the boxes and grabbed a large bottle from a box labeled with words he couldn't read, before slipping out and down the hall.

 

As he worked to escape from what he'd seen, Youngbae opened the bottle as he sought a hiding place. Finding some stairs, he started up, following the small staircase until it ended then heading down the small walkway as he drank. He kept moving, his goal only to put as much distance as possible between himself and what he'd seen. Up, up, up, he escaped, drinking as he went, until he found himself perched high above the stage he'd performed on such a short time ago. Finally sitting down, slightly dizzy and out of breath he let his feet dangle over the edge as he drank and tried to forget. Sometime later—he had no idea how long—he heard voices down below and pulled his legs in, accidentally losing his shoe as he did. Leaning on the railing, he heard his shoe land with a thud far below.

 

"Youngbae, where the hell did you go?" Blaise said quietly as he wandered down one of the aisles, his own voice echoing back to him in the empty space. Almost tripping over something on the stairs, he picked up a white tennis shoe with silver stars, a shoe that Blaise had chosen himself. He whipped his head up when he heard a quiet cough and saw pink clad dangling legs far above him. Running to the closest backstage entrance and getting in with the pass still around his neck, he was littering the halls with questions again, this time on how to get above the stage. Finally, his questions were answered, and he opened an older looking door onto a metal catwalk, "Y-Youngbae?" He stuttered out, not looking over the edge as he shuffled down the walkway, hoping he hadn't been imagining his friend's legs over him when he'd been on the ground.

 

Hearing Blaise so nearby made Youngbae’s pain and anger boil as he coldly said. “If you came to say goodbye, don’t bother. I saw you two practically having sex in the hallway. I know you sent him a pass, so there’s no use telling me different.” Without even looking up, he took another large drink and slurred his words as he said, “just go, Blaise. Go live your life, and leave me alone.”

 

Blaise flinched back at the angry voice, knowing it was his fault. "I didn't . . . I swear . . . I should have known something was up when he asked if I was coming . . . it wasn't . . ." he took a few more steps. "He wanted me to go with him, and I said no . . . he-" Blaise cut himself off and sniffed, his tears back now as he watched Youngbae in the dim light. This was all his fault. He would have loved to blame Nathan, or Cassie, or anyone else, but Nathan was there for Blaise, even though Blaise didn't want him to be, so all he could think of was all the ways he could have maybe prevented it.

 

Youngbae couldn’t believe less than two hours ago he’d thought about whisking Blaise away to the top of the highest section of cheap seats to show him where the best acoustic was in the room or considered telling him about his first show in this venue. Now still refusing to look up, he growled at Blaise, the very idea of looking into those blue eyes making him ill. Another drag of the fire liquid slipped down his throat as he wondered why Blaise had wasted so much time pretending if he’d never intended to stay.

 

He could hear Blaise’s frightened breathing as he shuffled along the walk and suddenly, rather harshly, he turned to yell at Blaise to leave. The sight shocked him almost sober momentarily as his eyes widened and he jerked to stand up. “I’ll kill him!” He said before losing his balance and almost falling, sliding back down on his knees on the walkway.

 

Blaise grasped the railing quickly as the catwalk shook slightly. "Don't say that, you wouldn't, not for me . . ." his voice was quiet and calm, through another wave of quiet tears. "You wouldn't hurt anyone. You're so nice, and you take care of so many of us, even though you're so ridiculous and stubborn and stupid sometimes." Taking a breath, Blaise took a few more steps toward him, glad the metal railing wasn't shaking with movement anymore.

 

“Why?” he asked Blaise desperately. “Why do you let him treat you like this, and stay with him? I would never hurt you like he does, and yet you two couldn’t keep your hands off of each other. If you didn’t want me, why didn’t you just accept my first offer months ago? Why did you let me get attached?” Looking at the bottle in his hands, Youngbae took another drink. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth, tell me you wanted him to come? I would never have let last night happen; I’d have let you go if you wanted without arguing or begging. I just wanted you happy.” Then looking at the bloody sweater and fresh bruises he shook his head, “I just don’t understand what you see in him, but I have let you go.” He felt helpless and defeated, he wanted to kill Nathan for the bruises on Blaise’s perfect face, and yet Blaise had invited him, welcomed him into their lives, and lied about it.

 

"He wouldn't stop Bae, I tried . . . Jiyong and Seunghyun stopped him . . . He stole Sun's pass . . ." Finally kneeling down beside Youngbae Blaise wiped at his own tears with the arm of his sweater. "I'm so sorry; he came for me, and I knew he would. I didn't know when, but I should have realized. I'm just getting back on my feet, he knows that. But I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave you or Jiyong, or Seunghyun, or Seungri, or Daesung, or Chiffon, or Su Dae, or even Sun. I'm closer to you than my own family Bae, you have to know that . . ."

 

Glaring up through the fog of alcohol Youngbae said in a hollow voice, “I knew. He told me he’d be here. Cassidy warned me you were lying, and Nathan said you invited him. I called him a liar and he told me to wait and see. I came off the stage so excited to see you and you were making out with the man you promised me you were not seeing anymore.” Sagging against the railing, Youngbae stared down at the metal catwalk, avoiding Blaise’s eyes as he whispered, “I do mean it though . . .” As Blaise approached him, he backed up as if keeping distance between them would make the pain go away, but as the other persisted to push forward, he was soon caught in the strange magnetic field that was Blaise. Blinking up at him, his eyes filled with angry tears. “Did you, Blaise? Did you try to stop him? Because when I walked in you sighed at his touch rather loudly and seemed to cling to him.”

 

“Was it fun?” He asked Blaise, ignoring his words as lies, “To try and confuse me? Maybe even turn the straight guy? Was I always just a rich kid’s toy? A game to be played until I was boring?” For the first time he wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or the loss that caused it, but he let tears stain his cheeks, the tears only fueling his embarrassment about how easily he’d let Blaise into his heart.

 

Reaching out to wipe away Youngbae's tears his hand froze in the air, not sure what his friend's reaction would be. "You aren't a toy, and you'll never be boring. This wasn't a game to me, even if you want to believe it is, it's not. If it's easier for you to believe I'm playing with you rather than believe I actually have feelings for you . . .  that's fine, whatever. Next time I'm attacked in a quiet hallway, I'll just need to a minute to warn you that it's not consensual, not that it happens often."

 

Suddenly confused he looked up again, “Jiyong and Seunghyun . . .” he slurred, his eye’s lost focus as he repeated Blaise’s words, "S _tole Sun’s pass . . ._ ” Squeezing his eyes closed to fight the dizziness, he murmured, “Who stole Sun’s pass? Why would someone steal her pass?” Then tilting his head, he gazed at Blaise momentarily before saying, “Why? Why did he come if you didn’t invite him?” Then as if lost in the past, he looked away into the darkness above them as he said, “she told me you would always belong to Nathan, that I was only fooling myself by giving you my faith. She said I was a game to you. It’s my own fault. I knew you’d leave me.”

 

Youngbae’s eyes tried to focus on Blaise as his fogged mind tried to make sense of everything around him. He again tilted his head in confusion as Blaise’s hand suspended in midair almost reached for him. “But Cassidy said you’d say that. She said everyone is a toy to you. She warned me, and I called her a liar.” Leaning his head back against the railing as the dizziness took over again he said quietly, “I would never attack you or force you to do anything. Is that why you don’t want me?” With Youngbae slightly confused and distracted Blaise leaned forward quickly, pushing the almost empty bottle out of his hand. Before he could catch it however it fell away, crashing onto the floor under them.

 

Simultaneously two voices shouted out, Jiyong far beneath him, and Youngbae in front of him "That was mine!" He managed to get out as he leaned a little too far to one side, losing his balance even sitting down. 

 

Blaise could practically see the alcohol seeping into Youngbae's bloodstream, and he'd obviously never had quite this much before. Jiyong and Seunghyun stepped onto the catwalk just as he shook his head. "I'm not going to argue with you now . . ." he sniffed. "I can't anyway . . . he came for me, and in the process screwed up everything, again . . ." He flinched back from Youngbae's forceful words and backed away a few inches for Seunghyun to pull him up.

 

"We need to get him down before he does something even more stupid and throws himself over the edge or something." Seunghyun said, his voice calm, but obviously worried.

 

With a loose grip on reality and sagging eyes Youngbae said in a slur, “Jiyongiieee, how’d you get up here?” as Jiyong pushed his hair off his face, “who hit Blaise? I’ll kill them!”

 

"That horrible ex of his, of course, you know the one you thought he was cheating on you with who then beat the shit out of him, that one!" Jiyong yelled at Youngbae, both angry with him and worried, but Bae didn't seem to understand much of what any of them were saying, still blubbering on and on.

 

He slurred his words again as he slipped towards the edge of the catwalk. “Wait . . . why would I kill Blaise?” he asked scrunching up his face. Then, as if he remembered the scene from earlier, he said, “oh yea, his Nathan. But I still wouldn’t kill Blaise. I love him too much.” He mumbled, then clinging to Jiyong he hiccupped. “I think Blaise left me for that American . . .” before closing his eyes.

 

Opening them again he saw Seunghyun. “Heyyyyyy,” he said sleepily as Seunghyun pulled him to his feet. “Where did you come from? I didn't know you were here.” His strange grin slipping from his lips as he whined, “Seunghyun, I don’t know what to do. Blaise, he left me for that man, the one who hits him. Why would he do that?” His gaze slipping back to Blaise as Seunghyun and Jiyong hauled him up. “I thought you left,” he said, confused. Then he turned to Seunghyun and said, “please tell me I did not do that to him! I love him too much to hurt him like that.” Looking up once more to Blaise who was helping get him off the catwalk Youngbae’s eyes slid closed.

 

Seunghyun shook his head and hoisted Youngbae between him and Jiyong, who was just as strong, though he was much smaller. Youngbae's feet were barely dragging the floor as the trio stood up, and Seunghyun, grunting, said quietly, "You didn't hurt him . . ."

 

None of the men mentioned his intoxicated professions of love, but Blaise couldn't help but think that it was only the alcohol speaking. They'd practically just met him. They couldn't love him in that little time, but the rest of the band treated him like a brother, just like they did Youngbae, and they had stepped in as soon as they realized what was happening, just like family should.

 

Blaise picked up the shoe that matched the one he'd found on the ground and held them in one hand while pulling out his phone to text Jacob, knowing he'd be worried as well. He didn't bother reading Jacob's answer as his phone vibrated again, just stared at the back of Youngbae's head as they dragged him off the catwalk, then slowly followed them, doing his best not to look down as he gripped the rail tightly.

 

Back in the dressing room, Jiyong and Seunghyun had dumped Youngbae's unconscious body into a chair. "Should we call the paramedics? Or someone else?" he asked, his voice higher pitched than normal as he gripped the edge of the chair and leaned over Youngbae.

 

Blaise had finally regained his bearings and shook his head fiercely. "No, I don't want him in trouble. Is there salt anywere?" He was already grabbing Seunghyun again to move Youngbae from where they'd dropped him. "We need to wake him up and get him to throw it up before it gets worse, and it will, trust me." Seunghyun didn't argue, instead he did as he was told and pulled Youngbae out of the chair again, dragging him into a room to the side that was lined with shower heads. Blaise flipped on the cold water and shoved Youngbae under, without bothering to take his pants or his socks off first. "I'm sorry!" He squeaked, not even caring that his clothes were getting wet as well as he ran his hand over Youngbae's face.

 

The water did it's job, and Youngbae's eyes opened, finally. Blaise let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and grabbed the glass of salt from Jiyong, who'd just appeared in the doorway. He filled it out of the shower head and, with Seunghyun's help, pulled him to a trashcan just outside the door. "This is going to be really bad, I'm so sorry. You have to drink this . . ." He shoved the glass in Youngbae's face after he was sure he was awake enough to drink it, aned finally, he was heaving into the trashcan, and Blaise turned his face away, hoping it'd be over soon.

 

Youngbae blinked the cold water out of his eyes, his stomach still clenching as he became more aware of those around him. His head was pounding and his stomach turning while the acidic taste was too strong in his mouth. He was not sure how long he’d been here, but his clothes were soaked, and as he shivered, he said in a shaky voice, “Where am I?”

 

Seunghyun sent out the message that they’d been found and called for a car before looking down at him, worried. “My hand hurts,” Youngbae said quietly, flexing his obviously bruised fingers as he tried to sort out his thoughts before heaving once more. Taking a deep breath, he looked up into Jiyong’s face. “Can I have some water?” he asked weakly, A shudder rumbled through his chest as he searched his mind. What had happened? Why did his hand hurt so badly? The memory came to him suddenly and made him heave once more. When he finished this time, he looked up at Seunghyun who was helping hold him and said quietly, “He left with that man didn’t he? The one who was kissing him?” 

 

“Don’t be so stupid Bae. Who do you think found you before you killed yourself?” Jiyong said with obvious pain in his voice. Standing up behind Youngbae, Blaise backed up, Seunghyun was kneeling by him and Blaise was sure that once he realized what was happening Youngbae wouldn't be thrilled to see him. Running into Jiyong as he stumbled backwards the elder caught him easily. "Don't be as stupid as he's been." Jiyong said quietly, giving him a push back towards Youngbae.

 

Still hanging back, Blaise looked at Youngbae's bruising hand and hoped he'd hit something inanimate rather than a person. He shot across the room so fast when Bae asked for water he was surprised he hadn't noticed. He handed him the cup, but Youngbae didn't even look at him. Instead looking over to Seunghyun, who was helping him up again, and asked if Blaise had left. Blaise choked on the air making its way slowly into his lungs and moved closer, shaking his head but not trusting his voice, he stayed silent this time. He coughed again and lifted up the damp washcloth he'd picked up to wipe gently at Youngbae's face. "Get him something to eat. He'll need it." He said, looking at Jiyong, still not talking to Youngbae.

 

Youngbae slowly turned toward the boy beside him, the one holding a glass up to him, and blinking, he murmured, “I thought you left . . .” His eyes still blurry as he tried to focus, he only partially heard Blaise tell Jiyong to get something for Youngbae to eat. His head was clearing, but he was still dizzy. Looking up at Blaise again, he blinked a few more times before reaching his hand up to the man’s face. “Did Nathan do that?” he asked as he touched the dark bruise that was forming under Blaise’s eye. Then almost in a whisper he said, “I’d never hurt you. Is that why you choose him?”

 

Seunghyun shook his head, “I love you Bae, but god, you’re an idiot.” He said almost silently, taking a step back from the pair as he glanced at Jiyong, who was nodding in agreement.

 

Flinching away from Youngbae's hand as he brought it up to his face, Blaise slowly ran a hand through his hair and finally made eye contact with him. The hurt in Youngbae's eyes was evident after he'd jerked away from his touch. "You can't think I'd choose this, can you? Do you really think I'd orchestrate this entire thing just to play games with you?" He put a hand to his face and forcibly pushed away the tears that were pooling in his eyes again. "You're so stupid, so ridiculous. I can't believe you did this to yourself, because of me, you can't care about me that much, you've made that clear, but you're a bad liar and a stupid drunk."

 

“You don’t know anything about the way I feel,” Youngbae said, sounding like a petulant child before growing almost silent, he continued, “actually, you’re probably the ONLY one who knows how I really feel, outside of Jiyong.”

 

The door slammed open and Jacob, looking frantic and riled, stormed in. " _Blaise_!" He exclaimed, pushing past Jiyong to pull Blaise into a hug, like an older brother. "God, when I saw him there I thought- and then you were on the ground- and then you disappeared." He pulled back, holding Blaise at arm’s length and studying the bruising across his face and neck, as well as his now drenched clothing. "You're _never_ doing that again, I swear if I have to handcuff you to me you're not running off like that again."

 

Youngbae watched mutely as Jacob hugged Blaise and told him how worried he’d been. After Nathan, even the sight of Jacob touching Blaise made Youngbae want to kill someone, as he glared jealously at Jacob without realizing it. He wanted to argue with Jacob, yell at him that he wouldn’t be like Nathan, but he’d obviously been just as bad as Nathan in his own way, otherwise Jacob wouldn’t have pulled Blaise away like he did so. After glancing at Blaise once more, Youngbae looked away. Maybe he was bad for him. Maybe his need to keep a distance had nothing to do with Blaise and everything to do with not hurting him.

 

Blaise let his head drop and looked sideways at Jiyong, his face guilty, "s-sorry- But I didn't even leave the venue- And Hyorin told me Bae had run off- I couldn't just let him think-"

 

Seunghyun cut him off by clearing his throat and waved his phone in the air, handing a pair of basketball shorts and a black hoodie to Youngbae. "The car is here. We need to get back to the hotel." He looked at the state of Blaise's clothing and handed him a hoodie as well, which Blaise threw on instead of the blood stained—and now wet—sweater.

 

Climbing into the car first at Seunghyun’s insistence, Youngbae found himself on the far end by a window, his face flushed and his stomach still feeling weak. He watched Jiyong and Seunghyun climb in as he wished Blaise would come sit near him, but the boy was still at the door talking to Jacob. Youngbae knew Jacob would never forgive him for putting Blaise in harm’s way, if he was honest with himself he may never forgive himself either. He stared out the window desperately wanting to beckon Blaise to sit next to him, desperately wanting him to finish his sentence... " _I couldn't just let him think-_ ", he sat feeling more alone than he’d ever felt in his life, even in the car with his best friend sitting across from him, and Seunghyun one of his closest friends in the world right beside Jiyong. Leaning his head on the window in the darkness he let the tears fall once more as he hoped no one would notice.

 

"Go on, we'll talk about it in the morning." Jacob said, squeezing Blaise's shoulder.

 

Before Blaise climbed in, however, he leaned into the car and pointed a finger at Youngbae. " _You fix this_ ," he said shortly in Korean before putting a hand out to help Blaise into the car and closing the door quickly, climbing into the front seat that was separated by a tinted sliding window which firmly was closed.

 

Rather than buckling into the opposite side, Blaise sat in the middle seat, right next to Youngbae. "I'm sorry Bae . . ." Blaise repeated quietly, finally reaching his hand a few inches over to take Youngbae's hand.

 

Youngbae stared out the window trying to focus his mind, stiffening when he felt Blaise beside him, their hands only inches apart as the car pulled into traffic. Without moving he finally took a deep breath and asked, “you couldn’t just let me think _what_ Blaise?” He worked hard to keep his voice neutral while his emotions ran wild, fear, desperation, happiness, sadness, jealously, everything firing all at once. He waited in silence as the traffic moved slowly. Youngbae struggled to remain indifferent as his thoughts went to pushing Blaise down onto the seat to cover him with kisses.

 

Blaise wiped at his own eyes with the hand that wasn't attached to Youngbae's and took a breath, "Hyorin said you'd run off after you saw me with Nathan, obviously before he decided that knocking me out was easier than trying to convince me to go with him." Blaise gave disgusted look and shook his head, "Once I got away and she told me what you thought you saw... I couldn't let you keep believing that for even a second, I had to find you and let you know I didn't- wasn't- I'm not playing games with you . . . I needed to make sure you were okay, it was all I could think about . . ."

 

“I’d never force you to do anything, Blaise. I’m not like Nathan,” he whispered without moving while Jiyong and Seunghyun exchanged looks and pretended not to notice.

 

He ran his thumb over the inside of Youngbae's hand and nodded. "I know you wouldn't. You're too sweet, too wonderful."

 

“It was awful,” Youngbae admitted quietly. “All I wanted to do was run as far away from you both as I could get. The sight of you kissing made me ill.” Then, as he tried to sort out his thoughts, he said quietly, “I should have been there to protect you, Blaise, I’m sorry. I saw you, and it just hurt too much." Scrunching up his nose, he added, "You smell like him; it’s disgusting." Youngbae shifted uncomfortably. "I know it’s not fair of me to feel this way, and I'm sorry,” he whispered, not looking up from their clasped hands as Blaise ran his thumb over Youngbae's palm, making him shiver slightly.

 

When the car pulled into the garage underneath the hotel, Seunghyun said quietly, “the press thinks we are all already in the hotel. No one know’s anything about Youngbae’s behavior this evening. YG would like to keep it that way.” Looking directly at Blaise, he asked, “can you get Bae to your room without help and stay there until I tell you otherwise? If so, Jiyong and I will handle any straggling press or fans that might have found their way to our entrance.”

 

 

Blaise nodded to Seunghyun, promising to get Youngbae up to their room safely. Through the parking garage, the back of the lobby, the elevator, and the hallway, Blaise kept his hand in Youngbae's, though he wasn't as close as he would have liked. No one would bat an eye at the two men holding hands, not with a hotel full of Korean idols. Luckily, they didn't pass many people as they hurried through the building, finally reaching their room. Blaise was glad he hadn't changed pants at the venue, or he'd have probably lost his room key. Once he unlocked the door, he pulled Youngbae inside and flipped the light on.

 

"I'm sorry. I’m so sorry. I ruined everything, again. I deserve it, I guess. I fucked up so much, I don't deserve more than Nathan and Cassie, but things were getting so much better, with the guys, especially with you. Everything was getting better. I'm trying to get better. I'm trying to make it work here, with you. Nathan wasn't supposed to come; poor Sun didn't even know him, and I didn't want to see him again, didn't want to talk to him again... Seunghyun and Jiyong really knew; they made me realize really how horrible he was, those first few nights. It was horrible, and I love them for it." _And you, I love you._ Blaise almost finished, but the words didn't come. They were still standing by the door as Blaise stammered on and on, until he realized how strung together his words were becoming as he talked as fast as he could in Korean. "I'm sorry, I really am." He said once again, his voice dropping along with his gaze.

 

Youngbae stayed quiet for a moment, but finally he put his hand up, tipping Blaise's chin gently back down to look at him. “Stop, Blaise. Stop apologizing,” he insisted. “If you didn’t invite him, and he stole a pass to get in and attacked you, then I am the one who owes an apology, not you. I’m the one who thought you were cheat- I mean . . . Uh . . . Yeah . . . I thought . . .” He struggled for what he’d thought. He’d thought that Blaise was going to leave with Nathan, and it infuriated him and made him feel so betrayed, even though he had no right to feel that way.

 

Suddenly realizing something, Youngbae asked quickly, “did Sun get kicked out then? Daesung would be so upset. He invited her especially, and she’s supposed to stay at this hotel and fly home with us tomorrow!” His alcohol muddled brain was having trouble keeping up as Blaise struggled with his answer in Korean. It hurt Youngbae to know Blaise loved everyone so much, everyone but him of course. He wanted to ask why Blaise loved them, Seungri and Daesung, and Jiyong and Seunghyun, even Hyorin, but not him. Closing his eyes, he listened as Blaise carried on, his Korean and English mixing together as he tried to speak his thoughts in Korean.

 

Putting his finger up to Blaise’s lips, he pressed it into him and simply said, “Blaise, stop. I’m sorry I didn't believe you, and I’m sorry I didn’t protect you from Nathan, this was all so new, and I was already so sure you wanted him that my mind told me what I saw was real.”

 

He pulled Blaise into a hug, and the blond whispered in his ear, "I don't want him, Youngbae . . . I don't . . . I want you . . ." At that exact moment, Youngbae stepped away from him. Blaise looked up at him, hurt and surprised, but the elder said nothing as he walked into the bathroom and returned with a damp washcloth.

 

Youngbae didn't say another word as he began to gently clean the blood and sweat from Blaise’s face, lips, and neck before reaching down to pull the hoodie off of him. Dropping it to the floor, he cleaned the dried blood from Blaise’s torso silently and gently. When the blood was gone, he turned and walked back into the bathroom rinsing the towel and laying it out before he returned, still not saying a word as he looked at Blaise intently.

 

Lifting his hand timidly he touched the bruise on Blaise’s ribs, pulling back quickly when Blaise flinched away. Looking hurt, he quietly said, “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His eyes traced the marks along Blaise’s neck then up to the bruises on his face, how had he not seen what was really going on? He asked himself the same question over and over.

 

His balance was still uneasy as he leaned against the wall and gazed at Blaise standing there in his filthy skinny jeans and no shirt, large purple bruises blossoming all over his exposed skin, “Jacob is going to take you away from me, isn’t he?” He’d asked the question without realizing it and immediately felt foolish, he was acting like a small child, unwilling to give the man in front of him a real relationship and yet still unwilling to give him up; it was selfish and wrong. 

 

"No, he wouldn't . . . This wasn't you . . . It wasn't your fault," Blaise whispered as Youngbae reached for his hand, but stopped, confusion still obvious on his face. Youngbae so desperately wanted to close the distance to press his lips to Blaise, but after what Nathan had done he didn’t want the man to feel threatened again so quickly. Blaise didn't let him stand there for long before grabbing his hand and pulling him against him.

 

He felt the touch like fire against his skin, and his arms tightened slightly before relaxing again. He put his hand into Youngbae's short hair and his lips to Youngbae's ear, meaning to say something, but the words were lost as he sighed against him, the feeling so much different than it had ever been with Nathan.

 

It was as if Youngbae's body had a mind of its own, standing there in the darkness clinging to the Blaise, though he’d tried to keep his distance. Youngbae had no idea what he was doing. All he did know was he could not let go. His feverish desires, and the alcohol coursing through him, affecting his ability to think straight at all as his mouth claimed Blaise’s neck feverishly. His hands roamed farther down the other man’s back, pulling him tightly against him. He wasn’t sure if he’d have been so bold had he been sober, but at this point it didn’t matter. The pain, rage, jealousy, and passion, were all intertwined as he clung to Blaise, kissing his neck and whispering Blaise’s name along with words like _mine_. He wanted to pull him toward the bed, wanted to never stop touching him again. The side of his brain that reasoned was too intoxicated to tell the side who desperately wanted him now to slow down.

 

Somewhere in the back of Blaise's mind, he was telling himself to stop, to not let this go any farther. Youngbae was still drunk, and he didn't want him doing anything he'd regret, but as Youngbae's hands slip down Blaise's backside and he could feel that voice growing quieter. Youngbae's lips and tongue roamed Blaise's neck, across the bruises, and his hands pulled Blaise closer by the bottom, making Blaise blush when he could feel that he wasn't the only one excited by the situation.

 

A knock at the door should have actually interrupted him, but all it did was make Youngbae's arms tighten around him as he growled out an answer just loud enough for the person on the other side to hear. "Go _away_!" The tone of his voice made Blaise shiver, he was never one to reason with someone who wanted him. In fact, bad ideas that involved alcohol and sex were his specialty, but when he heard a second knock at the door Blaise remembered the voice that had been telling him he didn't want to go too far with Youngbae, not yet. 

 

"God knows I would love for you to do _whatever_ you want to me Bae, but you'll regret it tomorrow, and you don't want this yet, not right now. This isn't you; you know it isn't." His voice was still a whisper and it took everything in him to pull back from the man, his breathing heavy as their gazes locked.

 

“Why do you say I’d regret it?” He asked confused, the knock came a third time, and before stepping away from Blaise, he whispered, “we're not finished yet.” Then turning around, he yelled, "fine! I'm coming!" As he walked to the door and swung it wide open without thinking, he stood there face to face with Jiyong and Seunghyun, his breath ragged, his face flushed, and his arousal obvious. Behind him Blaise seemed frozen to the wall his pale face pink and his breathing just as ragged.

Seunghyun looked at them both, his cool gaze unreadable, but Jiyong broke out in a huge grin.“I told you we should leave them alone,” he piped in, but was cut off as Seunghyun shook his head. "There is an agency party downstairs, all our artists, visiting artists, and executives from our Japanese subsidiaries are down there. Everyone is worried about Blaise after hearing about the fight, and people are wondering where Youngbae has gone off to. You guys don’t have to stay all night, but we need to save face and make an appearance, especially . . .” he paused, “if this,” he indicated Youngbae’s current state, “is going to happen, you know the agency rules. “As long as it doesn’t affect anyone, negatively they will turn a blind eye; looks like you might need that blind eye.”

 

Youngbae started to argue, but then the realization his him that his hyung was saying the exact same thing he’d said to Seunghyun when he’d faced a similar issue. “Fine,” he said begrudgingly. “We'll be down soon, just need to get cleaned up.” Turning to close the door he heard Seunghyun whispered, “cold water on your face and neck, and I find concentrating on naked elderly sumo wrestling always calms me down.”

 

\---------------------

 

He closed the door with a snap as Jiyong snorted and the two walked back down the hallway. Seunghyun felt sorry for Youngbae, as this was a difficult road in their culture, and their career, regardless of if it was going to last or not. At the same time, he couldn't help but be proud that the younger was beginning to understand himself.

 

His own boyfriend giggled like a schoolgirl as Seunghyun quietly, made him promise to keep this new discovery to themselves for the moment, “They’ll come out in their own way, just like we did. Remember, this might be easy for Blaise, like it was for you, but for Youngbae, it isn't a matter of actual attraction, it's more than that. You’ve met his family, you told me how traditional they are. They don't care that you're . . . Like that, but he's got to be wondering if they'll feel the same about their own son being . . ."

 

"Gay? It's a three letter word, hyung. How long have we been together, and you still have so much to learn." Seunghyun opened his mouth, but Jiyong cut him off with a wave of his hand, "Yeayeayea, you're not gay, you just like me. Need I remind you that I am, in fact, a man?" Seunghyun rolled his eyes, letting his arm fall around the smaller rapper's shoulders, deciding it was better not to argue.

 

\--------------------

 

Blaise hadn't moved from where Youngbae had left him, but his breathing had more or less evened out when the elder came back. His touch was even more gentle this time as he tucked Blaise's messy hair out of his eyes. “Are you sure I’ll regret you? Or maybe that you will regret me? You said anything I want in one breath and stop in the next.”

 

"No, no, it's not that . . . I want this. I have for a while . . . But you're drunk, and I don't know how much of this is you and how much of it isn't." Blaise ran his fingers over the back of Youngbae's neck and his shoulders, kissing him on the top of his head as he leaned in farther. "Next time we come to this, and I hope that will be soon, I'm afraid whether your drunk or not I won't be able to push you away, but I do hope you normally want me as much as you do right now." he smiled against Youngbae's hair, content even when he pulled away again.

 

Burying his face in Blaise’s neck he breathed deeply and finally quietly said, “Fine, I’m drunk, but next time we come to this, if I’m not drunk, will you have another excuse to push me away, Blaise?” 

 

He was both worried and confused as he finally let his hands fall from Blaise and headed to the bathroom to clean up. “You should change if we are going to go downstairs Blaise, and please, you still smell like him, I can’t stand it.” He wasn’t sure when it had begun to matter maybe tonight maybe earlier but the idea that Blaise would smell like anyone other than Blaise infuriated him, because the idea of someone else touching him was unbearable.

 

"I'll be quick." Blaise said squeezing Youngbae's hand before he finally let go, on his way to the shower Blaise was shedding clothes, jumping under the water before it even got warm. Without thinking about it Blaise scrubbed his skin until it was red, now that he was alone again Nathan crept into his thoughts, making him try that much harder to wash him away.

 

Grabbing some ice for his hand while he waited for Blaise, Youngbae took a deep breath, wishing he understood his own feelings, as well as Blaise’s. He knew Blaise wanted a relationship but wasn’t sure he wanted it with himself. He’d never considered a relationship and when he thought of the future it was always with a nice average Korean girl not like the screaming fans or gorgeous idols, but someone normal, whose schedule didn’t always keep them apart like his would. He was straight. The idea that he could have a relationship with a man had never even been a consideration.

 

Yet, as he watched Blaise attempt to cover some of his bruises, the anger and desperate need to protect him welled up inside of him, and before thinking better of it, he’d crossed the room and wrapped his arms around Blaise from behind. “You look gorgeous as always, you don’t need that, we are not hiding what happened tonight. It wasn’t you fault, it was his. And we're letting people know what kind of person he is. Besides, what if makeup infects the cuts? Just keep them clean. Please?"

 

"I've covered them up for long enough, I guess it's habit," Blaise said quietly, still applying the creme to the bruising around his eyes, but that's where he stopped, leaving the spots around his neck and cheeks alone. He relaxed in Youngbae's gentle touch and shook his head, "Come on, I'm ready. Put on something that doesn't look like pajamas." The pair both laughed, and finally, they were heading for the elevator.

 

In the hallway, they stepped apart, but as soon as the elevator doors closed Youngbae’s arms were around him again. “I’m sorry I’m so difficult, Blaise, this is all so confusing for me. I’m not gay, but the idea of you with anyone else makes me insanely jealous. The two are very difficult to reconcile. Please promise me, if you meet someone, make sure he’s good enough, and please tell me. Don’t make me find out.” When he looked up at Blaise again, he was surprised to see the younger man chuckling quietly. Here he was, spilling his guts, and Blaise was laughing.

 

The boy shook his head slightly and kissed him on the cheek, the smile still apparent on his face. "Jealousy looks good on you Bae," he said with a quiet laugh. "If I do find someone who could stand a chance against you, I'll let you know, but I wouldn't count on it." He was just about to kiss him on the cheek again when the elevator doors opened and they separated again.

 

The last time he attended a party like this, alcohol had not been allowed, and Cassie had tried to split Big Bang down the middle, or at least away from Blaise. Thankfully, it hadn't worked, but Blaise had avoided parties like this since then. There'd been a couple after parties when he was in Taiwan and China, but he had only made a short appearance before retiring to his hotel room to talk on the phone with Maria, Jiyong, and even his mother. This time, however, he felt right at home. He could only understand half of what was going on, but he was fairly certain there were no drugs involved, and no one seemed to be set on trying to make a fool out of him. The lack of either of those things drew Blaise in like a moth to flame. "Blaise!" He whipped his head to the side to see Amber running up to him.

 

"Oh my God! Are you okay?"

 

"How could he do that?"

 

"Who was that guy?"

 

"What an asshole!"

 

Before he was quite ready, a group of men and women alike surrounded him, bombarding him with questions and concerns about his well-being, mostly all at the same time, in multiple languages. "I'm okay, I just needed to clean up a little. The guys have really helped." He turned to smile at Youngbae, who he had thought was beside him, but in the midst of the chaos, he'd disappeared. Blaise frowned a bit but took a breath and replaced it with a quick smile. Again and again, he insisted he was okay. Jiyong wandered over to give him a hug. Seunghyun nodded to him and smiled, though he was quiet in the crowd. The girls from 2ne1 and f(x) dragged him around and introduced him to their Japanese counterparts, most of which thankfully spoke enough English or Korean to communicate without much trouble. Though Blaise loved the attention, the he was constantly looking around for Youngbae, who was still missing somewhere in the room.

 

Meanwhile, Youngbae, still shaky from the nights events, followed the wall around and grabbed another drink from the bar without being seen. Edging farther around the room, he took in the sheer number of idols there, movie actors, television idols, music producers, all from a variety of countries, all here for one wild, no cameras allowed, VIP party. He watched a long time as Blaise, like a king, held court with his head held high, and the people seemed to love him. His Korean was getting better, and his respect for their cultures made him a darling, not to mention his unusually bright appearance even with the swelling bruises which by all accounts now were at the hands of _that horrible, violent American_. Rumors flew about the room, and although many people greeted Youngbae, no one bothered him too much, he was well known to have his silent moods, and people respected that.

 

After some time trying to get everyone's story straight, Blaise yelped when he got pulled into a mauling hug from Daesung and Seungri both, at the same time. Sun crashed into his waist immediately after, her face pink. "I'm so sorry! I should have found someone sooner. No one would let me in, and he had my pass! I'm sorry!"

 

Blaise was surprised by the hug. Not only was the girl usually very subdued and serious, but he also didn't realize that she'd felt like it was her fault. "It's not your fault, Sunny!" Blaise hugged her back, then pulled back to look at her, his face earnest. "If anyone should be sorry it's me. He followed me and attacked you to get to me. I should have seen it coming! I'm sorry, I really am."

 

Sun was already shaking her head and apologizing again when Daesung put his arm around her. "You both need to shut up, stop apologizing, and have a drink."

 

Seungri laughed loudly and crossed his arms. "It's neither of your faults. You should have seen the dumbass though, he tried to take on six security guards and three policemen. It was actually rather comical once we knew Blaise was okay."

 

The four of them bantered for a few more minutes before Daesung was dragging Seungri, Sun, and Blaise onto the dance floor. Shaking his head, Blaise declined, telling them he wanted to find Youngbae. Seungri pointed him in the right direction and Blaise hurried to the bar, intent on finding Youngbae.

 

Youngbae jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “So what’s the verdict? You switching teams, or does once of us have a chance with that tall hot blonde you’ve been hiding from us?”

 

Youngbae  rolled his eyes, searching for Blaise where he'd disappeared with Daesung and Seungri. “Yonghwa . . . I haven't changed teams. I still won’t date you, and if anyone tries to hit on Blaise tonight I can't promise that I'll stand calmly by.”

 

Yonghwa raised his eyebrows at Youngbae. “Not gay but gay for him? Is that what you are telling me? Because you know no one actually believes that.” Looking down at his nearly empty beer, Youngbae didn’t make eye contact with Yonghwa as he ordered another drink.

 

Smiling at the bartender, Yonghwa also ordered two waters, and sat down next to him. “You know it’s ok, hyung. I understand. Being open is so difficult in our society, but hiding in the closet is so lonely. Don’t lose what your heart wants because of the fear of being caught.” Shrugging, he added, “we are lucky we are in the one industry that people are willing to sweep this under the rug, because the fan girls love that shit.”

 

Looking up into Yonghwa’s eyes, Youngbae said quietly, “it wasn’t you. It wasn’t personal, you know, you just . . . No one has ever touched my soul until now . . . It’s so hard to explain, I’m sexually attracted to women, but when he is near me, it’s like my heart cries out to him and there’s a hole in me when he's not there. The idea of losing him is more painful than the idea of the world finding out about us… If there is an us… I’m still so unsure about how Blaise feels about me.”

 

Yonghwa listened thoughtfully “I think whatever you two decide is your own personal business, but I’ll make sure word is out that Blaise is off limits for now, I’ll make some excuse about his needing time to think, people will see what happened tonight with his ex and think it’s because of that. For now, just make sure Big Bang knows. They'll be your best line of defense, after all.” Putting his arm around Youngbae, he hugged him tight. “Whatever you decide, I support you. Just remember, if you decide you're straight, I get dibs on the hottie. And if you decide you're gay and it doesn’t work out, there’s always my offer from before.” He finished with a wink before turning to go.

 

Blaise wasn't sure Youngbae had wanted him to hear the confession. He couldn't bring himself to approach the pair that seemed so close. His throat tightened when the man standing beside Youngbae put his arm around him, his eyes flaring with jealousy. This must have been what Youngbae had felt, but he wasn't running away. The man was a few inches shorter than Blaise, and had hair almost the exact same colour. Blaise just hoped that rather than a thing for blondes Youngbae just had a thing for him, in fact he was willing to dye his hair just to prove it. Blaise folded his arms and looked between them, though Youngbae didn't seem near as clingy as the other man. The stranger looked up to Blaise suddenly and smirked at him before squeezing his shoulder again and walking right past Blaise, whispering in English as he passed, "If it doesn’t work out, call me, gorgeous,” before joining the large group of people on the dancefloor. Blaise felt like if he opened his mouth, he could spit fire, burning that smug little grin right off his face.

 

Everything about this confused him, but when Youngbae finally looked at Blaise he suddenly felt like things would work out again. Leaving his hardly touched beer, he walked toward Blaise, who looked at Yonghwa as if he might kill him. Closing the distance quickly he laughed. “I think he likes you, Blaise.” Then, more seriously, he added, “I’m not going to lie, when he said he liked you I wanted to wring his neck, but after the way you looked at him . . . I guess I don’t need to be jealous.”

 

"Me? He likes _me_? You're the one he's was hanging all over. Now _I'm_ jealous." Blaise's livid expression melted as Youngbae's laughter filled his ears, and he leaned over to peck him on the cheek, in his peripheral vision he saw the man who was hanging on Youngbae grin mischievously at the pair before turning to his friends.

 

Neither of them was inclined to stay at the party very long, but friends were distracting, drinks were unlimited, and by the time they were stumbling down the hallway to their room Blaise was half holding up Youngbae, who apparently couldn't hold his liquor at all. This time, it had least been fun, rather than out of anger. It had been an uneventful party, just the kind Blaise enjoyed, and falling asleep curled up with the idol was something he'd never get used to, but he'd always enjoy. Just before the pair let themselves be taken by sleep, Blaise swore he heard Youngbae murmur, "I think I might be falling in love with you . . ." It was something he wasn't completely sure he'd understood correctly. There was no way he'd actually say that, right . . . ? He shook his head and buried his head against Youngbae's chest, leaving the question for another day.


End file.
